Fanboy
by Kitteh and Neo
Summary: AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.
1. Chapter 1

**Fanboy**

By Kitteh and Neofox

**Rating** Pg-13

**Warnings** Fanboys and girls, violence, gore, swearing and plenty of gay fun

**Disclaimer** Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim. So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM! We just want to borrow Dwicky and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.

**Summary** AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.

**Beta** Azi

Chapter 01

Geekasmic: the city's largest annual sci-fi convention; if you were into anything remotely paranormal or science fiction related, you were there. It was where every single fan went to talk about the things that interested them and squeal over the things that they obsessed over daily. There were people dressed up as their favorite characters (some more poorly than the rest.) Fans sitting off to the side of a hallway were having arguments over which episode of that famous space drama had the hottest alien women. Other's were pawing and scratching away at the guests that had come to the convention to sign autographs. They refused to let their heroes get away without signing some memorabilia.

Near the front of the convention hall sat one long table in particular. One of the more famous guests sat there, having signed more than his fair share of autographs. Dib let out a long, exasperated sigh. One slender hand moved up to rub at temples as a pen dropped from the other. It was the same thing every year, but the fans just seemed to get worse and worse. Somewhere in between signing someone's trench coat and a pair of fake glasses he thought he had gotten carpal tunnel. Sometimes he just wanted to hide away from all the fame. Or at least hide behind that plant in the corner. That sounded nice.

"Oh, magawd, Mister Dib. I am like your BIGGEST fan!" a girl with violet hair squealed. She approached the man's table as soon as the previous fan left with their pile of autographed junk. Now in Dib's presence she continued the cacophonous noise. "I have all your comics and shirts- and- and- I loved the way you beat up that mutant bell pepper by using its own seeded spawn against it, and then saved the mayor's daughter by swinging across a telephone wire and snatching her from the timed nuclear explosion!" She clasped her hands together. "It was so brave, and fearless, and manly and and- and- can you sign my comics?" The girl plopped down nearly the entire collection of _Big Head Alien Hunter: a semi-true Dib story _ on the table. "Please?" she squeaked, biting her nails with excitement.

Dib couldn't even get a word in edgewise before the books were set in front of him. All he could do was stare for what felt like hours before he remembered he had a tedious job to perform, and that was to make every single fan happy. He really wished there was an item limit, and it didn't help that convention security ran off hours ago. They were the lucky ones. He picked the pen back up and took one of the comics off the pile. Looking it over, he cringed at the title. He let it slide for the moment and glanced at the hyper girl in front of him, trying his best to seem interested. "Who should I sign them to?"

"Zita!" The girl screeched when Dib seemed interested in her name; in that instant, all her wild fan girl dreams came true. "I'm Zita. Please make it out to Zita. Eeee!" she squealed again and leaned over the table to watch Dib sign with interest. "What's it like fighting aliens and discovering new life forms?" She went to biting her nails again eagerly.

Dib didn't even flinch at the loud squawking. He had become used to such noises and zoned them out when he heard them. As soon as he was finished with one comic, he set it aside to pick up another, shrugging his shoulders at the girl's question. "It depends on the situation. Sometimes it can be dangerous. Other times there's not much to it. I've come to know what to expect, but there can be those rare occasions where something actually surprises me. It's a nice change." He lost count of how many times he had answered that question. It was as if people were expecting him to shoot lasers from his eyes.

"That's so amazing! I love you so much, Mister Dib! I can't believe I'm actually talking to you and actually getting your autograph!" Zita bounced in place as if she'd jump out of her skin. "This makes me so happy!"

"Stop alien scum!" A herd of seven acne pockmarked teenagers dressed like the great Paranormal Investigator Dib walked by. "You're not getting away with that, space boy!" another started as the rest piped up. One of the rather pudgy Dibs didn't fit well into his trench coat; he lifted up a green alien toy and squeezed it causing its eyes to bulge out and squeak. "I will defeat you"

"-FOR THE SAKE OF THE HUMAN RACE!" they all chimed in together.

"-and your hair, how do you get it so loooong and pointy?" Dib caught the last of Zita's fawning as the group headed to view another table across the room.

Dib kept his eyes on the group that walked away and he could almost feel his lower eyelid twitch. He almost didn't catch the girl's question and quickly turned his attention back to her. "Huh?" He let out a small sigh when he realized what she asked and turned his full attention back to the pile of comics in front of him. "It's that way on it's own. I can't really tame it no matter what I do to it." He had that answer down to a tee as well. Although, it did nothing to help lessen the stack of books in front of him.

Zita clapped her hands and made a happy noise as soon all of her comics were signed. The people in line behind her was getting annoyed and restless. They started quoting from the live action movie based off one of Dib's adventures saving the world from vengeful ghosts (the real adventure had only taken ten minutes but the media spruced it up and made it a three hour feature). "Thank you Dib! er- Mister Dib! Dib Master o' Greatness, Protector of Earth!" She scooped up her comics and turned to leave. "These'll fetch a good price online!"

Dib shook his cramped hand after the deed was done. He gave a bit of a dirty look at her parting words. He didn't mean to, but he sometimes felt like most of what he did was for nothing. Once the peppy little fangirl was out of his vision, he looked at the long line. So much for his small bit of peace. Groaning, he dropped his head to the table. He didn't even say next, they would come up anyway, whether invited to or not.

The next person was hesitant. He bounced on his toes in eager excitement, just like any of the others who approached Dib's table. The teen walked up to the table and stopped, fidgeting in the man's presence, and staring sideways at Dib. He raised a hand, loose bracelets sliding down his thin arm with a subtle clack. The hand was meant as a salutation; what came out of the boy's mouth was the anything but. "You look like crap," he stated point blank in observation. The teen's eyes widened and he blanched before he turned a nice shade of crimson. He clapped a hand over his mouth; those weren't the first words he wanted to say when he finally met his idol.

Those certainly weren't the words Dib had been expecting from the next person in line. He groaned a little because he knew it was true, although, it was a nice change from the constant praise he normally got: he really was starting to get sick of himself. For a few seconds, Dib stayed as he was before he lifted his head to make eye contact. He gazed at the person in front of him with little interest as he spoke up, his voice muffled by his coat. "I'd like to see you sit here all day and sign your name on an obscene amount of things." He let out a sigh, "Speaking of that, what is it you want me to sign, a shoe-lace with my face on it or something?"

"Sign?" The boy blinked and groped around his person. It was evident that had indeed forgotten to bring anything. He had simply gotten in line and thought things would work themselves out. "Oh. Um." He patted his black t-shirt with a neon green alien bunny saying 'moofies!' on it. "I don't have anything to sign. Did you want to sign something? Er- no- of course you wouldn't want anything to sign. Uh, everyone else ahead of me has said a lot of what I wanted to say. Some twice, but at least more than five times." He fidgeted for a moment. "I'm Dwicky, and I believe in everything you've ever fought and stood for, sir. I've had an interest in aliens and paranormal activity ever since I- well, since ever. I investigated a haunted house that was next door once. Helped a ghost kitty with some unfinished business. She just wanted her rubber mouse toy. Erm, ahem." He rested his hands on the table, leaning forward with new energy. "What I'm trying to say, sir, is," Dwicky stood up and practically glimmered and sparkled with hope, "I would like to be apprentice!" He placed his hands on the table again, leaning forward. "..-and can I touch your dorsal fin?" he added quickly under his breath, sticking out his hand as he tried to 'sneakily' reach over to touch the man's pointy lock of hair.

"Whoa!" Dib sat back in his chair, trying his best to move away from the sudden hand that was stealthing towards him. "You want to be my what now?" He eyed the teenager carefully before he shook his head while he rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "It's official. I've been sitting here too long. I need to take a break." He dropped the pen on the table, as well as his hand, and looked back at the other once his eyes were opened. "Sorry to burst your bubble kid, but I don't really feel the need to take any kind of apprentice." He looked away after he said the words, figuring the teen would leave him alone after that. "Geez, I haven't even been able to eat lunch yet."

Dwicky squeaked and determinedly clenched his hands in front of him. "What about minion? Uh- lackey? pupil? disciple? devotee? helper? assistant? secretary? Er- no wait! Scratch that. I'm bad at taking notes, and booking appointments, but I look rather fabulous in a skirt. Ha ha- yea...done with that thought there," he cleared his throat into a fist. " What about trainee? lap dog? flunky? Yeah, I could grab you a bite to eat." The teen dug into his pocket and pulled out a black wallet with a white heart on it that was connected to a chain hooked onto his belt loop. Dwicky went through his wallet to see just how much money he had on him. He chewed the ring piercing on his lip: all his money for valuable merchandise at the convention. Then again, this opportunity was more invaluable than buying the limited addition collector action figure set of Uranus Explorers. "And a coffee? You like coffee? I like coffee? Can I buy you coffee?" Dwicky couldn't help but bounce on the balls of his booted feet with barely contained excitement.

"Food?" That one thought above all else had Dib turning his eyes back on the eager teen. "You'd be willing to buy me food?" Well, that was a stupid question. Of course every single one of the people in the lineup would have been willing to buy him food.

...maybe do more.

The thought caused him to shudder he spoke up again. "Well, I can't really turn such a thing down if you're offering." He raised a brow as he looked Dwicky over. His expression suddenly skeptical. "You aren't going to stuff me into the back of a van or anything once you get me outside are you?"

Dwicky quickly shook his head. ".. I took the bus here." He pointed a ringed finger toward the door with a blink. "Besides.. you'd kick my face in with some swanky moves if I tried something funny. Sooo." He glanced behind him and noticed the angry and aggravated looks he was getting from other fans.

"I'll buy you food Dib!"

"Me! Me! Pick me! I'll buy you breakfast, lunch AND dinner!" A Dib-dressed fan flailed her arms.

"I'll buy you food for two days!"

"A WEEK!"

"MONTH!"

"I love you Dib!" a group of girls shrieked in unison near the back of the lineup, and that's when everyone in the lineup decided they'd pipe up with their two cents.

Dib leaned over to look past Dwicky at each person in the line up. The sight caused him to give out another aggravated sigh before he righted himself and looked back at Dwicky. "Well, for my sake let's hope you really are sane." He picked up a piece of paper off of the table and used the pen to write. When he was finished, he folded the paper up and sat it down so that the 'back whenever' message could be seen. Afterwards, he threw the pen aside and stood up from the chair, ignoring everyone's eyes on him as he tried to stretch the kinks out of his back. "Finally, freedom."

There was a round of sad groans and much like a horde of zombies they stumbled forward with arms outstretched towards Dib. Dwicky let out a chirp of surprise and climbed onto the desk to avoid being trampled. "Well that's just eerie."

With sticky fingers and wide lewd grins, the fans came towards Dib. The mass squirmed as others from the back tried to worm their way closer in the crowd to get to Dib. Their cartoon-quoting mouths drooled as their voices blended together into a single groan of Dib's name over and over again.

"Yoink!"

Dib's wrist was grabbed and he was yanked away from the clutches of the disturbing clingy fans.

"Speak not of liberation yet, sir." Dwicky grinned back at Dib as he pulled the man into the crowd of the convention to lose the group. "Man, fans are scary."

Dib hadn't expected to be pulled away from that which he had grown accustomed to, so he stumbled. As much as he was used to running around, jumping over things, and all around physical activity, being pulled around a convention hall by a teenager wasn't on that list. Dwicky's words had him raising a brow as soon as he found his footing, not ready to pull his arm back yet if the teen was so willing to help him. "So, what do you come here for? The scenery?" He rolled his eyes and focused on some of the booths they passed by. "I'm sure you weren't planning that whole little speech your whole way here, right? Nope, not at all."

Dwicky flushed and just quickened his footing, weaving past the lesser popular geeks with their more questionable home made costumes (mom did most of the work).

One of them pointed to Dib, "Wow! Look at his costume! So authentic."

Another scoffed, "Pffft, as if. His hair is SO not right. And his clothes... Ha! Dib wouldn't be caught dead in that tacky thing. I can see the glue."

Dwicky gripped the man's wrist tighter as he answered Dib,"Y-yea, well, uh- most of it was improv!" He looked about shifty-eyed. "M-most of it." He huffed. "You try talking to a celebrity without sounding like some creepy fanboy when the first two seconds of meeting someone makes a first impression." Dwicky's hand met his face as he rubbed it in frustration. " 'You look like crap,'" he mocked himself under his breath, speaking to himself. "What kind of first impression is that?" He pulled Dib to the outskirts of the crowded room.

"Actually, as blunt as it was, it was nice to hear something other than, 'Oh, Dib, you're so awesome!' or 'Mister Dib, you're so amazing! I loved when you slapped that alien with the giant squid. It was so cool!" Dib blinked his eyes at that, and turned his attention back to Dwicky. His voice was no longer imitating every fan that ever came near him. "So, yeah, I'd rather be told I look horrible than the usual greatness. It gets a little tiring." When he was sure things were safer, he pulled his arm back from the teen and rubbed at his wrist as he walked. "Be glad they didn't come after your blood."

Dwicky was too busy looking at his hand with awe. "...And I'll never wash this hand again," he paused and slowly looked to Dib. Noting his own actions, he quickly put his hand behind his back giving a wide grin of innocence. "Well then, you look like a hobo whose seen better days on a drinking binge." He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked forward quickly. "Mkay, not winning any prizes here." He pointed at the two door exit out, which was far across the room and in open territory: Dib was an easily noticeable target there. Dwicky was about to open his mouth when he was cut short by a small child that clung to Dib's coat tails, being dragged along as the man walked.

"I love you Dibbeh!"

Seemed he was an easy target period. Tall, dark and _cool_ didn't blend well in a huge sci-fi convention such as this.

Dib had been ready to respond to Dwicky's earlier words, but the sudden weight on his coat caused him to shut his mouth and turn his head. He stopped where he was and didn't look all too thrilled by the extra weight. For a few seconds he stayed silent before he looked up and a completely shocked expression came over his face as he pointed in the opposite direction of the door. "Oh my god! Is that the star of Galaxy Tears?! I-I think it is!" His eyes went wider as he piled it on. "And is she giving out free limited edition action figures?!" He let out a small gasp, "I think she is!"

All he had to do was wait.

"Really!? Where!?" the child and Dwicky spoke in unison. The child sprung up and immediately dashed into the crowd to find the female star. A few fans from the booths they stood in front of went running like cattle too.

Dwicky froze and blinked, turning to Dib closing one eye and pointing to him with warm cheeks. "That-- that was... _low_. Smart, but below the belt." He patted his black studded belt in gesture and stuck out his pierce-studded tongue.

Dib couldn't help grinning, especially at Dwicky's words. "Works every time." He turned his eyes back on the teenager, a small smile still on his lips as he spoke up. "You fans are just too easy. That's all there is to it." He shrugged his shoulders as he walked past the other and towards the exit doors now that the way was clear. "Nothing is going to stand in my way of getting a free meal."

Dwicky rolled his eyes and followed the man. He glanced back behind and his thick, dark brows raised. He tapped Dib's shoulder. "How about that group of girls dressed like the Supah Dupah Love Sugar Magical Elementy Girls back there?" Dwicky pointed behind them and the loud girlish squeal that followed echoed throughout the large convention hall.

Dib had to plug his ears with his fingers, but it really didn't help. As soon as he was sure it was safe, he dropped his hands and kept one squinted eye on the mob as he turned around to look at them. He moved his arms out to grab hold of Dwicky, and placed the teenager between him and the squealing fangirls. "If not an apprentice, you'll make a good shield."

"Hey-! N-now wait a tick!" Dwicky stammered as he held his hands out, as if that would be enough to keep the herd of screaming, giggling girls at bay. "You're the hero- not me!" He made several panicked noises, but the girls weren't stopping anytime soon. He backed up towards Dib, stumbling into the man. "I'm not trained to be a shield." He jerked around to face Dib, slamming hands into him to push him through the door to escape.

"C'mon girls- SUPAH SWEET FORMATION!" The girls in their rainbow-coloured, frilly dresses moved into an arrow formation as they chased, all flailing their arms in obscene poses.

Dib's eyes widened as the crazy girls ran after them both. With quick steps, he grabbed hold of Dwicky's arm, pulling the teen the last few steps towards the exit and out the doors. At the last second the door closed, stopping the creepy fangirls and almost causing them to ram their faces into the glass doors. It only caused Dib to grin, waving at them through the barrier as he kept his hold on Dwicky.

Dwicky placed a hand on his chest and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Turning his head, his eyes snapped wide as that breath caught in his throat. Right across from them were a group of fans slathered in green paint and squeezed into karate uniforms. They grunted long and hard while veins bulged in their foreheads as they strained to _power up_. Dwicky paled and tapped Dib on the shoulder, then pointed at the sight.

The commotion drew their attention, and then they saw Dib. Seeing and hearing such bulging, thick-necked males squeal with delight was a frightening scene that could be bested by no other in any of the known galaxies.

"Huh?" Dib turned his eyes towards where Dwicky pointed and his good mood was shot down instantly. He stuttered for a few seconds, trying to come up with something to say, but nothing really came to mind. Fans were very scary people who sucked out all of his intelligence, and it never really seemed to do them any good. Finally he leaned over to whisper near Dwicky's ear, having let go of the teen's arm as he did so. "I think now would be a very good time to start running."

The hair on the back of Dwicky's neck began to prickle, but it wasn't out of horror; at least not anymore. He slowly glanced at Dib and gave a slight nod. "...very fast." He snatched up Dib's hand and sprinted down a random corridor pulling Dib with him.

Dib was ready this time as he was yanked away. He kept in step with Dwicky, making sure not to fall behind the teen, even as he was pulled. He looked behind to see how close the creepy fans were and let out a noise. They were trying to catch up. "Not fast enough... Faster!" He passed the other, and yanked on Dwicky's arm in an attempt to lose the fans.

The Orbs of Martian Men fans grunted and in unison they stretched out their arms and let out a continuous low screaming groan that caused them to run faster. Even with the green paint, their faces were starting to turn crimson.

That in itself had Dwicky forcing himself to move faster in wide-eyed fear. "This is so incredibly wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! People are so much more terrifying than alien lifeforms!" Panic was rising in Dwicky's voice and he was desperate to find a quick way out. So he turned a sharp corner, snapping Dib along by his arm, into the first door he could find.

It was the womens washroom.

Tons of half dressing, gossiping, giggling, doodling, nose powdering, unexpecting females turned their attention as the two males came clambering in.

Boots screeched to a dead stop, and there was nothing but dead silence. Awkward...

After what felt like, and quite probably was, several hours, Dib raised a hand while trying his best to think of something to say. "Uhh...Um...Hmm!" Nothing, and with that he dropped his hand back down. Of course in his mind, women at a convention always meant squealing, giggling fangirls, and that thought only caused him to swallow hard while trying not to make it look like he was stepping back towards the door they had come in from.

Dwicky pointed at one girl. ".. Hey I know you, you go to my skool."

The girl, who had been slipping off her shirt to dress into a rather geeky ensemble, instantly went bright red in the face. "PERVERT!" She threw her shirt at him and she squeaked when she realized she had nothing more to cover her chest.

Dwicky let out a surprised noise as the t-shirt fell, covering his head.

"Get him!" one girl shouted.

Dwicky let out an even louder surprised noise from under the shirt.

"DIIIB!" the rest of the girls screamed in high pitched voices.

Dwicky turned sharply to run and smacked right into Dib with absolutely no grace whatsoever. He clung to the man's coat. "RUN! --again!"

"Right.." Dib grabbed onto one of Dwicky's arms. "Running!" He was out of the room as fast as he could go, not once daring to look back. He didn't know which was worse, the creepy, green martian fanboys or the squealing, excitable fangirls. They pretty much broke off even in his mind. Especially when he had to keep running away from them all.

The girls spilled out of the washroom, rushing to chase. As other random wandering people noted their apparel, or rather their lack thereof, they stopped with embarrassment colouring their faces. With groans and clawing hands at the air, they whined for Dib to come back.

Dwicky tripped over himself, unable to see where exactly he was going from under the shirt. He yanked it off and righted his staggering steps to follow Dib through the hall. Looking behind him he gave a relaxed sigh. "Ahh.. they aren't following. And those scary Orb fans seemed to have gotten their stupid selves lost."

That was all Dib needed to finally stop in his tracks. He let go of Dwicky's arm and tried to catch his breath as he leaned against a wall. He looked to the side and eyed the teen for a few seconds as he calmed down before he shook his head. "Are you sure you belong here?" Before Dib could get an answer out of the other, a noise to his side caused him to almost jump. He turned his head around to look and his eyes widened. Every single one of the kids near him were holding colored plastic tubes while wearing every shade of bathrobe, and Dib could only roll his eyes as well as plug his ears at the obscene sound effects the toys were making. One small thing caught his eye though, and he pointed to one kid in particular who didn't have the luxury of a novelty item. "Did you paint over a broom handle?" All the kid did was glare at him.

The teen beside Dib let out an exhausted groan as he rubbed his face, keeping his hand there as he peered through his fingers with one eye at the scene. It was hard not to show interest.

"Calm yourself, Noble Quiggly-jiggly." A stocky kid walked up to the angry boy. "That is not our way." The girl shook a finger in calm chastising. " 'Anger leads to madness' -"

" '-Madness leads to crazies' " Dwicky couldn't help but continue.

" '-And crazies lead to the dark corner of the Farce.' " the girl continued with a smile.

" 'But Master, how am I to defeat Dark-Dookie?' " Dwicky clapped his hands in mock plea.

" 'With this one ring'." The girl pulled a shoe string necklace with a plastic ring on it with gibberish writing scratched into it. "--'To rule them all!' "

" 'One circle to fool them all, one circular ball to spite them!' " Everyone chimed in.

Dwicky stopped and let out a horribly nervous laugh, blushing didn't help his embarrassment either. "You-you didn't hear that." He stepped back. "Or-or see.. or see that either." He stepped back until he was far out of Dib's vision, hiding behind him. There was a sound of a hand meeting a forehead, followed by a 'stupid!'. Dwicky leaned over peering past Dib's side. "See. I do belong here." He frowned and went back to being hidden behind the man's back.

Dib was pretty sure his brain had died somewhere in between the whole show. Suddenly having Dwicky behind him caused him to snap back to reality and turn his attention on the teen for a few seconds. Only then did he let out a groan and rub at his face with one hand. He turned around and started to walk away, no longer a shield for the other. "Screw this. I'll get my own food. You're all crazy."

"H-hey!" Dwicky raised a hand and waved it. "Don't leave your shiny new apprentice behind!" He pushed past the robed warriors of the Farce to follow after Dib, walking beside him. "'_Crazy_'. That's an interesting thing to say coming from a person like you." He glanced at Dib before shoving his hands in his pockets and watching the ground as he walked.

Dib glanced sideways at Dwicky and rolled his eyes as he kept walking. "I'm far from crazy. I'd say I'm one of the more rational and sane people in this building right now." He shrugged his shoulders. "I may take what I do seriously, but that doesn't make me crazy or as whacked out as some people." He let out a small sigh at finally having some peace as they walked towards the exit. "And you aren't my apprentice."

Dwicky loosely shrugged his shoulders. "It's the one place where people can come together to let themselves go and have a good time without the social norm weighing them down, beating them up or letting them hang wedgie-fied by the elastics of their underwear." He pointed a finger at Dib but didn't look at him as he continued to talk. "Not that I've read up on your personal history, and studied your works, or idolize you or anything, but.. people _did_ call you crazy." Dwicky tried to stifle a small chuckle. "Not that you are. Of course not." He couldn't help but grin Dib's way. "And I did help you escape the dungeon, and torture." He gestured to the exit. "At least give me a little credit."

Dib mumbled something that sounded very close to 'stalker' under his breath. He didn't go on about it and only kept walking, glancing at Dwicky one last time before he gave another sigh. "I guess I owe you something. Apprentice is a bit much, though. Besides, like I told you, I've never even considered something like that." When they reached the doors he held them open for Dwicky to go through before he went through them himself, digging for his keys after the door closed behind them. "I'm used to working alone and having an apprentice is more like babysitting."

"Then partner!" Dwicky blurted, walking backwards to face Dib. "With a partner- the babysitting goes both ways." He pointed left to right with both hands, his bracelets lightly clicking. "A partner can pull you out of tight jams, like back there. Two heads are better than one when it comes to a difficult situation.. like back there. I've had experience in the field. Ghosts, spooks, apparitions, demons, phantoms, poltergeists, devils, wraiths, zombies, shadow men, --boogie men! I've studied up on extraterrestrials. Were-people. Uhh. Mutants. C'mon, sir, Dib-sir." Dwicky slowed down and in affect stopped Dib. ".. Give me a chance." He tapped the man's chest lightly over his heart.

Dib moved his free hand up to grab onto Dwicky's wrist, gaining his personal space back when he pulled the teen's hand away. "Somehow I have a feeling you won't stop bugging me until I say yes to anything you ask, either way." He dropped Dwicky's hand and shook his head. "I know I won't like this idea. I've been perfectly happy doing things on my own." He stayed silent for a little bit, but finally dropped his eyes back down as he twirled his keys around a finger. "First of all, stop calling me sir. I am not going to be able to stand hearing that through a whole partnership. I hear it enough already."

Dwicky's eyes grew wide, absolutely wide. " 'Partnership'. " he echoed. " ... I think I just forgot how to breathe." He sucked in a large breath and wheezed his next words. "One- one minute, s-- Dib." He raised a finger and rushed around a corner of the building. Loud squeals, hoots and celebratory noises could be heard, along with bouncing and jumping, followed by a good load of Yes! Yes! Yes!'s. Dwicky then came back, calm as can be, but with the widest grin across his face ever to be seen. "Thank you, Dib." The boy grinned wider, if that was possible. "I've got your back, _partner_." He offered a friendly ring adorned hand to shake.

Dib raised a brow, but he still couldn't help the small smirk on his face. "Right..." He lifted his hand and shook the one offered to him. Once that was done, he let go and toyed with his keys once more as he turned to walk towards the parking lot. "Well, since you said you took the bus to get here, then we're taking my car. I refuse to ride the bus right now when the convention is in town. It's probably worse than the convention."

Dwicky gave that some thought; the mental image wasn't a good one and he nodded. "Good plan." He sighed oh so happily to himself while petting the hand that Dib had shaken. ".. and I'll never wash this hand again either." He held his wrist, looking at his hand over. Quickly he darted his eyes around and when Dib wasn't looking he licked his hand. "It's almost like ki-- no- bad Dwicky. No acting weird in front of the Dib." Dwicky quickly shook his head and followed Dib to his car. Though as he approached the car a pleased dreamy look settled on his face. "..I'm gunna be driving in Dib's car." he murmured happily to himself. Quickly he shook his head again. "I'm working on getting my drivers license, actually." He quickly spoke up to Dib, hoping the other didn't catch anything he did.

Dib had been too busy looking over his car as soon as they got close enough to make sure none of the extreme fans had taken to stealing parts off of it. When Dwicky spoke up, it almost startled Dib and he turned around after poking at one of the mirrors on the sleek black car to make sure it was still in place. "Well, that's no big deal. You won't be the one driving anyway." He pointed towards the passenger side. "You can just ride around with me until I find us a decent place to stop and grab something at." He waved a hand. "I'm not going to make you pay for anything expensive. I'll make sure you have money left over for the convention. I just want something to satisfy me for the time being."

Dwicky glanced to the side as Dib got in the car, a rather catty look as his mind stopped at 'satisfy me'. "Heh heh.. suuure. I'll satisfy you." He opened the door and crawled in, closing it after. He wiggled in the seat, his wallet chain jingling with the action. "Uwww. Cozy. Roomy." He tapped his booted feet. "Don't worry about the money. I don't need any stupid merchandise to keep me happy." Dwicky waved a hand dismissively. "Not when I have the real authentic thing." He pulled his seat belt on with a click, bouncing a little. He stopped and looked at Dib. "... That came across as a little spooky didn't it?" Dwicky tried to smile.

Dib nodded his head at the question. "Pretty much." He started the car up and proceeded to back out of the parking lot as soon as he had it in reverse. "I'm used to it all, though, so it doesn't really bug me that much anymore. I mean, of course it does when I'm being chased around a convention. Being told certain things...that's fine." He shrugged as he put the car in drive and went on down the street. "There's a lot of it I'm sick of. Hearing it every once in a while I guess wouldn't be so bad, but having people fawn over me day in and day out just gets annoying." He glanced at Dwicky and smiled a little. "And yeah, spooky."

Dwicky tapped his fingers together and glanced at Dib before looking back to them. ".. Well, I guess it's hard to say something new that hasn't already been said or praised about. It may sound redundant after a while but.. uh." He shrugged his arms. "It just means you're doing a good job.. so.. to speak, yeah." He fidgeted some more. "But hey, if you don't wanna talk about you, we could talk about me. Ooor, we could just leave it at 'Dwicky'." He gave a tiny nervous chuckle. "Whatever you'd like."

Dib shook his head as he kept his eyes on the road. "Actually, it would be nice to hear about someone other than myself for a change." He nodded his head towards Dwicky since his hands were occupied on the steering wheel at the moment. "Go ahead, tell me about yourself. I mean, it's obvious you're into the paranormal. You've told me that. But, I just want to know about you." When they hit a stop light, Dib leaned back in the seat and turned his eyes away to give his full attention to Dwicky for a little bit. "This is the chance you've wanted, right? Just spill whatever you want about yourself."

Dwicky opened his mouth, but the pressure of Dib's words left nothing coming out. He tried again but all that came was a nervous squeak. The gravity of the situation was finally weighing heavily upon him. He stuttered for a few and scratched his head. "Uhhhh... hi! My name is Dwicky." He ended that with a smile and a small 'eh-heh'. He then went silent and hung his head. "Oh yea, blew that chance."

Dib had to laugh at that. It couldn't really be helped. He turned his eyes ahead once more and kept them on the light, waiting for it to change as he spoke up after his laughter. "You need to calm down. Just act as if you were talking to someone you normally talked to. Like, one of your friends or family." The light changed and he paused a moment to start down the street again. "We're going to be working together, so you need to get used to that. I'm just an average person. Please treat me like one." He sounded desperate there.

Dwicky ran a hand through his long bangs but they fell back down all the same. "Right, okay. Gotcha." He pointed at Dib with a grin. "You're the boss." He fiddled with one of his string bracelets in thought. "Let's see.. I'm seventeen. I go to the local skool down in town. My favorite colour is green. My favorite food is taco salad. I hate pop culture but I love the fashion. My main interests are aliens, U.F.O.s and their propaganda. Sometimes I just sit on my roof all day and stare at the stars hoping to catch a glimpse of some kinda space shipy thingy. I have a really ugly website that has random dancing alien on it where I put up all my findings. But, uh.. like I said. I suck at notes." He cleared his throat. "I like alternative music, sci-fi movies of almost any kind and horror movies make me squeamy. I also like kittens, foxes, hate the taste of turkey. I have three piercings in my left ear, four in my right, one in my eyebrow, tongue, belly button; I'm thinking of a tattoo; _no_ I'm not a masochist, and I like it hot and hard up against a wall." He clapped his hands together on his lap and smiled pleasantly, done.

Dib nodded his head a bit as he listened to each thing Dwicky said. The last little thing the teen threw out, though, caused his eyes to widen and his attention to snap over to the other instead of on the road where it should have been. "Uh, what was that?" A loud horn came from outside the car and Dib turned his attention back to the road just in time to see that he was in the wrong lane. He let out a loud curse as he swerved back into his own lane, avoiding the car that had been in front of him and ignoring the gesture they made at him.

"And I don't own any pets." Dwicky quickly answered, clinging to his seat belt across his chest. "Yea.. -no pets for me!" He looked at Dib. "None. Nadda. Zip. Zilch. I'm not home enough to take care of one." He gave half a smile, hoping Dib bought it. "Nice driving."

Dib was still trying to get his breathing under control, but he had heard Dwicky's words. As soon as he settled down enough, Dib rolled his eyes not at all convinced. "Sure, whatever you say." He glanced to the side at the teen very quickly, making sure to pay more attention to the road this time. "You're a very bad liar. You might want to work on that."

Dwicky shrugged. "I'm more for the truth myself: finding the truth, proving the truth. Lying is what made the cover ups for the unknown anyway." He let out a sigh and flopped back in the chair, placing a hand over his head. "Besides, partners should know everything and anything about each other." He drabbled his fingers on his chest. "And since I already know a good bit about you, I certainly have nothing to hide." The teen glanced out his window.

Dib shook his head at the answer. He couldn't help reaching over to ruffle up Dwicky's hair, trying to get the teen to lighten up and stop acting so serious all of a sudden. "Well, while that's good to know, maybe the little bit about how hot and hard you like it should remain a secret." He took his hand back and placed it on the steering wheel again. "Unless of course you know something like that about me that I should know about." He became a little disturbed at that thought. "Now that's spooky."

Dwicky huffed, fluttering dark hair that had fallen into his eyes at the ruffle, but he reacted as Dib had predicted and smiled. "No, unfortunately all the magazines, biographies, newspapers and other media don't supply those little nuggets of information." He laughed a little at himself and just how open he was at the moment. "I guess there are still some things about you that remain a mystery to the world. Although," Dwicky drew out the word, "what people don't know they'll just make up." He couldn't help the grin. "People write all kinds of interesting 'stories' about you, ya know. Not that I've read them of course. But, uh.. yea- people put you in the most," he quickly cleared his throat, "interesting of _positions_ with their own characters. So to speak."

Dib groaned, and if he could have, he would have crawled in a hole and never bothered to leave. Sadly, he was the one driving. "I worry about you fans sometimes. I really do." He shook his head and let out another noise before he turned his attention back to the road. Only after a few moments did he finally pull into the parking lot of a small fast food restaurant. He found a decent parking spot and shut off the car, pocketing the keys once the engine was off. "Now, hopefully I'll be able to eat in peace," he mumbled as he got out of the car. "Wishful thinking, I'm sure."

"Wait!" Dwicky put his hands out to halt Dib. "A celebrity going into a dinky little grease bin equals peace? Highly unlikely. You'll be lucky to take one bite of your burger while signing napkins all day." He rubbed his hands together. "You," he pointed at Dib, "should go- INCOGNITO!" He brandished the girl's shirt that had been thrown on his face before: it was white and had a ladybug printed on the front. "No one suspects the ladybug." He made the shirt dance.

Dib looked back and forth between Dwicky and the shirt. Up and down, multiple times until he was sure he was going to get dizzy. His eyes stopped on the teen and he raised a brow. His arms crossed over his chest and he couldn't help the amused look that came over his face. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope!" Dwicky grinned wider.

Dib looked back at the shirt for a bit before he finally reached out to grab it. "I can't believe this." He shrugged off his coat, freeing a hand to throw it in the back seat. Next to come off was his shirt, which followed the coat into the back seat as well. He went about tugging on the small shirt. It took a few tries, but he finally got his head and arms through. After it was done, he looked down at himself and tugged at a sleeve. "I look ridiculous."

Dwicky didn't seem to hear, he had a very dreamy look on his face. "... I just saw Dib topless." He fanned himself with one hand before he clasped both of them together. "My life is complete. I can die happy now." He melted back. He paused and glanced to Dib who was staring at him. "Er- ignore that.. whole- thingy," he twirled a finger, "... just now." Quickly Dwicky sat up and dug something out of his pocket; a Geekasmic ball cap, which he promptly put on Dib's head to hide the zig-zaggy scythe-lock atop his head. "There! _Now_ you look ridiculous! The masterpiece is complete!"

Dib gave the other an annoyed look as the cap was placed on his head. He knew it had to be done, but it didn't mean he had to like it. "Gee, thanks." He looked out of the window towards the restaurant and his body seemed to slump. "Well, might as well get this over with. Whatever ends up happening..." Once more Dib moved to exit the car, closing the door behind him and waiting for Dwicky.

Dwicky got out of the car and headed to the fast food joint with Dib. "You should have an incognito name too. Hmm. How about 'Bid?'" He cackled to himself as he wiggled his fingers. "See, Dwicky doesn't translate as good backwards. Ee-kewwduh. Yeaa, no. Lucky for me, I'm not famous... yet!" He looked Dib over, grinning wider at the less than impressed look Dib was giving him. "Don't you look precious." He held the door open for the man. "After you, boss."

Dib gave the other a sideways glance as he entered the restaurant. "Do you ever calm down? I mean at all?" Despite the words, Dib still couldn't help grinning, not meaning anything bad by them. As soon as he was inside, he looked around and let out a relieved sound when he noticed the small queue near the front. It meant that he would be able to get his food quickly. The amount of people already eating didn't really bug him since Dwicky had thought up the clever disguise. Of course, whether it worked was another story.

They stood in line and Dwicky pulled out his wallet again to thumb through his currency. "So, what wouldja like? Order as much as you like. I'm good for it." He glanced up with a smile. "I'm thinking about going vegetarian myself. Not that one not eating meat can really protest against the disgusting treatment of livestock.. but because I had a bad experience with poultry once. Turkey.. yeah- don't ask.. It's probably healthier too on a few levels, but I love the taste of cow so- omnivorous I stay."

Dib nodded his head a little with each word Dwicky said. He gave up halfway through trying to speak, and just let the teen talk all he wanted. When they were next in line, Dib moved a hand out to place it on Dwicky's mouth, trying his best to silence the other for at least the moment. "It's our turn. Try and focus on ordering, then go back to talking about yourself." He let his hand fall away and looked back at the menu. Still deciding on what he wanted.

Dwicky nodded, eyes wide as his cheeks warmed over in embarrassment. "S-sorry." he whispered.

"Welcome to McMeaties home of the meat on meat sandwich and brand new crunchy meat milk shake. Nice to meat you, what can I get you?" a greasy looking teen behind the counter greeted them.

"... Bid just touched my lips." Dwicky stared happily into nothingness.

The cashier just looked at him funny.

A kid behind them in the line up pointed at Dib. "Mommy isn't that-?"

"Hush! Don't point at strange looking men." the woman quieted him.

Dib flinched at the words spoken behind him, but he tried to ignore them. It was a close enough call and he hoped not to have to deal with another one anytime soon. He turned his attention away from the menu and down to the person behind the counter, deciding on what he had wanted, and just wanting to get out of the line. "I'll have a double pork deluxe and a small order of fries." He elbowed Dwicky in the side in an attempt to get the teen to pay attention once more.

"McBeefy and a large cola, please and thanks." Dwicky nodded sagely.

The cashier rung it up and in seconds the order was given to them on a tray, which Dwicky took as he headed to a table. The teen plopped down and grabbed his burger, unwrapping it to eat; although he didn't just yet. He was far more interested in watching Dib eat. Trying his best not to stare, he instead busied himself with sipping his drink.

Dib wasted no time digging into his own food, and he paid no mind to Dwicky. He hadn't eaten since early morning, and even then he had only been able to eat a small breakfast bar. While he held onto his sandwich, his other hand dug into his fries, taking out a few to chew on and licking the seasoning off of his fingers afterwards. He felt eyes on him and immediately looked up, chewing slowly at first, but quickly trying to remedy that so he could speak. "What?"

"Nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all." Dwicky waved a hand. It certainly wasn't the fact he was eating with his hero, and one of the most well known people ever: the defender of the entire planet. Newp, it couldn't be that. "I'm keeping quiet, letting you eat. Chow down. Eat your fill." He picked up his burger and ate.

Dib shrugged and took a bite out of his sandwich. The silence came back until he he swallowed another bite. "I have to admit that you aren't half as bad as most of the people that come to see me." He set his sandwich down and poked at it instead. "You're actually quite tolerable. Amusing would be a good word." He let his hand fall to the table and looked to Dwicky. "Are you sure you're going to be able to do a partnership kind of thing, though? I mean, you're a teenager. You have skool, parents, and other such things to worry about, right?"

"Skool is only six hours of my time wasted five days a week. There are weekends. And my parents leave me well enough alone. They keep telling me I'm crazy and that I should stop with this 'paranormal Bee Ess.'" Dwicky made quote fingers, lowering them back down to drum along the edge of the table. "Everyone says I'm crazy.. so, I have a lot of free time on my hands to do what I like." It was a kinder way of saying he had no real friends. Dwicky shrugged. "But that just makes my research easier with no one to bug me all the time." He chewed on his lip ring a moment, running his tongue along it before he spoke again. "So I'm free every day." He gave a more hopeful look. "Completely able. Hell, you can pull me right out of class if you need me. It's not like they're teaching me anything worth learning," Dwicky scoffed. "We dissected a bean last class. A bean! There's nothing worth seeing inside a _bean_." Dwicky cleared his throat, "... so I kind of ate mine. Got kicked out of class so I could spy on the janitor. No one believes me, but he's really a vampire pirate ghost here to scour out his long lost treasure buried somewhere on the skool grounds." Dwicky blinked and looked away, quickly grabbing his drink to sip on.

Dib picked up a fry and moved it from side to side as he spoke up. "Sounds familiar." He shrugged his shoulders. "But, you know every little thing about my life, so, I'm sure you knew that already." He popped the fry in his mouth. "It's good that you're eager about what you believe in. I can't shoot that down or else I would just be shooting down everything I'm for. I guess I'm just being a little cautious about the whole thing. I can't even remember the last time I worked with anyone, which means it was years ago." He leaned back in his chair while keeping his eyes on the other. "I don't want you to regret it either. Sometimes it can be annoying." The earlier events came back to him. "Really annoying."

Dwicky looked around, then drummed both hands on the table. "Newp, I'm good." He grinned widely before folding his hands together, ready and eager.

Dib kept his eyes on the other for a few moments before he finally gave in and leaned forward once more. "Alright then." He reached over and grabbed Dwicky's drink. He forgot to get his own. He removed the lid so he could drink from the cup and placed it back on once he was finished. "You do realize that after we're done here, I have to go back to the convention and finish signing, right? This time the only difference is you'll be standing near me instead of in line." He picked up his sandwich. "Of course, I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to hide out. I might just do that for a while myself."

"You don't have to worry, I'll keep you company. What are partners for, if not to keep each other entertained during times of utter boring crisis?" Dwicky ate a bite of his burger before he went on. "You know what you need? A rubber stamp with your signature on it. Just slam it onto people's merchandise one after the other. Of course, you'd have to keep a safe eye on it so the forces of evil, _obsessive fans_, don't steal it and ... and.. okay so it's not practical." He reached over and stole a few fries from Dib, stuffing them into his mouth with a grin. "That's for the cola stealing."

Dib pointed at the cup. "I thought my mouth on a plastic cup would have been more than enough to make you happy." A small smirk came to his lips. "You could sell it on the internet for a good amount of cash." He finished off his sandwich and balled up the paper it came in. "Or, you could put it in a shrine. Don't all of you fans have one of those?" It was fun to tease.

Dwicky's eyes adverted. "Nooo." He cleared his throat. "Besides, you said to treat you like a normal person. And a fries for cola trade is fair game. Anyway, doing something like that would be extortion, an abuse of my position with you." Dwicky stared. Wait, that last part didn't sound right. "I'm the honest one, member?" He took his drink, holding it in both hands as he looked down at it. He took a sip from it and got that same look he's had in line. "... Dib makes the cola taste better."

Dib pointed a finger at the teen. "That's creepy. You're creepy, Dwicky." He leaned back once more, keeping his eyes on the other as if Dwicky would suddenly pounce on him at any given moment. "At any rate, it's going to be nice to have at least someone around while I deal with everyone at the convention." He moved a hand up to scratch at the cap; the material was starting to annoy him a bit. "Finally someone sane to talk to while I'm there. Well, halfway sane." He grinned a little.

Dwicky pouted around the straw. He put the drink down. "Hey I'd like to see you try to act un-creepy and sane around _your_ idol. Hmm. I could throw myself at you if you really want. Shower you with compliments. Faaawwwn. Ask you the same stupid fan questions, day in and day out." He chuckled and remembered he had a burger to eat.

"That's okay. I'll pass." Dib moved a hand out to pick up the last few fries, speaking only after he was done chewing on them. "I may get used to all of the compliments and screaming, but being called someone's idol is something I'll never get used to. It still feels weird." He rested an elbow on the table so he could lay his chin on a hand. "Not that it isn't enjoyable. I'm flattered at such a thing, really. It's just hard to come to terms with the fact that people look up to me so much. I just do what I do."

"Don't you have an idol? Or- used to have an idol when you were a wee little Dib? er- Bid. I'm sure they felt the same way. And I'm sure you would have acted the same way as your fans do around whoever it was," Dwicky grinned and winked. "Am I right?" He took another bite of his burger.

Dib thought about it for a moment and nodded after a bit. "You're right." He stared at Dwicky for a moment before a slow grin came to his lips. "I wasn't always this jaded, ya know. I used to love every little tiny bit of praise that came my way. Even if it was the most embarrassing." He waved a hand dismissing all of those thoughts. "Then it got to a point where I wanted to push all of it onto someone else. Especially when they started on that movie." He snorted and looked away. "They _wish_ I went out with that super model. Such a bunch of bull."

Dwicky swallowed what he was chewing. "Hey, she was hot. I think I saw her on a shampoo commercial once." He picked up a napkin and wiped his mouth. "You could go out with a super model if you wanted. Hell, you probably already have." He blinked honestly curious now. "Have you? Heh, perks of the job.. everyone throws themselves at you." He scratched the side of his head glancing away at his own remark. Tossing the napkin on the table he looked back to Dib. "Must be tough." He gave a weak grin.

"Everyone throws themselves at me for the sake of being in some form of spotlight." Dib shook his head and straightened up. "I don't really bother with relationships for just that reason. I mean, I tried a few times. They never really ended very well." He looked back at Dwicky. "Of course I'm sure you already knew all of this, and I'm probably just boring you with little tidbits of my personal life, now." He smiled a bit.

Dwicky gave a sheepish look. "Maybe.. er- not maybe you're boring me but maybe I've had a look at a bit of media. But it's more what you've done and not who that I've been interested in." He shoved the rest of his burger in his mouth before he incriminated himself more. Of course it didn't go down as easy and he patted his chest with a fist before he chased it down with large mouth full of cola. "Ah. Better." And then thanks to carbonation, he let loose a loud belch which caused many a customer to stare at him. He sunk lower in his seat. "...scuse me."

Dib tried to hide his laughter behind a hand. He gave up trying to stay quiet after a while, and dropped his hand. Only after he got himself under control did he speak up, "Well, it certainly won't be dull having you around. That's for sure." He let out another quiet laugh as he leaned back and draped his arms over the back of his chair. "I have a lot of work to catch up on. There's some things I've been putting off that really need to get done. After the convention, depending on how late it is, I might bring you by my place so you can see what sort of cases you'll be helping me with."

Dwicky sat up. "Your place? As in- your house? As in- where you live? As in- me walking over the threshold and into your home- with couches, beds and counters?" He made a happy little sound as he swayed from side to side. "Erm. Yea. So- what kind of stuff? What kind of cases?" He scootched closer to the table and leaned forward.

Dib looked up at the ceiling of the restaurant as he tried to remember the pile of papers he had back home. "There's this one I was supposed to look into a couple of weeks ago. A guy thinks his boat is haunted by some sort of five hundred year old fish. Then I have a case of someone saying they picked up a vampire rabbit and they want me to come check it out. I have to get a few more details out of them before anything, though." He looked back at Dwicky and gave a weak smile. "Sorry it's not as exciting as the movies and all those comics made it out to be."

"Your own personal propaganda, I understand. Might as well start small and work up." Dwicky gestured upward. "Paranormal investigator training wheels. It can't all be glamorous." He crossed his arms on the table and rested his chin on them. "A glimmer of truth in any of them? I wouldn't mind hearing some real stories." He rested his cheek on his arms, peering up at Dib attentively.

"Oh, plenty of them have truths." Dib's smile grew a little and he leaned forward as well. "There's one case I work on. Sort of off and on. I guess it's the reason you could say most of my work piles up. It's the biggest truth of all." He shrugged as if he were speaking of something completely normal. "I never have much luck with him. At the last moment he always slips through my fingers." Dib realized he was being completely vague, but in a restaurant full of people that knew him by name it was better that way. "I can show you what I'm talking about if we get a chance to go to my place. I'm sure it'll be something that will interest you."

Dwicky's brows rose with interest. "'Him?'" He made a thoughtful sound. "How long have you been working on this case?"

Dib cringed at that and sat back once more. "Before it was even a case." He pointed at Dwicky. "I was only a couple of years younger than you when I started obsessing over it. Therefore, at the time, I wasn't even famous. So, I was only going about things my own way. Pretty much how you are, I'm sure." He let his hand rest on the table as he went on, keeping his eyes on it instead of Dwicky. "Once I got all of this recognition, I treated the 'case' as top priority. Whatever I didn't feel needed to be done at the time, or just wasn't that important, I chased after what I wanted to instead."

The teen's eyes grew wider around. "Hmmmmm! A life's work. Something that hasn't been recorded, talked about, written about, drawn, filmed or pantomimed. I'm shocked." He grinned wide. "And feel special. Must be something of great importance, especially if you've dedicated over ten years of your life to it." He gave a small guilty chuckle. "... I glanced at a magazine article.. they mentioned your stats." He cleared his throat. "A secret case, wow. Sexy." He added with an eager whisper "Tell me more."

Dib looked back up and couldn't really help grinning. He lifted his hand back up to wag a finger at the teenager across from him as he shook his head. "No, sorry. You're just going to have to wait." He dropped his hand to the table again as he leaned forward enough to whisper near Dwicky. "I've kept it a secret for so long. I'd like to keep it a secret for even longer. Weird get up or not, the minute any sort of information comes spewing from my mouth someone might hear it. I don't want to chance that." He sat back, but stood up with the action. "I'm sure you have some patience."

Dwicky pouted in disappointment. "Sadly." He unfolded his arms to grab at the edge of the table and stretch. With a satisfied noise the teen stood, grabbed his drink and gave his side a good scratch. "You do realize you have to wear that going back in. Otherwise you're going to get pounced on, huggled and glomped again." Dwicky poked what little bit of Dib's middle showed from the bottom of the shirt with a happy little noise.

Dib rolled his eyes as he groaned. "Don't remind me." He pushed Dwicky's hand away and eyed the boy for a second before he went on. "As horrible a disguise as it is, every little bit helps I, guess." He pointed at the other for a second as he went on. "You can handle my coat until I get back to the table. If I carry the thing around or even wear it, then people are going to automatically know it's me." He stepped away from the table, picking up the trash to dump it out as he did. "At least with you lugging it around, wearing it, or whatever, people will just think you're another fanboy."

It didn't take long for a wide, lazy grin to spread across Dwicky's face. "... a very happy fan boy." His expression grew lewder. "... who needs a change of pants." He took a long healthy sip from his drink, and turned to head out the door.

A disturbed look crossed Dib's face at that. "You're gonna need to work on that." With those words, he held the door open before heading out towards his car. The idea of going back to where all of the crazy and scary fans hung out didn't appeal to him, but it was something he had to do. At least with present company it would be more tolerable, and that's all he needed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Fanboy**

By Kitteh and NeoFox

**Rating** R

**Warnings** Fanboys and girls, violence, gore, swearing and plenty of gay fun

**Disclaimer** Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim. So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM! We just want to borrow Dwicky and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.

**Summary** AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.

**Beta** Heartless7

Chapter 02

It was later in the day when the same black car from earlier pulled into a long driveway outside of the city. When the car finally stopped, it was in front of a brick building that seemed and was almost certainly much larger than a normal home. There were windows all along the front and probably even more on either side. The pointed roof gave the building the impression that it was quite tall, but in reality it was actually very wide.

As soon as the key was out of the ignition Dib stepped out of the car, shutting the door behind him. The rest of the convention had gone comparatively smoother than earlier and it had put him in a better mood. Once it was all over-- for the day-- he locked himself in one of the bathrooms and changed back into his normal clothes as quick as he could. There was only so much of that disguise he could take.

"Remember what we talked about on the way here." The words came as soon as he heard the other door open. "No freaking out, right?" He turned his attention to the other side of the car, watching as Dwicky got out. "Me? Freak out? Pffft. Noooo. I'm perfectly solid." Dwicky leaned against the car and grinned over at Dib. "Grounded. Realistic. I already did my 'freaking out' when we pulled into your runway-sized driveway. It's out of my system. I---"

Dwicky dead panned, as he had walked away from the car and into a colossal shadow. "Um, Dib... your ego seems to be encased in marble and standing erect at about- oh" he clicked his tongue, estimating, "a hundred feet." He pointed to the statue, which seemed to be strategically placed for awe inspiration: a very likeness of Dib in a heroic pose, pointing to the stars. Dwicky made grabby-fingers at it. "... I want one."

Dib slapped a hand over his face. "Please don't remind me. But then it's kind of hard to forget the thing when I have to look at it every time I walk outside." He let his hand drop as he started to walk towards the imposing wooden doors that led into the foyer. "I can't believe I thought it would be a good idea to have that thing built." He moved his keys to unlock one of the doors. "If you ever get famous never let your ego decide things for you. You'll regret the decisions it makes later. Trust me."

Dib face fell when he saw Dwicky clinging to the middle of the statue- an impressive feat, he noted. Dwicky blinked, just catching what Dib was saying. "Huh? Well, you could donate it to charity, or orphans or... if you don't want it- I'll take it! I'll clean it, and polish it, and take reeeally good care of it, I promise!" Dwicky paused, going red, and then climbed down. "That.., that totally wasn't me 'freaking out' just now. Nope. It wasn't. " He jogged back over to Dib's side. "That was… Art appreciation. Very, very nice." He cleared his throat and nodded.

Dib simply rolled his eyes as he unlocked the door and opened it wide. To him, everything in his place was fairly normal, but he knew what would happen when Dwicky saw it and that's why he specifically told the teen not to freak out. There wasn't a room inside the house safe from the mass paperwork or just weird paranormal nic naks that Dib had collected over the years. Even the large foyer area they stood in had a small little alien on the wall which Dib placed his keys on. He tried his best to act as if the house wasn't anything special, but it really was no use. Every room could have just been it's own home, a few of them being completely empty. Trying to make his life seem normal wasn't going to work well, if at all.

Dwicky whistled and the sound echoed, and that sound echoed and that sound echoed. "... Your foyer is about as big as my _house_." His eyes grew wider with each thing he ran his gaze over. He pointed and named a few things he recognized; foot prints, rocks from space, battle trophies. He was seeing everything that was Dib in person. It had Dwicky bouncing on his toes as he tried to keep his 'freaking out' in. He clapped his hands over his mouth, but it did little to keep the excited sounds from slipping between his fingers. The further he walked into the house, the more he bounced; poking things with one hand while he kept the other over his mouth.

Dib watched for a few moments while he leaned against a nearby wall. The sight was amusing and he couldn't help the quiet laugh that came from him while he watched the teen jump about. Finally, he moved away from the wall and walked towards Dwicky. He moved ahead of the squealing fanboy, grabbed something off of a nearby desk and set it aside while still managing to poke the back of the teen's head in the process. "I know you can't hold it in so stop trying. Yell, scream, do whatever. Just don't break anything in the process." He shook his head as he turned to his computer.

Dwicky removed his hand from his mouth and clapped his hands together. "IT'S ALL SO NEAT!" His voice reverberated into the mansion-like house, making him wince apologetically. "... Oops. Sorry." he quickly whispered, hunkering down. He slunk over to a pile of folders that looked as if they might fall over. Picking up a folder he sifted through it. "Ohhhhhh. You take such neat and pretty notes. All labeled so nicely--PHOTOS!" Dwicky brandished evidence photos of blurry somethings. "I love photos. So much more better than the written word." He went through the pictures, gaping at some and chuckling at others. "Heh heh... sea monkeys... So delightful."

The loud shout didn't really seem to bug Dib. The whole time Dwicky nosed through the folder Dib had sat down at his computer and typing could immediately be heard once it completely booted up. "That folder is a little old. I need to reorganize a lot of this stuff, but I never get around to it. Surprising how organized the actual notes are, isn't it? That's probably because I have to do that part of the work on my own." He gave a quick shrug. "There are some more photos buried around here. You're welcome to look at them while I dig up that one case I was telling you about."

"No need to tell me, nosing around is my job." Dwicky stepped over some piles of paper, walking into a thicket of files and notebooks of all sorts of cases that Dib had done through his life time. There he plunked himself down on the floor, unseen by the vast piles around. "Uw! This looks interesting. And this. And this. Oh! I gotta read this." The boy gasped. "Franken-pickle! I heard about this! Oh-- and this too!" Dwicky piled the files on his lap, eagerly going through them.

The excited little noises and random words were a nice change from the gnawing silence Dib worked in all the time. Only once or twice did he glance back to see what Dwicky was looking through, but he never stopped him. It was more just to see what had him so interested. After a while Dib finally found what he wanted and waved Dwicky over towards the desk. "Come over here and see what I've been hiding from the world."

Dwicky's head shot up from behind the mountain of papers. Quickly he crawled over, staggering onto his feet to hop over the mess, nearly toppling over to Dib's computer. "Show, show, show, show me." He settled his chin on Dib's shoulder to peer over it at the screen. "What magical secret has wondrous Dib been keeping from ze public?"

Dib whipped his head to look at Dwicky, ready to tell him to get off his shoulder. After a moment's hesitation he gave in and turned his attention back to the computer screen, since no real harm was being done. His hand fell to the screen where he pointed to a small picture in the corner of what either of them could have easily identified as an alien life-form. "You want a real truth, that right there is one of the biggest ones." His hand dropped to the mouse and he moved the cursor over a few bits of information in other corners of the screen. "Pictures, videos, audio recordings. You name it and I have it. I've taken so many notes on him. It's the main reason I have to keep building onto my computer."

Dwicky's jaw would have dropped but it was already planted on the man's shoulder. "A real, live, ALIEN!?" He slammed his hands on Dib's chair to stand up and peer closer to the screen. "That's AMAZING! So much data! So much- so much _truth_!" He began to wobble from the sight. "I knew it! I knew they were real! And you have proof right there! Here!" He tapped the screen with a finger. Dwicky bounced on the balls of his toes. "An alien, Dib! A _real_ alien!" He squealed gleefully and threw his arms around the man's neck to hug him in celebration; despite the fact it was Dib's life time work and evidence that proved it. "I can't believe it! I believe it! I'm totally believing it! Aliens exist!" Dwicky paused in his clinging hug as he looked back to the screen. He relinquished a hand and pointed to the picture. "Hey wait, I know that neighborhood. That's _our_ neigborhood." Dwicky dug his fingers into Dib's coat in absolute shock. "There's an _alien_ in _our_ town-- on Earth!? _Our_ Earth!?"

Dib had been expecting anything, but a full on hug was not one of those things. It caused him to give a sideways glance to Dwicky until the teen loosened his hold. The few random questions Dwicky let out had Dib looking back to the screen and nodding his head. Not once did he tell the other to let go. Dwicky would only go back to clinging to him later on at some point. "An alien on Earth, yes. He used to attend Skool with me and that's where I started keeping tabs on him and not really focusing on any other big paranormal activity." He clicked around bringing up a few more photos that had been taken years back. "Nearly ten years worth of research and still going."

Dwicky looked at each thing brought up with fascination, never tearing his eyes from the screen. "Wait-a-tick- 'and still going'? This alien is still on Earth? Why haven't you captured him yet? Interrogated him- about his people, his civilization, his planet? Opened him up and seen how his crazy alien insides work? As mind-rapingly great and completely selfullfilling to an orgasm to be proven that all along I've been right, and see all this information and above all a great honor that you'd show me and no one else--- uh.. why no one else? And why-- why keep it secret? You've blown other paranormal cases out of their shallow waters. Why not this too? And.. what is this-" Dwicky narrowed his eyes and read the caption- " 'Z-Zim' buggy doing on Earth anyway? And for so long? The pizza can't be _that_ good."

Dib raised a brow at Dwicky's choice of words, but said nothing about it. Instead he went about explaining himself as best he could to the teen. "Everything you see on this computer would never be enough to prove anything about Zim. You should know by now that videos, pictures… those kinds of things are never enough to satisfy the people that don't believe." He leaned back in the chair, leaving space for Dwicky to look all he wanted at each file that was brought up so far as he went on speaking. "People like us, we're happy to just see the smallest amount of proof, but until the real thing is captured and brought before everyone then it really means nothing. I kept this part of my life a secret for just that reason. I don't want this small… obsession, I guess you could say, brought out until I can capture the real thing for myself." He looked to the side at Dwicky. "As for why he's here, well, it's a bit of a dangerous sort of situation. I really don't know if I should tell you _that_ part."

"B-but he's dancing in that video. Without his disguise on. There's a robot and he's waving and talking about chocolate-dipped cauliflower as a snack-- HOW can people NOT see that this is real? ... -or, some kind of deranged metallic pregnant woman." Dwicky straightened, scratching his head. "Let me guess his motive." The boy placed either of his hands on Dib's shoulder so he could peer over to grin at the man's face. "World domination."

Dib opened his mouth to deny those words, but shut his mouth just as quickly. An annoyed expression came over his face as he turned his attention back to the screen and clicked away all of the evidence he had brought up so far. "You're a smart one. That's not good for me." He leaned forward to type up a few things and in moments a whole new file opened up. "You're right. Zim's motive is world domination and that", he lifted a hand to point to the screen, "is a list of each attempt I've stopped. Every single plan he's had to take it over is pretty much right there." He dropped his hand, looking back at the teen. "Since you're my partner now I guess there's no reason for me to hide that much from you. You'd find out sooner or later."

"Hm. Lucky guess. My second one was capturing people and cloning them in cabbages, or impregnating them with cabbages. People cabbage hybrid! Soo bad, but sooo good for you! Guess many a late night of movie watching paid off. You'd think aliens would do something different after a while." Dwicky looked over the long list. "Wow.. wooowww... Woooooooooooww. That's… tang? What? And none of these plans worked out? Well… obviously." He gestured to their blatant freedom. "He must really suck at his job." Dwicky looked back at Dib and gave him a nudge. "So if he's so bad at it, why haven't you captured him yet?"

Dib became aggravated at that one simple question. "I don't know." He stood up from the chair, moving away from Dwicky in the process and towards the far side of the room. "He can't seem to do anything right, but when it comes to actually escaping he can do that just fine." He picked up the papers Dwicky had been looking through earlier and started putting them away. "There have been plenty of times I've been so close to catching him, but there's always some way he gets by me." He slammed the last file down harder than necessary, but didn't really seem to notice.

Dwicky had sat down in the chair, clicking through the exuberant amount of information on this 'Irken' alien called 'Zim'. He was absolutely captivated by all the data taken, drinking it in eagerly, each word and phrase; it was real, all real. But it was Dib's outward anger that captured Dwicky's attention again; the fact the man had actually failed to capture what he really wanted throughout his life. That surprised Dwicky more. "He sounds elusive... and lucky." He rubbed the back of his head. "Didn't think aliens could have luck." He leaned back in the chair. "Well... maybe with a partner to back you up, this time you'll actually do it." Dwicky smiled wide in his optimistic way. "He won't be expecting you to have back up. It'll throw him off guard."

Dib had began to drum his fingers on top of the last file he set down, but Dwicky's words caused him to stop. He looked over at the teen and didn't seem to share the enthusiasm. "I'm not sure about that. I mean, having you come along when I try to deal with him." He walked back to the computer and instead of making Dwicky move, he leaned over the back of the chair to mess with the keyboard, leaning over Dwicky as well. "The small cases, sure, those are fine. Zim is a whole different story. He may have luck and no real brains, but things can get dangerous. I almost lost a limb one time." He shrugged as if it were no big deal. "My own stupidity."

"And let you have all the fun? Nuh-uh. I'm in this job one hundred percent, and then some." The teen tapped his boots on the floor. "I won't go in the field green, if that's what you're worried about. I'll study up on the target. Go over. Every. Single. File. You have on the subject." He glanced, realizing that over ten years of information was going to take far longer than a couple of days. "Okay, maybe just the more important files. Heh. Just means you'll be seeing more of me. I won't be a bother. Just sitt'n, read'n, you won't hear a peep. Just feed me coffee every once and a while. Blinking is my version of sleep." He grinned at Dib.

After a few passwords were typed in, Dib let his hands fall to the back of the seat. He stared at the videos that had popped up for a bit-- some that he had buried deep in his computer-- before he actually turned his attention back on Dwicky. He didn't say anything for a while, too busy studying the teenager. Finally he lifted a hand and placed it on the other's head, ruffling hair much like he had in the car earlier. "I just don't want to start a partnership and have something happen to you right away." A small smirk came to his lips. "But, if you're so eager I can't really stop you. At least, not until something does happen to you and you learn how rough this job can get." He removed his hand and let it fall to his side.

Dwicky narrowed his eyes in amusement and gave a small chuckle. "Hmm. But what's one less fan, hm?" He lifted his hands to smooth down the damage Dib had done, leaning back in the chair to watch the videos as well:

Zim in his 'secret' base, Zim flying in his space ship, Zim yelling at his robot lackey, the robot making funny cookie men, Zim trying to take over the world in some kind of estranged alien technology, again and again and again and again and again and—

"The alien has perseverance, I'll give him that." Dwicky raised his brows. "He has something, that's for sure." Dib kept his own eyes on the videos as well. "All of these were taken with normal cameras. I've tried to get spy equipment set up in his base, but it never really works out very well. Either his robot finds it and trashes it or Zim just gets to me before I can set it up. Big battle ensues and I forget all about setting the stuff up." A sigh escaped him as he crossed his arms across the back of the chair, resting his head on top of them. "It gets kind of hectic trying to get all of this footage while I'm trying to catch him at the same time."

Dwicky drew up his thin legs to rest his chin upon, loosely wrapping his arms around them as he watched. He sat that way for a long while, but finally spoke in a languid voice. "... It's like watching a lava lamp… of stupidity. You just… can't look away." The teen sat up some, stretching his back as he rubbed an eye. "Ever tried just laying out an impenetrable cage with a cookie in it?" he teased with a chuckle.

"Would it be just as bad if I said yes?" Dib stood up straight and shrugged off his coat for the time being. "I thought I had him, but it was just his robot and sadly, catching it was a bust because it ate through the cage." He threw his coat onto an extra chair that was in the corner of the room blocked by files. "I've learned that his robot will eat everything and anything. It bit my finger one time and it wasn't even defending Zim by doing it."

That had Dwicky stifling his amused laughter in his knees. He shook his head, rubbing his face against them. "Classic." He rested his cheek on his knees as he looked back at Dib. "Of course, the people at the convention did just as crazy things. Like that girl who wanted a piece of your 'dorsal fin' there and came at you with scissors. And all the touching, groping... I'm sure you've been licked or bitten more by people than by any mysterious creature." He gave a small sigh. "You wouldn't believe all the crazy bribes I got to bring them some kind of memorabilia of yours when I made a trip to the bathroom. I gave them some lint that was in my pocket, said it was from your belly button. They fought over it, giving me a chance to do my business and leave." The teen was stifling laughter again.

Dib rubbed both of his hands under his glasses with a groan. "Fans will fight over the strangest things." His hands barely slid down so his eyes could be seen. "That's not the worst, though. You don't know how many pairs of underwear I've lost because of the creepy creatures. Nothing I have in my possession is safe. It doesn't matter if I'm wearing it or not." He let his hands fall as he crossed them over his chest. "Of course, you're just going to keep getting bugged as well. That small bit at the convention was only the beginning for you."

Dwicky had wrinkled his nose at the underwear-stealing comment but it only had him laughing harder. He tried to rub the laughter off his mouth with a hand, but it was no use. He shrugged. "It'll make my life that much more exciting." His sarcasm was notable. "I'm not in it for the fame, the mansion, the life supply of pudding and cute fan boys that come my way." He batted his eye lashes and laughed after. "Believe it or not, I do it because I've always had an interest for the strange unknown. Guess, cuz, well.. it's 'unknown'." Dwicky bursted out into a snickering fit again. "--They stole your underpants."

Dib raised a brow at the laughter and Dwicky's last few words. He waited for the teen to get himself under control, but it didn't seem to be happening. So, he did the next best thing and hit the teen upside the head. "It's not funny." Of course, he said those words with a slight smile. "So, you're telling me that if you weren't sitting here right now as my partner you wouldn't be trying to get some piece of clothing off of me? Probably not even clothing. Just something that you would be able to frame?"

Dwicky rubbed his head and stuck out his pierced tongue. "What? If you said 'no'? But you didn't. So ha!" He stuck out his tongue again. "Just goes to show that a way to a man's good graces is through his stomach." He flashed a winning grin. "But, if you did. I guess I would swallow my disappointment and go home. Then come back the next day to your table with all of my Dib merchandise for you to sign, like the girl in front of me in line." Dwicky snickered again. "Nah. I'd maybe get you to sign my shirt and then move on to work independently." He shrugged at that. "... and maybe I'd frame it." he quickly and quietly added.

"See, I know how you tick." Dib pointed a finger at Dwicky as he spoke. Afterwards, he turned around to take a seat on the floor near one of the taller piles of paperwork. "I'm just glad all of that is over and I'm back to what little normalcy I can have until I get to work again." He waved around a few papers. "Not counting any of this." He flipped through the sheets of paper, staying silent for a few moments until he spoke up again. "Do you know anyone else that's interested in the paranormal? I know you told me your family isn't as supportive of what you believe in, but what about anyone at Skool? Do you have anyone at all to talk to?" He never looked up once as he asked each question.

Dwicky rested his chin on the back of the computer chair and he gave a weak, musing smile. "Is that a tactful way of asking for more help in your work? Or a kinder way of asking me if I have any friends?"

Dib shook his head. "The second one. Why would I want more help when you had to practically beg and plead to get me to take you in as my partner?" He dug through his pocket, moving his hand around until he finally brought out a pen. "I'm just curious about if you've ever been able to share what you've found with anyone before. You say you do your own snooping around, right?" He scratched at one of the papers, trying to get the ink in the pen to work since he had been using it all day to sign. "Well, were there any times you went with anyone else?" The pen started working, causing him to let out a small sound of triumph before he started working on the papers in hand.

Dwicky sat up just enough to slowly shake his head. "N-no, not really. A few times I've dragged some friends along.. much to their disappointment Most people I know just want to listen to music, talk about bands, clothes, go at it like bunnies, or sit around doing nothing and talk about.. music, bands, clothing and what guy or girl their 'dating'." He made air-quotes with his fingers as he rolled his eyes. He crossed his arms over the back of the seat, resting his chin on them. "No one wants to hear about what kind of mysterious 'goo' I collected in an alley and what I'm going to do with it." Dwicky gave a sad but amused smile at that.

Dib stayed silent after Dwicky spoke. It almost seemed as if he hadn't paid attention to a word the other said as he went about filling in small bits of information on each bit of paperwork in the files. After a while he glanced to the side at Dwicky and waved his pen at the teen. "Well, I'm here and obviously interested. So, tell me about some of the things you've been able to find so far." He looked back down and continued to work. "I want to know."

"What an interesting way to segue from my personal life right into business." Dwicky huffed and draped his arms over the back of the chair. "Well, the goo I was talking about. It seemed kind of out of place… kinda glowy, with a strange kind of smell. Like… if cold had a smell. Cold decay." He twirled a finger. "So I took a sample home. Which was really _dumb_, Because really strange things started happening. Things were misplaced or moved from where I put them. At first I thought I was just being careless but then I started hearing noises... and having these really weird dreams. Everyone was saying that I was overstressed, with home, with skool. But when I started to see things, my parents were about ready to shove pills down my throat and toss me in the loony bin." Dwicky sighed, plunking his cheek on his arms. "I threw the sample out. Most poltergeists are best left un-messed with."

Dib shook his head a bit, chewing on a pen. His words were muffled a bit when he spoke up. "It may be business, but I am interested as well. Despite having a job to do it's still something I enjoy. I get just as excited as you do over some of this stuff. I might keep a few notes in my head about what you're telling me, but I'd rather just hear what you have to say." He took the pen from his mouth and went back to writing, shrugging his shoulders as he did. "So, you made a mistake. All of us do. I've made plenty of them, even now that I'm famous." He turned his eyes to Dwicky. "Frankly I'm a bit amazed you were able to handle a poltergeist on your own. Most people would just completely freak out at the first signs and _actually_ end up in the loony bin." He shook his head. "I've seen it."

Dwicky seemed to perk. "Really? You? Mister Perfect in a trench coat?" He mocked a scoff. "Do tell." He grinned, pushing up to stand from the chair he was slumped in. "And what do you keep writing on that paper? You aren't psychoanalyzing me, are you?" He sidled over, stepping between Dib's outstretched legs with a slink in his step to peer over to look see. "What's'it?"

Dib lifted the paper up to show one of the files that Dwicky had been looking at earlier. In a few places Dib had filled some blank spots out and there were also notes written on the sides of the paper as well that were almost unreadable. "I'm filling in what I remember of this case. It was something I tried to finish working on yesterday, but because I forgot the convention was still in the city I only got to work on the case for ten minutes at best." He set the paper back down and lifted his arms up to stretch. "A woman thinks her daughter is possessed by the milkman." Once he was done stretching, Dib went right back to his notes. "It's one of the weirder cases I've had, that's for sure." Despite the annoyance of his work, a small smile still came to his face. "As for my faults, well, I would think not being able to capture an incompetent alien would be a pretty big fault already."

"The milkman? Is her milk delicious? It's fortified with what the world wants, what the world deserves." Dwicky snickered. "That came out completely wrong." He knelt down where he stood, leaning over so he could read what Dib had added and was continuing to add. "Says here she wakes up early each morning to deliver fresh milk. Maybe she just has a new job? Eh, no, wait. No self-respecting teen would get up _that_ early to do something like that. Did you stake out the area? Anything unusual afoot?" Dwicky skiggled his brows.

Dib nodded his head as he set the pen and papers aside. "I checked around outside and near the back of the house were those cartons used to carry the milk." He moved to dig around inside the case folder and took out a few pictures that he handed to Dwicky. "It almost seemed like the girl was trying to horde the stuff, but the cartons I saw were empty." He leaned back with his hands on the floor. "Not really seeing any activity of real possession, it's all I have to go on so far."

Dwicky rubbed the back of his neck as he looked over the pictures. He made a few thoughtful sounds. "Strange. Everything looks so legit. Nothing really suspicious.. just looks like the girl really likes her milk. No calcium deficiency for that girl." He looked at Dib. "Did you actually meet the woman's daughter?"

"Well, that's the other thing keeping me on it." Dib pointed a hand towards the folder. "I have yet to see the girl. It's not the mother's doing. It's the daughter that doesn't want to see me. She seems a little freaked out at the thought of seeing me. I'm sort of thinking that maybe it could be because of the whole possession, but with so little to go on and not actually being able to see her I can only say it's typical teenage anti-social behavior." He glanced at Dwicky. "No offense."

"None taken, gramps." Dwicky waved it off. "Well, look at it this way: Some tall, scary snoopy man in a black trench coat wants to barge his way in just because of some peculiar behavior. Sounds a little traumatizing for some youngins" He gave Dib a sly sort of grin. "As 'sleek', 'slooth' and 'of the night' it makes you appear- you aren't exactly family channel to the 'sunshine and rainbows'-type people. To be frank, your people skills suck and you look like a flasher." Dwicky straightened, adopting a more professional demeanor. "That's where I come in. Not only am I a teenager, but I talked my way into being your partner." He tapped Dib's chest with a finger. "HA! Beat that!"

Dib looked down at Dwicky's finger, keeping his eyes there for a few seconds. Slowly he raised his head to look at the teen and raised a brow. "You're slowly talking your way out of being my partner." He moved a hand up to grab Dwicky's wrist and move his hand aside off of his chest.

Dwicky took his hand back and rubbed his wrist with a pout. "Fame has eaten your sense of humor I see." He shrugged. "But it's as good a start as any for me. It'll give me time to study up for the big leagues." He looked round at the jungle of paper, and more than likely there were many rooms-full more. Finally he settled his eyes back at the computer. "Guess I have a lot of reading to do." He sighed, his head falling into a suddenly weighted hand as he groaned. "... -And I have some stupid socials final coming up." The teen suddenly fell over, flopping onto the floor right where he was. "I hate history. The past is so boring. Farmers are boring!"

"Well, if anything you can bring your work from Skool over here to study before you get started on everything I have for you." Dib moved around until he was laying on his back. He took his glasses off before he rested his arm over his eyes, blocking out the light in the room. "It's no big deal and if you ever need help just pull me away from whatever I'm doing and I'll help you out. It'll be good to do some work other than my own. As for everything around here, you don't have to cram it all so soon. You can take as much time as you need. As long as you have a general idea of things."

"Mmm." Dwicky gave a small yawn. He shifted so he could use Dib's leg as a pillow, even if the man had stalky thin legs, it was softer than the floor. "Then you can do my homework then. Despite what you think, learning about cultivation is not my idea of a good time." He put an arm over his face much like Dib, as if that would remove the aggravation of skool. "I'd rather cram about all of this" he raised a hand and twirled it, gesturing to the mountains of paper all around "than cram for skool any day." His arm flopped back down to the floor.

"Well, you might not get sick of all of this because you haven't been overwhelmed by so much. I guess even the thought of getting away to help with skool work is just more appealing to me now." Dib had made no protest to Dwicky laying against him, letting the teen stay where he was. "It's kind of sad considering how much being famous really meant to me." He peaked out from his arm and looked towards the other. "I need a vacation. You can take my place as a decoy and deal with everything while I'm gone." He grinned.

"Switch with my place at skool and you got yourself as a deal. I'd happily take all the death defying thrills, chills and spooky all night stakes- even the fans- over going another day to that 'thing' called skool. Spit balls, cafeteria food, gum in places you don't even want to know how they got there, and stupid, stupid, stupid, _stupid_ people. What you do is far more enjoyable.. and the fans _like_ you." Dwicky cracked a grin of his own. ".. Even if they are stealing your under-things."

Dib covered his eyes again as he groaned. "It's unbelievable. I shudder to think what those people have done with the pairs they stole. It makes me cringe." And he did too. "Of course, I never really liked Skool much either. So, either way I would just want to hide away." He lifted his other hand, moving it around as he went on. "But, if you take away the really extreme fans, the pushy agents that like to sell my body to television, and all the animators that love to draw me in impossible heroic poses, the job is wonderful and I wouldn't give it up for the world." His hand dropped to lay across his middle. "It's just a matter of trying my best to ignore all those little extra things that are tagged along with it. So far I haven't been very successful."

"I don't think you could fit into my clothes anyway. And I think people would notice that I'm a whole lot taller, glasses and the little doingy on my head." Dwicky wiggled his fingers atop his head in gesture before letting his arm fall, draping over Dib's leg. "Not to mention a whole lot cooler." He chuckled. "Oh man, but wouldn't that be hilarious. Girls flocking to you, all the while denying 'Noo I'm Dwicky!'." He stifled a yawn. "I think I'd make a good you. I'd stay as true and in character to the original as I could. Except less grumpy, and I'd buy a rubber stamp with your signature on it." Dwicky snickered lazily.

"I don't think people would appreciate a stamp as much as the real thing." Dib looked down at Dwicky as he lifted his arm a bit. "And I'm not grumpy. You want to see grumpy, catch me in the morning. I despise waking up and it's usually my cell phone that likes to do the honors of such a thing." He shifted the leg that Dwicky was laying on just to mess with the teen a bit. "At least I'm being social. I could just lock myself in a different room and not come out until I have to take you home."

Dwicky squeaked and laughed as his pillow disturbed him. He turned to his side to face Dib and grasp the other's leg so his head wouldn't fall off if Dib decided to move it again. "Then you're going to hate me, I'm very much a morning person." He grinned as he shifted his head more comfortably on Dib's leg. "You know, the kind who gets up at the crack of dawn, puts on the coffee to wake everyone else up and then makes breakfast and is so disgustingly cheery with their 'good mornings!'. I've gotten muffins thrown at me for it." The teen patted Dib's knee. "And thank you, for being social, _Mister_ Dib." He couldn't help the laugh.

Dib shook his head, giving up on moving his leg anymore and instead kept it still. "It's a good thing I don't have to deal with you until later on in the day. I have a feeling if you ever came here like that in the morning I would slam the door in your face." He tried his best to get more comfortable, but the floor wasn't very soft to begin with, so he gave in and stopped squirming. "Of course knowing you, you'd stand there the entire time until I gave in and let you in."

"I'd be smart and bribe my way in with cookies or muffins." Dwicky wagged a finger. "Not stale store bought junk, but fresh home made baked goods." He grinned. "I could even make you breakfast." He made a face. "Less you have servants who do it for you." He blinked and looked around, as if he would spot a servant hiding under a lamp or peering around a piece of furniture. "Do you have servants?"

"No, no, no." Dib quickly shook his head at that. "I have none of that, at least, not anymore." He removed his arm from his eyes and let it fall to his chest as he looked to the ceiling. "I used to have a few of them. More than a few, actually. All they did was hover over my shoulder waiting for me to tell them what to do. They were like pets that just got in the way. So, I got rid of them because I figured the jobs they did I could easily do on my own considering there was only one person living here." He glanced away from the ceiling and looked to Dwicky. "I was right. It's not that hard to keep up with this place, excluding the papers thrown around. The only hired help I have is the people that come by to take care of the plants outside. I'm horrible at gardening."

"Hmm, another tick against Mister Perfect." Dwicky met Dib's gaze with a half lidded amused look. "One might say you're 'compensating'." He grinned more as he gestured about. "As nice as this place is, I could never live in something like this. Too big, and not enough of little me to fill it up. No, I'm more for something a little more 'cozy'. An apartment or one bedroom house is good enough for me. I don't need to get lost when I go off looking for the bathroom."

"Down the hall second door on the right." Dib raised a hand as he spoke, pointing in the direction he spoke of. "I don't want any accidents just because you can't find your way around this place." He was only teasing for Dwicky's earlier comment. "You get used to the place after a while. I actually got lost a few times before I memorized my way around here. Ended up in one of the closets because I thought it was the door to the kitchen."

"Soo, it must get lonely to have all this house and just one Dib. Or do you invite all your famous friends over and party hard on your off days?" Dwicky blinked. "What do you do on your off days? I mean, disregarding what the teen magazines publish." He waved a hand dismissively. "Have hobbies?" Dwicky couldn't help the wry grin as he turned Dib's prior question bluntly back at him. "Have friends?"

"It can be lonely. I don't have many friends myself." Dib turned his attention back to the ceiling. "Being famous, it's hard to really make friends. Much like relationships, I sometimes think the friends just hang around me for the fame and spotlight. For that reason I usually hang out on my own." He shrugged one shoulder before he went on. "I go out every now and then just to relax, but there's always people that want my autograph. So, I find it better to just stay here and keep to myself. There's a small simple game room in this house as well as a library. I just like to read or play a few games when I'm stuck here afraid to leave the house." He grinned at that. "Sometimes I also watch a few old sci-fi movies I taped when I was a kid. They may not be the best things in the world, but I still enjoy looking at them."

Dwicky placed a hand over his own chest, sharing Dib's grin. "A man after my own heart. Sounds like me, minus the agoraphobia. Movies, TV, hanging out, games, and computer, in my me time." He propped his head up on an arm. "You know the best way to tell if a friend is real is if they offer to pay for you. Ya'know, when you 'accidentally' forget your wallet at home in your other pants, or you're just broke that week. If they offer to pay your way for the outing without prompt, you know you have a friend who will bail you out when you need to in the future. And if they say you don't owe them, or have to pay them back, well, then you know you have a true friend." Dwicky chuckled and flopped over again, covering his face with an arm. "It's a lame template, but hey, it's a thought. And it leaves no excuse for mooching of course." He wagged a no-no finger.

Dib gave a thoughtful sound after the words. For a few moments he stayed silent once the sound passed his lips and kept his eyes on the ceiling. After a while he moved his leg again just to disturb Dwicky as he spoke up, never once looking down. "So, should I pay you back for the food earlier?"

Dwicky chirped, not expecting the disturbance again. Re-settling himself back down he moved his arm enough so he could look up at the ceiling too. He'd forgotten that he'd done that earlier. "I didn't ask you before did I." he stated.

Dib only shook his head even though the other couldn't see the action. The words caused him to keep silent once again for much longer than last time. Finally he sat up halfway, letting his arms fall to the floor to keep him grounded. His eyes trailed down to Dwicky and an amused expression came over his face. "So, is there anything else you want to ask me that all of the magazines, television shows, and just all around gossip, hasn't gotten around to telling about me?"

Dwicky loosely shrugged. "Tell me what you want. Doesn't matter what." He tilted his head to glance at Dib through dark hair, and gave a small grin. "I'll listen."

"Well, I'll try to tell you something you don't know. I'm sure it'll be pretty hard, though." Dib tapped his fingers on the floor as he thought over anything he could talk about. Finally he raised that hand to tick off things on his fingers as he said them. "Let's see, I'm not much of a dog person. I hate chocolate. I have a whole closet full of coats because I'm paranoid I'll ruin one on a job. I'm behind two payments on my car because I went out and bought more parts for my computers instead." He dropped his hand and glanced back at Dwicky. "And I'd have to say my favorite place is a counter." He gave a bit of a sly grin at that.

Dwicky's brows raised and he seemed to quickly pull from his lethargic state to grin more awake at the last one. "I like counters. Counters are nice. Right up there with walls, I will agree." He turned to lay on his stomach, head propped up by an arm again. "Sooo" he pointed at Dib lazily, "... you top or bottom?" he tried to ask as casually he could in a slow sly voice.

Dib raised a brow at that. "I really don't think such a thing is any of your business." He looked away to the other side of the room. "Especially someone your age. It's a little wrong." He tapped his fingers on the floor for a few seconds before he glanced at Dwicky out the corner of his eye. "But, I might be on top most of the time."

" 'Most of the time'." Dwicky chuckled. "So it isn't actually _you_ that's on the counter then." He grinned "Or is it?" He gave a dramatic sigh. "Oh what stories your counter could tell, I can only imagine." He propped himself up on elbows, cocking his head to glance at Dib. "Bet you go through a lot of disinfectant spray." The teen laughed and quickly covered his mouth. "I'm sorry, I'll stop." He turned trying to contain his laughter.

Dib moved his other leg up to poke Dwicky in the back of the head with his foot. "That doesn't sound like stopping to me." He dropped his foot back down. Even with the words he said he couldn't help his own grin. He shrugged a little as he looked away again. "I might have been the one on the counter a few times. I should be lucky my counter can't actually talk. Of course, the way I'm running my mouth isn't really helping my case at all."

"Nope!" Dwicky held stomach as he sat up. But it was no use and he fell over laughing again. "Sorry- sorry. I'm- I'm stopping now." He slowed and let out a content sigh, finally stopping. "Oh man, I have the giggles." He was grinning back at Dib again, tilting his head to half glance upside down from the floor. "Not that you want to know" his hand flopped over on the floor to gesture towards Dib "but a good few walls could say the same for me."

Dib rolled his eyes at that. "It's nice to know you're active at such an age." He finally moved to stand, disturbing Dwicky once more as he did. "Well, at least you can be happy that you know way more than any magazine does about me." He stretched his arms above his head before he went on. "And all it took was for you to bug me to become my partner." He reached his hand out to help Dwicky up off the floor.

"It must be a while since you've been in hi-skool for you to say that." Dwicky smirked and stretched when he stood. "I'm sure it was 'my age' that you experienced your first counter adventure." He shrugged. "At least it's nice to know the real you, and not the stylish cardboard cut out that the media makes you out to be. I'm actually really flattered, touched, and above all honored that you gave in and allowed me this privilege." The teen outstretched his hand and smiled. "Thanks, Dib."

Dib placed his hand in Dwicky's own, shaking it as he spoke. "Well, no one really felt the need to take me up against a wall in hi-skool, so my experiences are limited to a bit later than that." He shrugged and looked away as he let go of Dwicky's hand. "Either way, I would rather you get to know me better as just an average person rather than some amazing celebrity that everyone tries to make me out to be. We're partners, friends even, right? To have you believe everything you read about me would just be a little weird on my part since I know most of it is bull."

Dwicky gave a firm nod. "Of course. Of course." He rolled his head, stretching the cricks out of his neck. "Hmmm, by the by, were you in _my_ skool, I so would." he added quick and quietly, turning round to stretch his arms up as if he'd never made the off handed comment.

Dib heard the quick words and they caused him to let out a nervous laugh. One of his hands moved up to scratch at the back of his head to busy himself as he tried to think of something to say, but his mind was suddenly blank. "Huh..." It was the only thing that would really come from his mouth for the moment as he tried to keep his attention away from Dwicky.

"So I take it you're kicking me out of your house now?" Dwicky's blunt words ruptured the awkward silence before it was born. The teen turned some and gave a weak but hopeful smile. "Or can I stay and read up?"

Dib shook his head as he finally turned his attention back on the other. "No, you can stay as long as you want. Or at most, as long as you're able to." He let out a sigh and looked around the room. "I just can't be laying around too much. If I do I might not get any work done." He waved a hand around. "So, just make yourself at home and read up on whatever you want."

Dwicky narrowed his eyes, amused. "Saying that, you'll never get rid of me. I may just make myself at home more than you'd like." He chuckled, adopting a more sincere expression. "Thanks Dib." That said he shoved his hands in his pockets and pointed. "If you need me, I'll be snooping on the computer." He then turned to keep reading about the alien named 'Zim'.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fanboy**

By Kitteh and NeoFox

**Rating** R

**Warnings** Fanboys and girls, violence, gore, swearing and plenty of gay fun

**Disclaimer** Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim. So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM! We just want to borrow Dwicky and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.

**Summary** AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.

**Beta **Heartless 7**  
**

Chapter 03

Twenty odd Dibs standing in a row, each one a perfect likeness of the other save for different office attire.

The Dibs in the female dress suits were particularly eye catching. At the same time more people were standing up from computer chairs and walking out of their cubicles, their faces shifting, distorted for mere seconds. Brown, blond, auburn, all faded to a dark shade as a jagged, zig-zag lock of hair spiked from the crest of their heads. Their builds thinned out, stretched; flesh like liquid rubber, easily morphing to Dib's tall, slender frame.

Had it been anywhere else, any other time, Dwicky would have considered stepping towards the onslaught instead of away.

"... This.. is the _best_ _first mission ever_." he murmured with a half-dazed sigh. He took another step back as the crowd drew nearer.

The Dibs moved with a certain grace, like their bones were more fluid than solid. And even with all the movies and clips Dwicky had seen of Dib, and as dexterous-as-a-feline the years of adventurous work had made Dib, these things were far more inhumanly slinky. It should have been illegal. Their mesmerizing, almost sensual movements had Dwicky faltering.

"... I don't think splitting up was such a good idea. My novice abilities…" Dwicky tilted his head, staring at the dib-clones, "and shamelessness are going to get me killed." He blinked. "... and I'm narrating too. Damn."

One Dib lashed his hand out, his fingers stretching to an impossible length towards the teen. Dwicky threw himself out of the way with a squeak, the fingers grazing his cheek and shoulder as they stabbed deep into the wall where he had just been. Dwicky clutched tightly to the doorframe he had landed against, his heart pounding harder and harder with each panicked breath. The teen jumped through the door just as several more fingers slammed into it, shattering the door into splinters with the sheer force.

"DIB! There are a _lot_ more doppelgangers in this office building than we thought!" Dwicky screamed as he ran down the large hall.

It was in another room that Dib stood staring down a small army of himself. It was far too eerie for his liking and he really wanted to get rid of them all quickly. Hearing the loud shout caused Dib to raise a brow "Really? I didn't notice..." He muttered under his breath. The sarcasm was obvious.

As soon as Dib seemed distracted enough, two of the doppelgangers threw out their hands far across the room, claws extended, aiming to impale him on the spot.. Dib barely had a chance to register the movements, just barely dodging one of the claws by ducking down. He wasn't so lucky with the other as it latched onto his coat, nicking his shoulder at the same time. "Damnit!" He used his free arm to reach for something in his belt; what he pulled out what looked like a small, modified throwing star and threw it at the still-clutching arm. It sliced it down the middle, the clone on the other end emitting a loud wail. As soon as he felt the hand go slack, he shrugged it off of his coat and ran out of the dib-crowded room.

Dwicky skidded on his heels in an attempt to stop, but still managed to stumble and slam hard into Dib. He peeled his face off Dib's chest and grinned up at him, disoriented. "Hiii." he greeted off handedly. "An army of you are trying to kill me. My adrenaline is running full throttle." he continued on in a very cheery tone. "I feel neat. And I think I'm gunna puke!" He stopped. "Maybe I shouldn't have thought that out loud."

The doppelgangers from the room Dwicky had come running from started spilling into the hallway, running much faster than any normal human should.

Dib had rested both of his hands on Dwicky's shoulders: It was the best thing he could do to settle the teen down in such a situation. Of course, as soon as his eyes caught sight of what was coming for them, calming Dwicky down was the least of his worries. "We need to loose them for a bit." He grabbed Dwicky's wrist and turned to run the other way.

It wasn't a clear hall that was to greet them. In their way was a massive horde of dopplegangers from the room Dib had come from. Some were crawling on the walls and even a few on the ceilings, all clamoring to get to the two of them.

Such a sight had Dib frozen in place, cursing with narrowed eyes. He hadn't brought nearly enough weapons for so many of the weird creatures and if he missed then it would've been a waste. His eyes scanned the room for a possible escape. The rail near them was a balcony-like edge that looked down over a flight of stairs below. Dib kept his eyes on that as he leaned over to speak to Dwicky. "Are you good at landing on your feet?"

Dwicky's eyes fell on the stairwell Dib had locked his eyes on. "There might be a sixty percent chance I might land on my butt, but there's a ninety nine percent chance we'll get skewered here. So I'll graciously take those odds." His eyes grew wider as he swallowed hard, backing closer to Dib.

There was no time to argue as all the hands of the closest doppleganges twisted into something sharp, thrashing forward instantly to attack the two.

Dib waited until the last possible second before he lept over the rail, taking Dwicky with him whether he was ready or not. Not a moment passes before the spot they had once been occupying was bombarded, scraps of wood and carpeting flying in their general direction. Dib paid it no mind, crouching as he landed so he wouldn't damage his legs. He let go of Dwicky's arm and turned to look up above them.

Every one of the doppelgangers were still in pursuit, climbing down the wall to try and get to them. A few sat on the rail looking over the scene, but had their arms extended as if ready to strike.

Dib stood up quickly and reached to his belt to grab another throwing star, speaking to Dwicky as he did. "Are you okay?" He threw the star, another one finding it's way into his hand as he did. It hit one of the creatures in the face, causing it to reel back with an agonizing screech

Dwicky had landed far less gracefully than Dib. With a groan he pushed himself onto a crouch, rubbing his poor rear. "The sixty percent won." He looked up at the onslaught and although he knew it was a horrible timing, he couldn't help the excited grin that plastered itself on his face. "Nice throw… I want one of those. Hmm, bet the head office didn't think that his entire employee body was a whole family of duplicates." Staggering up onto his feet Dwicky grasped the fabric of Dib's shirt as he clumsily sprinted, yanking them both from the new bombardment of limbs that tried to impale them. Though Dwicky's leg was less fortunate, a graze that left a gash down his calf caused him to stumble, and Dib thudded into the wall with Dwicky on top. "Mmph. These things, uhh.. -got a weakness?"

The dib-clones began to get impatient, and jumped down from the railing, stretching their bodies with ease like rubber bands to bridge gaps and close the distance. Braver doppelgangers simply dropped the full fall, twisting in the air to make their fall less blunt.

Dib tried to steady his breathing with the free time they had. Of course having Dwicky pinned against him didn't really help matters even if the teen was light weight. "They feed on people's greed, ego, things like that. Unless something like that is controlled and they have nothing to feed on then we're pretty much screwed." He grabbed onto Dwicky and moved away from the wall, backing away from the nearing creatures. "We just have to hope plan B works and they drop every time we hit them."

Sharp claws shot at a fast rate, aimed to pin Dib in the chest. The man moved to the side in the last few seconds, pulling Dwicky with him. As soon as the claws hit the wall, he pulled out a small weapon that resembled a knife and sliced through the arm in one fell swoop. "It's worked so far." As he said the words, the damaged Dib-clone quickly fell back in the pain and the others seemed a little more cautious. "Or, at least as a small distraction." He continued when the creatures started moving towards them again.

Dwicky snaked an arm around Dib's waist, pulling the man back with him as he back stepped on the small landing. That wasn't so bad, until they ran out of floor and came to the top of stairs, then it wasn't so good. "Greed and ego, greed and ego, greed and ego. Let's see: one famous paranormal investigator, and his partner, an obsessive fan." Dwicky laughed nervously. "Heh. Yeah, 'we're pretty screwed' sounds about bang on."

One particular doppelganger straightened himself from his stooped over, offensive haunch; standing much like Dib had in many of his movie poster: tall and proud. The Dib farce wagged a long finger and tsked. "We're not as uncommon as you think." His voice sounded exactly like Dib's, everything was the same, save for the way he said it: It was more dramatic in pronunciation like the media built up character 'Dib', rather than the person himself. "We've taken the lives of people, longer than you would like to realize. It wouldn't be surprising if half the people you know are already doppelgangers." He lazily stretched out his arms in gesture, and a good many of the other doppelgangers came to stand just behind him lined up neatly; looking the part of an army. "But we've come a lot farther over the many centuries from our ancestors." The Dib farce raised his hands to the collar of his office shirt. Loosening his tie he pulled it off and let it fall, unbuttoning the first buttons to pull his collar up. The fabric of his clothes began to melt, darkening and shifting to cling to skin much tighter than it had, and soon the doppelganger was suited in the exact same clothes the original Dib stood in. A wide grin etched itself impossibly wide on the doppelganger's stolen features. "I think I'd like to be you-- Dib."

Dib kept his knife ready as he watched the scene before him. Even in his line of work it was still way too creepy. "Well, that's just too bad because I don't plan on letting you become me. Soon enough you'll be gone." His eyes scanned over the last few remaining doppelgangers that hadn't moved behind the one. "I'll get rid of every single one of you freaks here and outside of this building." He moved his eyes back to the one that spoke and shifted a bit as if ready to strike. "So, don't get too used to that look."

"If not you- then how about your little friend there behind you?" The doppelganger's face shifted, and his slick, black hair grew shaggier; brows and nose more prominent. It was Dwicky's face that grinned on Dib's body, but it didn't take long before the tall, lithe form shrank down to something more lanky. His clothes turned as well. "He seems to be coming up in the world." The Dwicky farce tilted his head. "A protégé, maybe?" The cold words were disturbing to hear in Dwicky's voice.

The real Dwicky paled and tugged on Dib's shirt, urging him towards the stairs. "Dib, ego, remember. Ego." he whispered.

"You wouldn't kill this face would you?" The Dwicky doppelganger pointed to his stolen features. "I would imagine that would be quite... traumatizing."

Dib gripped his knife tighter as his eyes narrowed. He didn't even seem to notice the tug at his side or Dwicky's words. He only kept his attention on the one doppelganger. Finally, in one swift movement he turned and embedded his knife in a doppelganger that had been sneaking towards them as he spoke with the other. The knife went through it's face all the way into the wall. Dib didn't even seem to care about the outcome, too shaken up for the moment and wanting to get out of the situation for just a little bit. "Go, go, go." He pushed at Dwicky to move down the stairs while following after the teen as quick as he could.

There were shrieks of pain and angry screams from the other doppelgangers, and soon the chase was back on, though much more fierce than it had been.

Dwicky moved as quickly as he could, taking steps two at a time trying to avoid the sharp swipes of limbs that came his way. He soon gave up on that and leapt as many stairs as he could in one go, flinching when he hit from the sharp pain in his lower leg. He glanced up and let out a small distraught sound. It was completely disturbing to be chased down by an entire army of twisted images of himself. They were too easy a target in the stair well, they had to move somewhere with more hiding value. "Here!" Dwicky practically crashed into the handle of the lower level's door, fumbling to throw the door open, grasping Dib's shirt arm to pull him in too. The teen nearly fell from the shooting pain in his leg as he made a sharp turn. Running down the hall he glanced at the elevator; then it cognitively hit him. "I have a really stupid distraction idea." he spouted out quickly, turning to Dib as he let go of his arm. "Go hide!" He gestured wildly "-And --and think of a plan C!"

Dib was torn between going with the suggestion and telling Dwicky how stupid it was. They didn't really have much of a choice in the matter, though. That one simple thought caused Dib to become aggravated with the whole thing. He placed his hands on Dwicky's shoulders and lightly shook him as he narrowed his eyes on the teen. "If you die then you're fired." It was his own way of saying 'be careful' and with those words he moved away, turning to run and find the safest place to hide away from the creatures.

"Duly noted, boss." Dwicky saluted. His eyes darted to the thundering noises of angry identity stealing creatures and he sucked in a breath before darting towards the elevator. He slammed both the going up and down button; continuously, in a panicked fashion. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mooon." He tapped it harder, looking back to the metal door where the sounds were nearing, louder, louder. They were almost there. Dwicky began to bounce on the balls of his feet, his entire body shaking. "Please, please, please, please, please." His heart was pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears, and feel it in his throat. It muffled the piercing noise of sharp fingers stabbing straight through the metal door, followed by several more nearly taking it off its hinges. Dwicky let out a startled noise, pressing hard against the wall. But with all miracles the elevator opened, so pains takingly slowly as all elevator doors seem to do and Dwicky threw himself in. He pressed himself in the far corner, the gaping mouth of the elevator leaving him feel cornered, trapped, vulnerable. Dwicky slammed his hand on the button panel, running it up and down until all the lights were lit just as the metal exit door was thrown off its frame, letting the hordes of sadistic mimics in.

If Dib learned anything in all of his time as a celebrity, it was that bathrooms made great hiding places. It seemed to be the same law when you were a Paranormal Investigator because the office bathroom he decided to reside in was empty. Of course most of the employees were outside trying to kill him. He had second thoughts about leaving Dwicky alone. After watching the teen stumble around he knew the other was hurt. It would be his own fault if Dwicky got into even worse trouble. He was supposed to be some amazing hero and he was hiding out while his partner got chased. It caused him to let out a small curse. His eyes moved to the large mirror in the bathroom and he grimaced when he saw the scratches on his face from too many close calls that day. How the hell he was supposed to think up a new plan was beyond him. When every single one of the doppelgangers fed on the two people that were trying to stop them, it seemed useless. He continued to stare at his reflection for a little longer before his eyes widened for a small second and finally a slow grin spread on his face. He had a small plan. Whether it worked had yet to be seen.

The slam of hundreds of doppelgangers could be heard, piling through the exit onto the floor they were on. They sounded less than pleased, especially when they didn't see the ones they wanted to take their anger out on. So instead they took it out on the walls, the smash and crumble of plaster could easily be heard from within the bathroom Dib was in.

There was talking, Dwicky's voice, fiercely angry talking to himself but it was of course one doppelganger talking to another. There was mention of an elevator, something about him and Dwicky escaping on it.

More sounds came, though rather quiet; doppelgangers were swift on their 'feet'. They were splitting up to look for them.

It was a perfect time for Dib to try and make his way out of the bathroom. He walked over to the door, making sure to keep silent as he pressed his ear to it. When he was sure the hallway really was empty that's when he made his way back outside, shutting the door carefully behind himself. He had to get their attention before they made it to the elevator. He hurried towards the stairs, taking as many as he could at a time. He noticed a few of the doppelgangers on the stairwell as he was rounding the very last level and before they could get out the door, Dib leaped over the railing and dropped down in front of them. The danger of the situation didn't really register with him, and instead he went about trying to put his plan into action as he back stepped towards the door. "It's amazing how each of you really do look like him." He made his way out the door that lead towards the elevators. He gave a sideways glance, noticing the rest of the doppelgangers were heading towards it as well, and made sure to speak up so they could hear. "Right down to the silly piercings."

One of the creatures extended an arm to try and claw their way through his stomach, but Dib only side stepped it. He waited for the claw to retract and ignored the hiss he got from the creature for not being impaled. Instead, he went on with what he was saying. "Of course, now that also means you are what you hate, doesn't it?" He shrugged. "And we can't have that. You all may find the high life nice, but killing those with feelings of greed and ego, you're only turning into such people." His eyes narrowed. "It'll come to a point where you'll only start to have yourselves left to feed off of and I know that doesn't work. So, you'll just die off slowly." He smirked. "Do you really want that?"

One Dwicky smirked to the other next to him. "Cocky."

"Isn't he." another finished seamlessly. "Delicious."

A good few Dwickys stopped in their efforts, turning to Dib. They were more than happy to give new chase to the seen person, than to go after the elevator.

"I have a better idea." one spoke up amongst the crowd. "Rather than kill him, let's keep him and feed off that enormous ego he keeps in that large pompous head of his." They leapt from their places, charging towards Dib.

Dib pulled out a larger knife from his belt then the last one he had held before. As soon as one of the creatures got close enough he slit its throat, speaking as if he was doing nothing unusual. "Funny, the only cocky attitude I see seems to be coming from all of you." He shifted his arm to embed the knife in one that went for his side, hitting it in the shoulder, but causing it to back off, pulling his knife out as it did. "So, it seems you all have the wrong targets because I seriously doubt it's my ego that's filling up this room right now."

The one doppelganger held its throat, but it didn't stop the precious life from falling between its fingers. It spasmed, choking, but the body that fell lifeless on the ground wasn't Dwicky; it was a much thinner creature: too-long, wiry arms and legs, genderless as well as faceless, its skin and flesh a sickly, almost transparent wet, fleshy green. The other Dwickys stared with wide eyed in surprise, they hadn't expected Dib to kill an image of his own.

"I guess he doesn't mean as much to you as we thought." The one Dwicky farce held his shoulder, backing up. "No matter."

A sharp pain entered Dib's lower back, and another Dwicky grinned malicious from behind him, arm outstretched, what was a hand now buried in flesh.

"You don't to him either." The other doppelganger spoke again.

The pointed limb shifted back into a hand, still in Dib's side, as it pulled out. The Dwicky farce chuckled in the teen's voice as he shook his hand, sending droplets of red to splatter on carpet and walls.

Dib's eyes had widened as soon as he felt the sudden pain. He tried to get any kind of sound to come out, but all he could manage was a pained noise and that was when the limb was removed. His hands quickly moved to the wound to try and stop any sort of blood flow, but knew it wouldn't help. He narrowed his eyes as best he could on the remaining creatures in front of him as he tried to speak up. "I know you aren't him." With the bit of strength he had, Dib turned sharply to swipe his blade at the doppelganger behind him that had given him the wound.

The creature dodged the attack quite easily; despite the adrenaline rush, Dib's movements were now slower. They mocked his efforts with a cackle, as did the others.

The elevator dinged, alerting all to its presence. The doors opened and the many Dwicky farces moved to look inside. The first let out a loud aggravated noise as he looked inside, the rest did follow, anger scowling on their young fake faces.

"He's not in here!" The first shouted, slamming his palms on the elevator's door frame. "Where is he!?"

"Yoink!" A hand grabbed Dib's arm, yanking him from where he stood to run down the hall, sharply down another.

Dib hadn't been expecting the sudden pull and certainly wasn't as balanced as usual to keep up. He stumbled most of the way while trying to figure out which way was up. His grip on his knife was slipping, so as he ran he tried his best to put it away before he let his eyes linger towards his rescuer. He didn't speak up, though, not trusting his voice for the moment.

Dwicky pulled the man down another hall, practically dragging him along to keep the quick pace, never stopping once until they got to the far stairwell's entrance on the other side of the main level. He opened the door quickly, slipping them both through and directly under the stairs, as far into the shadows as they could. Dwicky let out a sigh as if he'd been keeping it in for a long while. He looked back to Dib. "You okay?"

Dib immediately plopped down onto the floor, not wanting to continue standing for the moment. "I just got stabbed. Does it look like I'm okay?" The words came out harsh and after they were said he mumbled a slight apology under his breath. He hadn't meant to snap at Dwicky, but the sudden turn of events had put him in a bad mood.

Dwicky stayed crouched, moving to Dib with a few easy steps, falling to knees beside him in one smooth motion. "Let me see." His cool fingers pulled Dib's hands from the wound, so he could look it over. "They got you pretty good." He frowned and shook his head.

Dib didn't protest to the feeling of Dwicky's hands. They felt much better than his own nasty bloodied ones. He let his head fall back against the wall and shut his eyes, trying to fight off the sudden dizzy feeling. "I think they got me really good." He barely shook his head before going on. "I should have been more careful. Instead they were able to hit me from behind."

Suddenly, the teen's hands left Dib's, and in one fluent motion Dwicky had taken to straddling the man's lap, feeling so impossibly light. He gave a small sad laugh. "There's an old saying, I think you've heard it, Dib." Both of those cool hands cupped Dib's marred cheeks to keep the man's head upright and looking at him, even if his eyes weren't open. "True friends..." Cold lips neared to whisper equally cold words that were in his own voice, instead of Dwicky's "stab you in the front."

Dib's eyes snapped open before narrowing on the figure in front of him. Despite his bloody hands, he reached into his belt as quick as he could to grab his knife once again. "Good idea." When he had a hold of the weapon, he pulled it out and tried to drive the blade in the creature's stomach.

Dwicky's hand shot out, taking the blade through the palm but still his hand clamped its fingers over Dib's pushing the weapon from his middle. The boy smiled wide and lazy, his thick brows rising. "Dib, partner. Didn't you ever give it much thought?" His other hand stayed at the man's cheek, giving it a few hollow affectionate strokes. "Wasn't it obvious from the start. Why you're here in this building. I thought you would have put two and two together with who, what, I always was. Heh." The teen moved closer moving their hands and the weapon aside, quite personally close, his body so icy cold. "You have the biggest ego of them all." Dwicky's tone hit a husky note.

Dib's eyes fell halfway both out of sudden exhaustion and the actions of the other. His hand had gone a bit slack when it was pushed aside, no longer really keeping a grip on his weapon and only keeping his attention on the one in front of him. "So I've been told." He let out a quick breath, although, whether it was from the pain he felt or having the other body so close even he didn't know. "Somehow I never pegged you for the evil type. It just doesn't suit you." Better to make light of a dangerous situation than full out panic.

"We're good at that, being two faced." Dwicky's hand fell down from Dib's cheek to his neck, tilting the man's head back with a thumb but it was fingertips instead that kissed down the front of his throat. "But I'll be getting what I want soon enough." He pressed closer, leaning in to murmur to Dib's ear. "...All of you."

Dib's breath caught for a moment before he swallowed hard. "You really are greedy, aren't you?" He shut his eyes tightly, once again trying to fight off another wave of dizziness. It didn't seem to help and his eyes tried to keep shut. He was just barely able to get them open and focused on Dwicky as he gave into the touch near his throat without really meaning to. "I guess this will teach me not to trust people so easily next time."

Those cold fingers traced up over the edge of Dib's chin, the hand capturing it as fingers brushed to the corners of Dib's lips, barely tracing on the lips themselves. "There is no 'next time', Dib." Dwicky quietly spoke next to Dib's head. "You only have here and now.. But not for much longer. Your frail human body will kill you, I won't need to lift a finger." Dwicky's finger plopped off Dib's lip, dragging down to his chin, as the teen moved his face so close to the other's. "But, since we're friends, all you have to do is ask.. I'll make it quick." Dwicky's lips perked deviously.

Dib narrowed his eyes at that. He turned his head as best he could away from Dwicky's touches and the small space they had left between them. "No thanks. I'll pass." He tried to get a better grip on his knife once again without the other noticing, but since Dwicky's hand was still besides his own he had a feeling it would be near impossible.

Dwicky's fingers curled over Dib's hand, stretching and snaking around his wrist, his elbow, the fluid arm engulfing Dib's until only the blade could be seen. "Oh no, I think you will." He forced Dib's arm up, directing the knife nearer and nearer to the man's throat. ".. It's very easy."

Dib tried to pull his head away from the blade, but the wall behind stopped him from getting any further away. His eyes darted from the knife up to Dwicky's face. With narrowed eyes he stayed silent, but it was his way of giving into the situation.

"Good boy." Dwicky pet Dib's chin with a thumb. The blade moved closer, the sharp edge so much warmer than the teen's skin as it pressed against Dib's throat.

Something then violently smacked into Dwicky's head, the trauma causing the doppelganger to lose his grip and his disguise, his pale skin shifting to a sickly colour. It was another Dwicky, albeit a more worse-for-the-wear Dwicky that hung from the stairwell's railing that kicked his boots hard into the doppelganger's round faceless head. The creature fell away hard and Dwicky let himself fall down on it, flinching at the pain at his leg. But the teen didn't stop, he walked over, breath quick and ragged, and stomped both feet hard on its head with the rush of adrenaline that surged through him. The creature's head squashed out like some rank grape.

Dwicky staggered away from the mess, his wounded leg from before bandaged with strips ripped from the bottom of his shirt. He stared at Dib with wide panicked eyes. "D-Dib, Dib-!" His hands went to his mouth and when they lowered he gave a horribly nervous and shaken noise that was half a laugh half something else. "I- I- guess plan C didn't work out too well." He hiccupped as he limped towards the other.

Dib had kept as much attention as he could on the scene that played before him. It left him confused and when another Dwicky started walking to him he pointed his knife towards the teen with a weak hand. "Do not come near me." It was a weak threat, but his mind was much too foggy to deal with so much weirdness in one moment. Especially not when he felt like he could pass out at any second.

Dwicky faltered, raising both hands up but they shook too much so he lowered them. "You're bleeding, Dib. I have to bandage it. O-or--- bad stuff and --stuff." He sniffed and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. "Partners, right? Friends, right? Well, we look out for each other. Heh, baby sit each other, remember? And if you have to _stab_ me, to know it's really me, go ahead." He tentatively continued to limp nearer to Dib, and although the point of the knife followed his approach. he still knelt down beside him. "Just let me bandage that wound before you do that." Dwicky pulled off his shirt, taking the already ripped edge in his teeth so he could rip strips from it.

Dib kept his eyes on Dwicky for a while longer, but slowly he lowered his knife back to the floor. Bit by bit he let it go and let his head rest back on the wall again as the teen ripped up his own shirt. He just didn't have the energy anymore. "This whole thing has become a complete disaster. It probably wasn't the best first case to bring you on." He let his eyes close as his voice got a bit lower. "I thought it would be easy. Hmm. Yeah right."

Dwicky crawled over to Dib and shook his head. "No, no, it was a good idea. I-I don't want to think what would happen if I wasn't here, right now especially." His breath shook terribly as he reached over with trembling hands to pull up Dib's shirt. His breath caught seeing just how bad and deep the wound was; so much blood. He folded the rest of his shirt and put it over top of the wound. "H-hold this please while I bandage." Dwicky glanced up at Dib's face and he gave a start. "Dib! Dib you need to keep your eyes open, and you need to stay conscious. Focus on me, and- and talk."

Dib let out an aggravated sound, but gave in and opened his eyes to only slits. One of his hands moved up to keep the shirt in place as he tried to focus on Dwicky as best he could. "Where were you this whole time if you weren't on the elevator when it stopped?" He flinched only a little as he turned his attention towards the beaten doppelganger, while trying not to shut his eyes again. "Especially if that wasn't you."

Dwicky gave a nervous sound that was meant to be a laugh to lighten the mood, it didn't work to well. "Well my spontaneous plan was to push all the buttons to so the elevator would stop at every floor, empty; a nice safe distraction. Then run back and try and find you." He tilted his head, half defeated half trying to see what he was doing as he wrapped the strips around nice, neat and tightly around Dib's middle. "Unfortunately _they_ smashed into the floor before I could get out. So I was trapped inside." He quickly glanced a guilty grin Dib's way. "Hammering the 'close door' button. Turns out those clone babies can't find you when you're scared senselessly. Ego is smashed to bits, they have nothing to track you down by. They rushed right by. I barely made it by the skin of my teeth. The elevator took me up and I got out as quickly as I could, keeping scarce, trying desperately to get back down to regroup with you. I heard me talking to you- So…- here I am." He tied the cloth nice and tight, despite how badly his hands were shaking. "... Guess your plan didn't work out as well as mine did." Dwicky stared at the bandages, through them, the white already turning red.

Dib shook his head, partly trying to get rid of the dizzy feeling in his head as well as an answer to what Dwicky said. "I was hoping I could just get them to turn on each other. If I could have just confused them enough to focus on each other instead of us then we could have been out of here." He paused for a moment to take in a breath before going on. "Tried again at another time." He shrugged as best he could, but it was too much effort, so he gave up. "I guess knowing that they couldn't find you when you were scared helps more than just running around just slashing away at whatever I can hit."

Dwicky gave a weak smile, speaking in a small voice. "As long as you're afraid, or feeling something that isn't for yourself, they can't feed off it. Humbled, yea..-that's it." He wiped his bloody hands off his pants, just to keep himself busy. "But..", the teen skooched a little closer towards Dib, "I guess you're in no condition to be feeling vigorous." He glanced at the mess of what had been his doppelganger. He hadn't caught all that much, but he'd heard enough sneaking down the stairs; he didn't ask what happened.

Dib finally let the shirt fall, no longer having the energy to keep it held in place. He gave another quick glance to Dwicky when the teen moved before he looked back to the doppelganger that was still lying on the floor in front of them. "I've taught myself not to be afraid of a lot of things. When you deal with something like the paranormal you have to be ready for anything. It's hard to be scared of anything anymore." He shut his eyes for only a quick second, trying not to leave them shut for too long. "But, I guess something like near death should teach me to change that little perspective. Especially since I'm not the only one I have to look out for now."

Dwicky shook his head and with a small sound of pain he sat himself beside Dib, leaning against the wall, drawing his legs up to his chest in a loose hug. "It doesn't have to be just fear. As long as it's an unselfish feeling, that's fine." He drew his legs closer, resting his chin on them, giving a half-snorted exhale. "You can feel happy.. if you can here." He pressed his lips against an unbloodied part of his pants, drawing his legs even closer; huddled in their quiet shadow under the stairs.

Despite how bad he felt, Dib let out a very weak laugh at the last few words Dwicky said. "Well, I am at least thankful that you're okay." He shook his head against the wall. "And that you aren't some evil doppelganger out for my blood." He looked to the side, turning his head a bit so he could look at Dwicky once again. "You're hurt too, though, aren't you? I noticed it when we were trying to get away together and just a few moments ago." He shifted around a bit, trying to look the other over as best he could without moving too much. "How bad is it?"

"J-just my leg." Dwicky lifted the aforementioned leg, crossing it over the other and pulling the ripped pant leg to show. "See. I used my shirt to bandage it." He rubbed the unhurt side of his leg before setting it back down. The boy stared at it for a moment before he spoke up again. "I-... I'm sorry for whatever it was I did. Not- not _me_ me- but the me that wasn't me. My image. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that thing bastardized my image to-..." Dwicky shoved himself up to his knees to face Dib, even if putting weight on his leg hurt plenty. "I'm not like that. I'm-- I should have been looking out for you." He couldn't help reaching over to better tug down Dib's shirt over the bloody bandages, his hands so fidgety.

Dib's eyes fell down to watch Dwicky's hands as the teen messed with his shirt. The actions of earlier with the doppelganger ran through his mind and for a few moments it caused him to stare. He had to keep reminding himself that the person next to him was a completely different person from the one that had been invading his personal space earlier. He finally shook his head to try and shake the thoughts away as he settled his head back against the wall, looking up away from Dwicky. "It's not your fault. I should have known you better than _that_." He nodded towards the body on the floor. "You shouldn't have to apologize."

Dwicky took his hands back, resting them on his own lap. "But I am. Sorry I mean. I am." He gently nodded, bringing his gaze up. "And you need a hospital. You've lost a lot of blood. You're coherent, but lethargic, and it's only going to get worse." He gave a weak grin. "You're going to need stitches. We both will." His eyes fell to his lap and the loose thread at a tear in his pants he was picking at. "And ya know how much the girls love a broken hero. Guess I'll be part timing as a bouncer after this. Heh."

Dib turned his head and let his eyes fall back on Dwicky. For a few moments he stayed silent as he stared at the teen. Finally, he reached a hand out, despite how stained it was, and placed it on Dwicky's head. Much like before, he ruffled the teen's hair, but after a couple of seconds he pulled the other to his side and let his arm slip over Dwicky's shoulder. "I'll just close myself up in my house for the next few weeks and tell everyone I'm quarantine. They'll stay away, maybe." He let his head fall back on the wall. "So, you'll be safe from your part time job. Which, I don't think your build would allow for you to take up anyway." He gave a weak smirk.

Dwicky had been a little surprised by Dib's actions, but he easily warmed up to it. He returned Dib's smirk with his own, though his was wider. "I'll lift weights, just for you, and your safety. Buff up. Body build." With an exhausted exhale he let his head gently rest on Dib's shoulder. "... -Or maybe I'll just keep you company while you hide. Cook something decent, so you don't live off of canned goods on your quarantined vacation." He blinked open both his eyes to look up at Dib, grinning just a little. ".. I promise not to wake you up at the crack of dawn." he spoke in a small voice.

Dib looked at Dwicky out the corner of his eyes and gave a small smile. "I guess at the expense of having a good meal, I could deal with getting up earlier than usual." His hand moved up and down the teen's arm as he went on. "Besides, it's better to have your company than just my paperwork and computer." After a few seconds he realized what he was doing and quickly stopped, letting his hand fall back on Dwicky's shoulder.

Dwicky was about to open his mouth when the door to the stair well, directly before them, was thrown open letting in several seething doppelgangers; a few Dwickys and a few Dibs. Without thinking Dwicky threw his arms around Dib's shoulders, clamping one hand over the man's mouth. He pressed close to Dib's side, trying to keep as unseen in the shadow of the stairwell as he could. "...f-fear." he almost inaudibly whispered the reminder in Dib's ear. With fear, they couldn't be tracked out of sight.

Dib had flinched at the sudden weight against him, but when he saw why he tried his best to calm down. He was easily ready to get back in there and try to get rid of each doppelganger himself, but the one simple word Dwicky said stopped him. When he saw how close the creatures were getting and knowing that his injury would just get him killed, for once he let himself feel every bit of fear he should have felt. For both Dwicky and himself. His arm tightened as best it could around the teen, keeping the other close through the ordeal.

Dib could feel the teen shaking, and it was only getting worse with each step nearer the doppelgangers took. Dwicky pressed his head closer to Dib's, holding his breath, but he didn't dare shut his eyes.

The doppelgangers all looked up the stairway.

"They must be on another floor." One of the Dibs growled with impatience. They had obviously been scouring inside the building from top to bottom.

"They better not have gotten outside." A Dwicky farce answered.

All but two doppelgangers leapt up to carry on ascending the stairs, their bodies twisting impossibly for haste.

Dib only let his eyes follow the other doppelganger's movements as they left. When he felt Dwicky start to shake he allowed his hand to move up and down the teen's arm once more just as he had done before. After a few moments he rested his head on top of Dwicky's own, trying his best to calm the other down as he kept watch on the other two doppelgangers.

One of the creatures caught sight of their fallen double and started towards it. For a few moments the doppelganger seemed to hover over the prone form before it actually looked around with narrowed fake eyes. The sight caused Dib to pull Dwicky even closer.

The teen's heart began to hammer hard, it felt like it would escape his throat with one ill fated beat. Fingers clung tightly to Dib's shirt, clenching tighter, tighter with each movement the doppelganger made so near. Dwicky tensed, his lungs burning an ache as they pleaded for a breath that he denied it, it left his cheeks burning and his head in vertigo.

The other joined the Dib doppelganger in examining their fallen comrade.

"They've been here."

"What was your first clue?"

That caused the one to give the other a hard glare.

Dwicky slowly, ever so slowly reached behind him. He was keeping his hearing cocked, baited in his cottony sky headed state. It was one little sound he was waiting for, trying desperately to hear it over the constant thud of his pulse in his ears.

There it was! That loud, slamming click of a door closing above, foretelling the leave of the horde of doppelgangers to another building level.

Dwicky let out the breath he'd been holding, it rattled him just how horribly loud something that was supposed to be quiet could be. The ragged noise caused either doppelganger to jerk around to the sound. Dwicky's mind went blank before instinct slammed over his senses and he yanked out a scratched-up gun from his back pocket, pointing and shooting. But it wasn't a deafening i bang /i that sounded, it was unexpectedly softer. The shot grazed the shocked Dib doppelganger but Dwicky didn't stop and hammered the trigger until one shot smashed through glasses, taking with it the eye in a messy squick. The creature went with the force of the shot, staggering, failing arms that then turned to thin wispy limbs, before it fell dead.

Dwicky gawked but his hand seemed to have a mind of its own separate from his mind. He aimed at the other, firing but the other Dib doppelganger twisted out of the way, destroying the teen's accuracy. And then the inevitable happened, as Dwicky pulled the trigger, a dull click sounded; he was out of ammo. He continued to pull the trigger, holding the gun tighter as if that would cause the gun to reload itself.

The doppelganger grinned disjointedly at the opportunity, and from Dib's image it twisted into Dwicky's and dove towards them to attack.

The whole ordeal had actually shocked Dib to say the least. He hadn't expected Dwicky to do something like that. When he heard the click that the gun made, he knew it meant nothing good, and he turned his eyes on Dwicky just to watch the other. Just as fast, his attention went back to the doppelganger which no longer had his own image. It was just like before. The twisted look of the creature that had been sitting on his lap moments ago, but he refused to be fooled this time. Before he even really knew what he was doing, Dib picked his discarded knife back up, pushing Dwicky away from him, as he stabbed the knife out just as the creature neared.

Blood splattered with the impact, the knife buried deep inside a chin that had no real bone to stop it. Dwicky's identity fell from the creature, as did the creature itself, the knife stuck inside its round head. Though the surprise attack had its consequences, and the thin arms that bore itself down the length of Dib's arm, fell limp with the dead creature.

Dwicky stared, the gun clattered with more of a plastic sound, proving it was just a replica. But all he could do was stare.

Dib ignored the newly required pain and instead pushed the limp body off of him as best he could. He kept his knife imbedded inside the doppelganger as he lifted a foot up to push at the body. As soon as it was away from him, he let out a relieved noise and fell back against the wall when the creature fell on top of one of the other dead bodies on the floor. He immediately moved his eyes towards Dwicky, keeping them on the teen for a few moments before he spoke up as best he could. "You okay?"

Dwicky gave a short ragged laugh and he shook his head, eyes till wide. "I-- I've run out of shirt." he answered quietly. Quickly he scrambled on hands and knees to stagger up on thin legs awkwardly towards Dib. "We're not doing so hot." He went to Dib's side, bracing the man so he wouldn't slide down the wall to the floor. Quickly he glanced to the fallen gun and then back to Dib. "Oh, that. A BB gun my dad gave me for Christmas one day. Thought it would make me more 'manly' or something stupid. It's been kicking around my room for ages. Thought it would come in handy. Since, well, ya know, I don't have the fun custom toys like you." Dwicky started to rip away strips from Dib's already tattering shirt. "You're a tough act to follow." Without thinking he lightly clunked his head down on Dib's chest as he ripped.

Dib looked around the room they were in before he raised a hand to pet the back of Dwicky's head. "Well, I'd say you're doing pretty well so far." His hand fell back down and he gave a heavy sigh while trying not to fall asleep once again. "Quick thinking is good, especially in situations like that. Although, I would rather not have gotten hurt again, but not getting killed is nice too." He tried his best to glance down at Dwicky. " Whether you're doing good or not I still think this is just too much."

Dwicky started to wrap the strips of cloth around Dib's arm, keeping it tight and neat but not too restrictive. He rubbed his own hands after, smearing the blood worse rather than wiping it off, so he just let his hands fall back down. Throughout it all, he never got rid of that weak smile. "Tell you what: we both make it out of here alive, I'll crack out the cook books and make you something extra nice." He raised his head to grin rather cattily up at Dib. "Or I could break out the cash and we could go for some victory drinks. Five shots later you won't care what's wounded, you won't be able to walk anyway." He smoothed his fingers along the bandages, making sure they laid straight.

Dib kept silent and for a while it seemed as if he actually had nodded off. Maybe even gone completely unconscious. It was after a bit longer that he turned his head to look at Dwicky with half lidded eyes, trying his best to sit back up with not much luck. "I think both ideas sound pretty damn good to me." Even with how bad he felt, Dib still managed to lift both of his hands up to touch Dwicky's cheeks, wanting the teen's attention to stay on him. "We'll get out of here, alright. This isn't the only rough situation I've been in." He tried to glance around once more before turning his attention back to the other. "It just might be a little worse than the rest and you had to see it first hand." He dropped his hands, no longer able to keep them up. "So, don't worry so much."

Dwicky gave the smallest of laughs. "It must be the blood loss, 'cause you didn't catch that I'm under-aged." He helped the other to sit properly, kneeling between his legs to keep facing him. "There...-there can't be many left, can there?" He went silent as he tried to recall; there were hundreds, and they'd only eliminated a handful. ".. okay, so maybe there can be." Dwicky furrowed his brows. "It's too hard to fight them one on one. There has to be some way we can take them all out with one blow." He looked at Dib with intense hope. "Right?"

Dib kept his gaze on Dwicky, but after a few moments he shut his eyes. His voice could still be heard, though, as he started speaking. "There shouldn't be too many left. I would imagine the only ones left are what we saw head upstairs." His voice got lower much like it had before a while back as he became tired again. "If we can somehow get them isolated all together in one area that they just have no way of getting out of, maybe we could find someway of destroying them."

Hands lifted Dib's head up, trying not to shake so bad. "No Dib, open your eyes. Keep conscious, keep awake." Dwicky swallowed hard. "I- I'll do it. I'll be the decoy. I'll get them all to chase me. They'll follow me like a heard of sheep, and you can some how get them all in one go." He clutched Dib's face just a little more. "That'll work, right? Right, Dib?"

Dib seemed annoyed for a moment until he felt Dwicky's hands shaking. He tried his best to open his eyes and keep them focused on the teen. The words spoken took a while to actually get through to him, but when they did, Dib shook his head the best he could. "I can't let you do that."

"And I can't let you bleed to death under a stairway." Dwicky huffed. "I'm faster and more agile than you right now. It's the only way to get them altogether." He relented one hand to reach into his pocket to pull out a fake gun magazine. "I'll be armed and dangerous." He gave the magazine a shake and the pellets inside rattled. "Don't worry. I just need you to figure a way to get all of them at once."

It seemed as if Dib would protest once again, but when he saw the magazine that Dwicky held he shut his mouth just as quickly. Instead, he let his eyes travel around the area once again. It took a while before he turned his eyes back on Dwicky. There was still a bit of worry in his eyes as he stared at the teen, finally speaking up to voice it. "I'm going to worry, I can't help it, but I know that no matter what I say you're going to go through with this anyway."

Dwicky gave a winning smile and he drew his fingers down and off Dib's cheek. "I'll be worrying about you more." He smiled a little more, patting Dib's cheek before he crawled away to retrieve his BB gun. He pulled the empty cartridge out and threw it aside to slam the new one in with a palm. He grabbed the top and cocked it in one smooth motion. After he just stared at it thinking a moment, then he looked up to the stairs. "I'll run up to the second floor, make enough noise to get i all /i of their attention. I'll lead them down to the main lobby." Dwicky turned to face Dib. "It's nice and spacious there, no where to run, no where to hide. You'll have a clear shot..for, uh, whatever it is to take them all out."

Dib nodded his head to the information given to him. He looked over all three bodies that were still on the floor, his eyes staying glued on the very first body that had fallen. It took him a bit to let his eyes travel back to Dwicky, keeping his attention on the teen before he finally opened his mouth. "Be careful, alright?"

Dwicky's eyes had fallen to the same corpse, at Dib's words he looked back to the other. He gave a firm nod, putting the gun in his back pocket so he could crawl back over to Dib. "I.. I dunno how you'll know I'm me. They're pretty desperate, so, they'll be trying anything and everything I guess. Just.. -um.. heh, don't aim for the most good looking of Dwickys." He managed a small chuckle, his gaze falling.

Dib smiled a little at that. He turned his attention to the body on the floor for a bit longer, before he raised a hand as well as his eyes, placing a finger under Dwicky's chin to raise the teen's eyes as he spoke. "I may have been caught off guard once, but I won't let them do it to me again. Don't worry about that." His hand lingered a bit before it quickly dropped down to the floor as did his eyes. "I won't be fooled by them and I'll make sure you aren't in the crossfire."

Dwicky nodded, more assured than before. He leaned forward a moment, but seemed to think better of that course of action, and instead leaned back, smiling wide for Dib's sake. "I know you won't let me down." He grinned sheepishly, reaching out to ruffle Dib's hair much like the other had done many a time to raise his spirits. "And I won't let you down." The boy pushed himself up to stand, grimacing at the pain. He gave a stretch of limbs, shaking his feet and wrists out; psyching himself out for the run of his life. He gave Dib a big thumbs-up. "Remember your fear. Let me take care of the pride and ego now. Good luck, partner."

Dib let out a long sigh, trying to get rid of his nerves, but in the end realized it was best for him to keep them. He moved up the wall, using his back for support, and tried his best to smile at Dwicky. "Trust me, on the verge of passing out and worrying over you. I feel _plenty_ of fear right now. You don't have to worry at all about that. Just look out for yourself." He kept his eyes on Dwicky for a little while longer as if contemplating something, but gave up and nodded towards the stairs instead.

Dwicky nodded again and waved as he moved to the stairs, taking the first few. "And you talk after yourself. No passing out." He wagged a finger before turning back to the stairs. Taking in a large breath he ascended the stairs, taking two at a time until he was at the second floor's door. Inhaling another deep breath Dwicky reached out and opened the door, slipping in.

Drinking in that adrenaline Dwicky inhaled deep and bolted forward onto the floor. "HEY! Rubber men! Lose something?" He waved his arms, making a spectacle of himself. "You guys are pretty stupid for centuries-old monsters if you can't even find two people in one building!" He pulled back his lips, sticking out his tongue to make a face, and running away as fast as his legs could currently carry him.

Such a show easily got every single one of the doppelganger's attention. A few that had been searching in rooms quickly made their way outside into the hallway. Each false body began to run after the teen, climbing walls and rails to try and catch up to the other as fast as they could. Some even extended their claws, hoping to get a piece of his body but only catching the wall instead.

"Too slow! You guys are pathetic! No wonder you steal faces- I wouldn't wanna show mine either if I were you!" Dwicky picked up his pace, darting past copy machines and desks to sprint down a clear hallway with doors to separate offices. His leg was hurting, hurting worse with each step, but he didn't stop. He staggered, smashing right into a wall as he made too wide a turn on a corner. With a squeak of boots he pushed off running down the new area. With an out of breath laugh he banged his fist against walls, gaining the attention of searching stragglers; he needed to get everyone of them to follow him. "I've seen rubber bands that were tougher than you guys!"

Halls were soon filled as each room Dwicky ran by more creatures piled out. Each one ready to rip at the teen, trying their best to tear at him in any way they could. Most of them almost hit their target, but just barely missed by literally a hair or even an ear. Their were loud frustrated wails as each miss caused the creatures to try and gang up on Dwicky even faster.

Dwicky threw himself sideways to avoid being impaled through the back. He hissed as the sharp limb grazed his bare back. But he didn't have time to comprehend as his heart nearly stopped as he stumbled, nearly tripped and fell. He barely caught his footing and it was a rush of relief when he continued running. Falling meant his end; the doppelgangers were much too close on his tail for him to fall.

"Damn, there's more than we thought." Dwicky panted. "Shut up Dwicky, now isn't the time to talk to yourself and waste your breath." He grunted at himself for that. "Damnit." But his expression brightened as he caught sight of the stairwell in the not too far distance. He prayed Dib was where he should be with a brilliant plan that meant saving both their hides; better than plan C went.

Dwicky glanced back; they were too close. His pulse raced faster as he forced his exhausted burning muscles to run faster. Barely dodging impalement several times more though the nicks and scratches he wasn't so fortunate to miss he finally reached the stairwell. Dwicky slammed his hands down on the banister to swing his legs up and plunk his butt down on the railing to slide down, letting gravity carry him on the chase. He whisked out the BB gun from his pocket and unloaded the pellets on the nearest of doppelgangers.

Each of the pellets hit their mark, causing loud wails to come from the injured doppelgangers before they fell to the floor below. The creatures that were around the fallen did nothing but stare for a few moments, being cautious, before they continued their chase; hungrier than they were before. A few followed Dwicky's example and slid down the railing, twisting their bodies in a way that their borrowed bodies shouldn't have been able to move.

Away from the scene and waiting in shadows as told, Dib leaned against the wall to keep himself propped up. He had kept himself busy the entire time Dwicky had been away with the small device that was now in his hand. A makeshift device he had put together using what was left on his belt and what he was able to find lying around the building. It was crude, but it worked for what he needed and hopefully when all was said and done it would get rid of them all in one go. All he had to do was wait until the time was right.

"Dib! Dib! Dib! Dib! Dib! Dib! Dib!" A shirtless Dwicky screamed breathlessly as he stumbled out into the entrance of the lobby, but he didn't dare stop. For right after him burst out an angry mob of Dibs and Dwickys all twisting their bodies horrifically to gain on the one they chasing. Dwicky ran out into the open, panic crossing his face. He couldn't see Dib and he was running out of area to run to. "Dib! Dib!! DIB!"

A bandaged arm snuck out and grabbed onto Dwicky, pulling the teen close to a larger body as that same arm snuck around Dwicky's waist to keep the panicked teen in place. Without speaking a word at all, Dib watched the mob that was closing in and when he felt the time was right that's when he threw the device he held in his hand towards them all, but not before hitting a switch on the side of it. The device began to spin around like some deranged top as the last remaining blades and other small stars Dib had left over in his belt became a deadly aerial weapon. The blades kept the weapon up for a good amount of time as it sliced through each of the creatures around it, one by one, having caught them off guard.

When the weapon looked as if it were about to actually stop, Dib tightened his grip on Dwicky and pulled him farther away from the scene. He completely ignored the few remaining creatures, knowing what was going to happen. He turned them both around, keeping Dwicky tucked against the wall as he shielded the other from the sudden small blast that happened seconds after when the blades finally stopped spinning.

Wet flesh and innards splattered the walls, limbs and body parts thrown tumbling with the blast. The screams were brief, choked as the last survivors were destroyed with the impact.

Dwicky pressed against Dib, clinging to him hidden, until the noise died down proving everything else had died with it. When calm greeted his ears, he slowed his ragged breath trying to get his heart to do the same. Slowly he raised his head glancing up at Dib before moving to take a small peek at the mess in the lobby. He wrinkled his nose before looking back up at Dib, clunking his head back against the wall causing him to flinch from the wounds he got from the chase. But not once did the smile on his exhausted expression falter. "My hero."

Dib couldn't help laughing at those simple words. The fact that everything worked out so well caused him to feel so much relief, that he just wanted to give in and pass out where he was, but Dwicky would probably only scold him for it and wake him up. Instead he let his head fall down on the teen's shoulder, wanting to at least rest for a bit before he started moving again. "Well, for a first time you did better than I thought you would." He tried to lift his head, but gave up only after one try. "Of course, I didn't count on the near death experiences."

Dwicky soon was laughing too, small giddy sounds, shaking his thin tired frame. "I guess after this, everything else will be a snap." He raised a hand to softly pet the fuzzy shaved hair at the back of Dib's head, the motions falling down to the back of the man's neck. "And here I believed you when you said Paranormal Investigating was nothing like the movies." The teen let out a heavy breath, leaning completely against the wall, resting his head against Dib's. "Everything worked out just as it should... Except you didn't win the heart of the shampoo commercial model." Dwicky tsked jokingly before he chuckled.

The hand on the back of his head had caused Dib to slowly become a bit more drowsy, but with Dwicky's last few words he was able to stay more alert. He kept his gaze on the wall as he thought over what had actually happened over the past few hours. That one small incident went over his head again and he felt like if he didn't do something about it he would go insane. He could always blame the blood loss if everything went horrible. With that in mind, Dib was finally able to lift his head to look down at Dwicky. He looked over the teen's face for a few moments, before he leaned forward to close the space between them, pressing his lips against the others.

Dwicky didn't squeak any surprise, or embarrassment, nor object in anyway, his mind easily shutting off again to welcome Dib's actions. Without thinking he pressed back against Dib's lips, eager to return the kiss. His hand ran down Dib's neck again, gripping the back collar of the man's shirt loosely. He took the comfort in the touch, the closeness, needing it after such a traumatic ordeal; taking it in that spontaneously offered moment without question.

Dib hadn't been expecting to get the reaction he wanted, but didn't dare protest to it. He opened his mouth to the kiss and licked at Dwicky's tongue before he tried to press further into the kiss. His arms rose up to pin hands on either side of Dwicky's head against the wall, his one arm shaking slightly due to his injury, but he paid it no mind.

Dwicky made a small pleased noise as he continued to make small mewed noises. He obliged Dib's mouth with his own as he lapped his tongue against the others, drawing his tongue stud along the edge of Dib's tongue. His other hand rested on Dib's chest, rubbing up and down a moment before his fingers loosely clung to his shirt.

As soon as he felt fingers pulling at his shirt, Dib leaned in a bit closer to Dwicky. He couldn't help trying to curl his tongue around the metal that was hidden inside the other's mouth, letting his tongue move around it for a few seconds. As soon as he had his fun with that, Dib finally pulled away, having to catch his breath quicker than usual because of the stress on his body. It didn't stop him from sucking at the teen's lip which held more metal.

Dwicky let out a shaky breathless exhale, but he didn't want to open his eyes or acknowledge anything just yet. He pursed his lips, letting Dib play at his bottom lip and piercing while he kissed what of Dib's lips he could. A slow, lethargic smirk spread across his lips. "... I'll call nine-one-one for you." His wit and intelligence took an odd moment to show itself again.

Those words had Dib stopping for a second. He seemed to realize that he wasn't in the best of shape and needed help, but those thoughts left just as soon as they entered. "Mm-hm." It was the only real coherent thing that came from his mouth before he was back to moving his tongue over the silver ring in Dwicky's lip. Soon after, he trailed a few kisses down the teen's chin.

Dwicky let out a breathy whimper instead of real words, clunking his head back against the wall, reminding himself that only minutes ago he was subjected to a few deathly hair cuts. "...ow." he murmured in delay, leaning his head back to give Dib more area to kiss. ".. Your cell better not be in your coat." The teen let out a small giddy laugh when Dib kissed over a bit of ticklish skin. He ran his fingers through Dib's hair, while his other slipped down to the other's pants, trying to be as innocent as he could searching pockets for the phone; that didn't work out too well.

Dwicky's searching hand caused Dib to let out a low moan against the teen's skin as he kissed along his neck. One of his hands moved away from the wall to reach around and search around his back pocket. In moments he pulled out the small phone and pushed it into Dwicky's hand, although he did let his fingers linger a bit before completely pulling away. When they did, his hand fell down to Dwicky's chest, running down to the teen's stomach as he continued licking at skin.

Dwicky almost dropped the phone, forgetting for a moment it was even in his hand. It was hard to concentrate past Dib's affectionate mouth. He grasped the collar of Dib's shirt again, tugging him nearer, encouraging that mouth. His other arm draped on Dib's shoulder, barely keeping hold of the phone. Dwicky's eyes opened, and he stared blankly up at the ceiling, trying to recall what he should be doing again. He gave a low throaty noise, and then laughed huskily. "Uh.. Dib? What's the number for nine-one-one?"

Dib gave a small laugh against Dwicky's skin, licking at one of the spots he had abused. He gave another tiny nibble before he pushed up to press his lips against Dwicky's a second time. The kiss was quick, though, and when he pulled away he moved his hand up once more to take the phone back. He flipped the lid open and only took a quick glance at it to dial the three digits before he pressed the phone back into Dwicky's hand. As soon as that was done, Dib went right back to what he was doing, moving his lips towards the teen's ear.

Dwicky put the phone to his other ear but couldn't contain the giddy moan he gave when Dib attacked his ear, it was also the exact time the operator decided to pick up. He clapped a hand over his mouth and his cheeks burned with embarrassment, it caused him to giggle horribly. "H-hi. This is Dwicky--" He squirmed with another laugh, murmuring for Dib to quit it. "No-! No don't hang up! This isn't a prank call. Dib is seriously hurt and he--.. Yes. THE Dib." Dwicky rolled his eyes with a smirk. "I dunno." His eyes flicked down on Dib's person. "Some kinda stab wound." He reached down, tugging the bottom of Dib's shirt up to look at the makeshift bandage. But his hand didn't stop, it slipped under the other's shirt, smoothing up and down.

Dib didn't let up at all, if anything Dwicky's small bit of protest caused him to attack the teen's ear with a rough bite. Right after, he licked at the spot, being just as gentle as before. He leaned into the hand that touched his skin, giving a small noise at the touch. It was soothing compared to all the pain he felt earlier. It caused him to press closer to the other's body, wanting more contact between them.

Dwicky bit his lip to keep the sounds in, closing his eyes a moment to collect himself, but Dib wasn't giving him that privilege. He chewed on his piercing, trying to concentrate on what the operator was saying but it wasn't working out too well. "Ughhnnn...-some kinda.. office building thing place. Mmm- lower -No! I mean." Dwicky whined Dib's name, squirming as he pressed back against the wall. "Th-that office building in town. No, the other one."

"Quiet..." Dib whispered the small command against Dwicky's ear while trying not to grin. The teen's earlier spoken words weren't ignored and soon Dib was moving his mouth lower. He kissed a trail down Dwicky's neck, to his shoulder, straight to his chest while letting his hand run along the other's stomach once again. It was fun to tease while the other tried to hold a conversation.

Dwicky made a low frustrated noise in his throat, putting a hand over his mouth again. He bit his knuckle a moment to ground himself before speaking again. "I'm here. Y-yess. Oh yessss. That's a yes." He buried his fingers in Dib's hair, loosely grasping it, arching from the wall. "So very a yes. With tongue." Dwicky's eyes snapped open. "I mean- uh..-just send an ambulance over godamnit!" With an aggravated grunt he tossed the phone.

Dib ignored the loud noise the phone made as it landed on the floor, too busy with the body in front of him to care. He gave more small licks to skin as his hand moved lower towards jeans. After a bit he moved his head back up, stealing another kiss since Dwicky no longer had to talk, planning to keep his lips on the teen for as long as he could with their remaining time alone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Fanboy**

By Kitteh and Neofox

**Rating** R

**Warnings** Fanboys and girls, violence, gore, swearing and plenty of gay fun

**Disclaimer** Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim. So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM! We just want to borrow Dwicky and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.

**Summary** AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.

**Beta** Heartless7

Chapter 04

The steady beeping of a few monitors in one simple room made it clear that what was once a scary situation was now a stable one. Among white tiled floors and white painted walls, two beds were placed near each other where the newest occupants of the city's hospital lay. Both had been taken care of as needed, stitches and every bit of bandaging up handled. The only sudden real trauma was the horde of media that had decided to burst into the room, immediately asking a good amount of questions at once. Needless to say it had woken Dib up from his groggy state and for a while he only stared at the crew, trying to hear at least one question without seeming too annoyed.

One of the reporters in the back pushed her way forward while holding up a tape recorder. Her free hand moved up to flip her hair back, preening as she pushed her way completely to the front. She paid no mind to the annoyed looks given to her by the other media personal as she finally focused on making her voice known. "Dib! Won't you tell us how such a serious injury occurred? How long will it take you to get back to full health? Did you get pictures of the event?" The recorder was stopped for all of a split second as the next question was asked. "Are you free later?"

All Dib could do was stare before he finally gave a groan. He tried to move down and bury himself in his blankets, but it didn't seem to work. The bed was only so big and it caused him to curse his height at such a moment.

"Back off!" Dwicky pushed himself up to sit as best he could, mind his leg still numb from stitching. He glowered at the reporters, waving sharply in dismissal. "We've been through one helluvah fight. You guys could show some courtesy and let the man have some rest." He pointed to the door with a scowl. "He's worn himself out." Dwicky could feel his cheeks grow hot at that statement. "He fought hard and bravely for you people. The least you can do is let Dib shut his eyes for a few hours so he can save you idiots yet again from something else later on." Dwicky thought about beating the nosey media with his pillow, but it was serving as a better prop to keep himself sitting up instead.

There was dead silence after such words from the teen as the media turned all eyes on him. Some of the reporters seemed to narrow their eyes on him, but just as quickly their interest was hooked. The spot in front of Dib's bed was quickly vacated and instead, Dwicky's bed was surrounded. Questions of 'Who are you?' 'Did Dib save you?' 'How does it feel to be in the presence of such a hero?'

Dib tried hard not to laugh, but it was an amusing sight. Especially since he was usually on the receiving end of such treatment. It was also nice to suddenly have it pushed on someone else. So, he sat back and allowed himself to enjoy the show at least a little bit, trying not to make it seem too obvious that he thought it was funny.

Dwicky sat back, taken aback. He was frozen between shying away, hiding under the blankets like Dib had before or beating back the horde of reports back with the hospital bedding. He pulled the blankets higher up on his chest as his eyes darted from person to person. These people were more vicious and scary than the doppelgangers were. "I'm... uh... I'm Dwicky." He half smiled, quite unsurely. "Dib's... new partner?"

Those words seemed to stop the sudden questions once again and for a moment the reporters were pretty much speechless. A few turned their eyes back to Dib, but just as quickly turned back to Dwicky. One in the back seemed a little disappointed over the whole ordeal. It was only one person that finally spoke up, having to push their way to the middle to be seen. "Are you really qualified for such a job? Was any of this your fault?"

"Yes to the first one and no to the second." Dib had spoken up for Dwicky, knowing how demanding the media could get if they didn't get what they wanted. "Pretty much trial and error. A lot of error actually. There was no real blame on either of us. He did very well for such a big case." He turned his attention back to Dwicky, ignoring the sudden swarm of reporters that had decided to hang on his every word.

Dwicky slowly looked to Dib, meeting his gaze. He gave a small smile at that, looking down at his lap his smile broadened as he fiddled with the blanket. "There were hundreds of them!" Dwicky suddenly spoke up, throwing his hands out for dramatization. "Far more than we thought. All eager to skewer us with their long pointy limbs." He grinned, giving the media finally what they wanted to hear. "They came at us in vicious herds; a whole herd of Dibs and Dwickies. But we weren't fooled one bit, not once." Dwicky flashed Dib a grinning glance. "We barely escaped with our lives, but in the end we pulled a trick of our own. I lead the mass, putting my life on the line to decoy, getting them altogether. Dib then finished them off." Dwicky felt his cheeks warm again, knowing full well what happened after that; quite tactfully omitted.

Finally being told the whole story, the reporters couldn't help but to cling to every single detail. Some had the annoying job of writing most of what Dwicky said down, while the rest had their recorders hovering just in front of the teen, staring wide-eyed at him and taking in all he had to say. As soon as the story was done the questions started up again. Such things as, 'Aren't you a bit young for such a dangerous job?' 'Did you ever fear for your life?' 'What's a doppelganger?' 'How did you sustain such injuries?' It all started to blend together after a bit.

Dib couldn't help shaking his head at it all. He didn't think they would ever run out of questions to ask, it seemed like they had a continuous pile of them for every situation. Although, it seemed like Dwicky suddenly didn't mind the attention and as long as it was kept on the teen and not him, Dib didn't really mind it either.

"No. Escaped leg impalement. I was hand picked! He saw my potential, and- No, no I didn't. I fed him a sandwich." Dwicky grinned, answering each question as he could pluck them out from the drone of the rest. It was hard not to be captivated by the attention, it fed the ego much too well. "It's a greedy greasy creature that steals your identity and lives off the spoils. They're very lazy, so they're probably your boss." He laughed, though the rest of the media gave an uneasy laugh at that as they eyed each other suspiciously. "Anyway, we need our rest. So, be a nice little group of reporters and gooo." Dwicky pointed to the door again. They got most of what they wanted; he hoped they'd leave them alone now.

There was obvious disappointment at that and a few of the reporters turned their attention towards Dib, hoping to get a few more words with him. He wasn't much help either and only waved a hand towards the door himself, refusing to answer anything else. With collected groans and noises of aggravation each of the reporters turned away from the beds and started to walk out of the door, almost getting caught in it considering how many there were.

As soon as the very last one left the room and the heavy door slammed closed, Dib settled back in his bed. He turned his attention away from the door and instead on Dwicky, giving the teen a small grin considering what just happened. "See? Not a moment's peace with those guys. I could probably be on my death bed and they'll be asking me if I think the jello in this place tastes good."

Dwicky laughed, flopping down on his side to face Dib, minding the gash on his back and shoulder. "_Is_ it any good?" He grinned as his eyes fluttered closed, the pain killers they gave him made him so sky headed and relaxed. "At least the drugs they give you here are great." He went completely lax, looking far too comfortable on a hospital bed. "I feel neat." he added in a spacey tone.

"That, I'll have to agree with." Dib moved his one arm up that had been stitched and bandaged up by the doctors. "I can't really feel a thing. It's like I never even got hurt. Although, that will go away and I'll regret ever moving." He let his arm drop back down. "As for the jello, it tastes like dirt." He settled back against the pillows as he turned his eyes back on Dwicky, giving the teen a small smile.

"Then I will not eat the jello." Dwicky answered in the same space tone. "Even though I really like jello." Slowly he opened his eyes to look at Dib. "That was awesome. That entire mission was awesome. You were awesome. I was awesome. We were awesome. It was so very awesome." He softly smirked. "And even though we resemble Swiss cheese, we totally kicked their butts in. i That /i was awesome." He pointed only to have his hand flop back down.

Dib let his eyes linger on the teen for a few moments. The way Dwicky was acting was actually amusing, but Dib knew he probably wasn't any better. Of course, he couldn't let what the other said go by without some words of his own. He leaned forward, pleased in that moment that their beds were close enough, and reached his better arm out to touch one of Dwicky's fingers that hung off the bed. "Awesome is a good word for the entire thing."

There was a sudden knock on the door that disrupted them and it caused Dib to pull his arm back just as quick while giving an aggravated noise. He tried to once again bury himself under the blankets hoping that they would just get the hint and go away. "Damn media." Another knock came again, proving that whoever it was would not allow them any peace.

Dwicky wiggled his fingers, disappointed his fun ended before it started. With a groan he rolled half on his back. "WE DON'T WANT ANY!!" He started coughing after, the screaming a little too rough on his throat. But the knocking persisted anyway. "... Fine! FINE! Come in!" Dwicky laid flat on his back, going limp and giving up. "... They better have some good jello."

The door opened with almost a creak as soon as the knocking finally stopped. This time around it wasn't some reporter or squealing fan that poked their head into the room, but instead, it was a thin teenager that looked as if they got lost on their way to the morgue. Eyes that were covered with pink tinted glasses looked around the room before they landed on Dwicky and that was when the teen walked completely in, letting the door shut behind him. A hand with painted nails moved up to push hair aside from one eye, but it only fell back again. The boy didn't seem to mind, too busy looking the other over and completely ignoring the other body in the room, before he started to speak. "What are you doing in this place?" The question was asked in such a drab tone that one would question whether the teen seemed to actually care at all for the situation.

Dib had been peeking his head out from the covers, ready to hide as best he could if need be. The sudden scene caused him to pull the blanket completely down as he became curious. Dwicky had told him he didn't really have friends, so to see someone actually addressing the teen at the hospital of all places was surprising to him. Unless it was a family member, but the looks just seemed way off on that scale. The other's tone of voice also caused him to listen in more.

Dwicky's good humour dropped and his smile left him as he seemed to pale at the sight of his new visitor. Then his cheeks grew warmer against his will as he gave a slight nervous laugh. He carefully pushed himself to sit up again. "Phisty! Hi. I was attacked by doppelgangers." He shrugged, speaking as if it were the most normal of things and tried to grin, but it was awkward since the other teen wasn't going to return it. "They cut me a good few times. But I managed to escape with my life intact" Dwicky paused, the tension was obvious. "Remember? I told you about my first mission... -as _thee_ Dib's new partner." He pointed Dib's way, but the hand faltered and fell back to the bed. His cheeks were growing hotter, and the blush was spreading to the back of his neck.

The name Dwicky used seemed to rub the other teen the wrong way for a moment and he let out a small sigh before rolling his eyes. "Doppelgangers, sure." He shrugged his shoulders a bit in response to Dwicky's last few words while moving to sit on the side of the bed. "I must not have heard you." He still didn't look Dib's way, too busy with moving a hand across the bed towards Dwicky's face to push the teen's own hair aside, looking over the few scratches there. "That looks nasty." The words were said with a small fascination as his eyes trailed the cuts.

Dib couldn't help narrowing his eyes as he watched the two. Especially that one hand the other boy used to keep Dwicky's hair aside. It was a little too close for Dib's liking at the moment, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he figured it was just the pain killers messing with his head for the time being.

Dwicky gave a small 'heh' as his gaze went somewhere else. "You're so morbid." he commented off handedly, as if he'd said those three words many a time. He stayed perfectly still, uncomfortably, as the other teen inspected his battle wounds with more interest than hearing the actual battle itself. "... This meant a lot to me." Dwicky quietly spoke up, trying to keep the hurt in his voice down that Phisty didn't show any interest. "The least you can do is pretend to care, Phisty."

Phisty dropped his hand back down after those words and turned his attention back on Dwicky's actual face instead of the cuts the teen had gotten. Once more he shrugged and looked away for a moment just as the other teen had as he spoke up. "I see no real point in any of that stuff, you know that Dwicky." He looked back at the other and raised a brow over his glasses. There was silence for a bit before he leaned forwards, almost closing the gap between them, but spoke up just inches from Dwicky's lips. "At least I came to visit you. Don't be sore with me." He let his tongue move out to run over Dwicky's lips.

Hands clutched at a blanket much too tight as Dib watched the scene play out. He felt so much anger in that moment and didn't even know who to direct it at, all because of one simple move by the other teen. Dwicky hadn't bothered to tell him at all about having a boyfriend, or whatever this Phisty person was to him. That alone ticked him off, but at the same time, just watching the other teen touch Dwicky angered him worse and made him wish he still had his weapons on him.

"Phisty!" Dwicky pushed the other teen away. He stuttered a moment, blushing harder if it were truly possibly. "This is a hospital. You have no respect." He quickly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, never daring to give Dib a glance. "I almost died, and you want to stick your tongue down my throat." Dwicky groaned internally, he and Dib had just the same idea after their battle. He rubbed his face with both hands, what a situation he'd gotten himself into. "Phisty... -Phisty this is Dib. My partner in paranormal investigation." Dwicky gestured to the other in bed beside him. "D-Dib...-this is Mephistopholina. M-m-mmm...-my... -my..." Dwicky slowly lowered both hands to barely look at Dib's feet under the covers. He loosely gestured towards Phisty. "…my boyfriend." he finished very quietly.

Phisty hadn't been very happy to be pushed away, but settled for the small introduction instead. He finally turned his attention away from Dwicky and towards Dib, letting his hands fall around the other's waist as he did. "That's him? If he's as great as you claim him to be, then why is he in a hospital bed too?" After the words left him, Phisty leaned forward to lick at the few cuts that hadn't been bandaged on Dwicky's face.

If looks could kill, Phisty would have exploded right where he sat, but the least Dib could do was try his best to glare at the teen and hope he got the hint. "Sorry, not all of us can be completely perfect." He tried to tear his eyes away, but it was like a train wreck. Not to mention at any given moment he felt like going in there and pulling the other off of Dwicky. "I'd like to see you take on a horde of doppelgangers and their pointy limbs and we'll see how long you last." He was being snappy, but didn't really care. Not even when the words earned him a glare right back.

Dwicky made a low sound of disgust. "That isn't sanitary, Phisty." He murmured and flinched as he rubbed the licked cuts. He felt so uncomfortable in the other teens arms, pegged down by Dib's angry gaze on Phisty. At that moment he wished his wounds had been fatal so he could escape the tense situation. "Cut him some slack, Phisty, he's done so much for this little planet. He's saved it numerous times, discovered countless things, uncovered many myths- and he's given me a great honor in giving me this chance to work beside him." Dwicky lightly beat a fist against Phisty's chest, as if that would drive the words to home. It made his skin prickle and heart race to let loose such sentimentality in front of either, but the pain killers loosened his tongue and removed inhibitions of emotional sorts. "..This is what I wanna do. Like you and your writing."

Phisty turned his eyes back to Dwicky at the words and bit of poking to his chest. The frown that was usually on his face deepened and he slowly shook his head as he sighed. "Dwicky, my writing and this stuff that you like to believe in are totally different. There's so many explanations for half of these, para-whatever, scenarios. You're wasting your time." He moved a hand to run a finger up Dwicky's chest slowly. "I tell you this all the time. There's no point."

Dwicky's words had caused Dib to actually calm down little by little. He hadn't been expecting to hear such things come from the teen's mouth and was a little touched to say the least that the other would come to his defense. His sudden good mood didn't last long, though. As soon as Phisty spoke up Dib could feel his anger coming back, but it was no longer directed at Dwicky. Every bit of it was towards the teen that would just not stop touching _HIS_ partner.

"And I suppose we just cut ourselves up and made the entire story up." Dwicky scoffed, glancing down to the touch on his chest. "You should have seen it, Phisty." He placed either of his hands on the other teen's shoulders and gave him a weak shake. "Hundreds, thousands, millions! And they all looked like us! They would do this-" he waved his arm, splaying out his fingers mimicking the gestures the doppelgangers had made with less coordination and grace "and it would just- stretch out! Zoom! Sharp- and deadly- and- and we got them all!" Dwicky clutched at the other's shirt giving him another weak shake. He tried to grin but the other's somber expression had his own faltering. "We defeated them. Go to the office building, a few chopped up corpses is proof, right? I squished one of their heads with a face stomp. It's _real_." Dwicky scowled. "I tell _you_ this _all_ the time."

Phisty seemed to narrow his eyes for a second, but just as quickly his expression was neutral again. "I hate when you call me that." It was obvious he was referring to the nick name, not going into the actual argument that had been started. After the words left him, Phisty looked away, but kept his hands near Dwicky. "It's all ridiculous. Monsters that can turn into other people. You watch too many of those stupid movies." He turned his eyes back to the other and leaned in once more to place a lingering kiss on Dwicky's lips before he spoke up again. "Look at you all messed up, over pretty much nothing."

A low growl escaped Dib that he wasn't able to contain anymore. As soon as he realized it, he tried his best to cover it up by clearing his throat and hoped it worked. Phisty didn't seem to notice, but at the same time the teen was too busy climbing all over Dwicky to probably care. "Such a charmer." There was so much sarcasm dripping from those few mumbled words and that time a small glance was shot his way, but he ignored it.

Dwicky made a low aggravated noise. Phisty wasn't listening at all and it grated Dwicky more than anything else. He glanced at Dib for a split second and was happy the other didn't meet his gaze. ".. I'll be fine, thanks." he muttered to Phisty, letting his hands fall back to the bed. Dwicky was silent a moment, taken to rubbing his forehead to think straight past the frustration and medication. "Do my parents know where I am? Did you tell them?" Wearily he looked at Phisty, knowing he'd get the same disbelieving treatment from his folks.

"How do you think I found out?" Phisty shrugged and finally pulled back, giving Dwicky space. "They heard the news on television. Something about that guy and someone else getting hurt." He pointed towards Dib for only a split second before he let his hand fall back down. "Your mom remembered something about you getting all excited over some job or something with him. Something like that. So, she called me up and all of us came here." He tried to push his hair back again, but much like before it fell right back where it had been. "They're downstairs in the waiting room. I told them I was going to check and see if you were awake."

When Phisty backed off it calmed Dib down once more, but he still didn't move his eyes away from the teen. He knew at any moment Phisty could get touchy feely again and he didn't like it. The talk about parents caused him to raise a brow, but it was the only bit of interest he showed in the conversation, too worried about other things.

Dwicky shifted back down onto the bed, pulling the covers over his head. "Well I'm not." Came muffled words from underneath. "I'm exhausted and very traumatized." He grumbled for a few, his good mood plummeting with Phisty's visit. "I really shouldn't be having visitors, I need rest and healing. You should go back down and tell them I'm alive and kicking." He peeked a narrowed eye at Phisty. "Tell them I want green jello too."

Phisty seemed aggravated at Dwicky's sudden behavior, but he shrugged it off just as quickly. He moved forward on the bed to try his best and get a last kiss in, but was only able to press his lips to Dwicky's forehead. "I guess I'll see you later then. I'll try to visit you again before you actually get out." He got off the bed, sending one more glance towards Dib. His expression never changed as he turned his attention back to the door, once more trying to move his hair aside as he finally left the room.

It wasn't until Dib was sure the teen was completely out of sight that he let all of his anger out in one long string of curses. He still refused to meet Dwicky's gaze, looking instead at the wall in front of his bed, finding it to be the safest thing at the moment. The silence was so tense when he stopped speaking, but he just had no clue what to say without snapping at the other.

Dwicky pulled the covers tighter over himself, hidden under the awful scratchy turquoise sheets. The silence was long, even it was just seconds that ticked by barely making minutes. But Dwicky couldn't keep silent. There was a pang there inside him that was caused by something other than holding his breath for so long. "... Why'd you do it?" his voice was small and shaky from under the covers. "Why'd you... kiss me?"

Dib narrowed his eyes a bit as soon as the questions left Dwicky. For a while he stayed quiet, but he knew he couldn't do that for long. He still didn't want to look at the teen and kept his gaze on the wall as he finally answered, trying to keep his voice steady. "Something happened with that doppelganger you stomped to death. It was before you got there. It tried to convince me you were evil, yes, but there was a moment that I just sort of forgot about that and almost gave into what it was trying to do." He finally turned his eyes away from the wall, but dropped them to the blankets instead. "It made me think about some things. It's amazing how normal I'm able to feel around you. Compared to all of the media and fans, I've forgotten when I was able to just be Dib and not the hero people know me for." He finally looked over to Dwicky, trying not to show any emotion as he did, but it was hard not to still seem a little upset over the whole ordeal. "I was hoping maybe even if it was a double, you actually would return some kind of affection." He gave a weak laugh as he looked back down. "I guess it was stupid considering you were completely different from a doppelganger, but it still seemed to turn out okay at the time."

Dwicky didn't pull down the blankets."... I heard what it said. What you said." he spoke up after a moment, quietly. "I didn't see... but I heard." He finally pulled the blankets off his head and propped himself up with a pillow. He stared at his bandaged leg and tried to wiggle his toes but everything felt too numb, they only twitched. Dwicky let out a heavy sigh, and he let his head rest against his palm. "'I'm sorry' won't cover this, but... I never expected stuff; this, that. I wasn't being sneaky, or under handed. All I've ever been with you is honest." His smile was so weak it was almost sad. ".. You're one of the few that I've ever been that honest to." Dwicky turned on his side facing Dib, hugging a pillow to his chest. "I always thought you were outta my league." he continued quietly, giving a sad smirk. "That you already had some super famous super model girlfriend. Or that you were dating the chick from the movie. I didn't even think you liked g--" Dwicky cleared his throat, and glanced to something unimportant across the room. "Maybe it's for the best. The media would eat you up and spit you out if they found out about-… Mm. Dwicky. Stop rambling." He buried his face with a groan in the pillow.

A small frown came to Dib's face as he kept his eyes down on the bed. "I can't always let the media try and control me." He shook his head. "Obviously this wouldn't be safe media material to begin with, but sometimes I'd just like to have my own life no matter what." He raised his head again, looking at the teen even though his face was buried. "Besides, you weren't protesting that much at the time. What would have happened if I never actually saw that guy?"

Dwicky made a small noise, muffled by the pillow. He turned his head away from it so he could speak. "I'd tell you." He finally then looked at Dib, tentatively. "About Phisty. A much less messy introduction than what just happened. ...-though I think you'd still glare a hole straight through his head all the same." He tried to make light with a chuckle but it died quickly in his throat. "He's not all that bad..." he defended weakly, his gaze falling from Dib's face.

"Oh no, he's not bad at all." Dib seemed to be getting quite good at the sarcasm lately, but this time he quickly shut his mouth afterwards. He turned his eyes away from Dwicky and back to the wall. He hadn't meant to be snappy, but those last words the other said angered him. He felt like if he didn't keep quiet again then he would just go off.

Dwicky's lips tweaked in amusement. "Sure, he can be narrow minded at times, but who isn't. Everyone else just calls me 'crazy' anyway." He stared at nothing in particular. "He may not have the same beliefs as me, or share my interests but... at least he acknowledges me... in his own ways." The teen's voice petered off.

Dib's fist clenched under the blanket at that. It felt like such a blow and he had to stop himself from actually asking 'what about me?' it only would have made him sound like a whiney two year old. Instead, he only shrugged his shoulders while continuing to look away, trying to act as calm as he could over the situation. "I guess if you don't really mind that sort of thing."

"We've been dating for over a year now... So I guess I don't." Dwicky solemnly cuddled the pillow closer, letting his dark hair fall into his eyes. "When you're an out cast, and specifically all about the male gender, heh, you aren't particularly picky. Hi-skool is vicious about things that don't fall under 'The Norm'." Dwicky glanced at Dib, noticing the tension. He gave a small wry smile. "And didn't you say I was too young?"

Dib blinked his eyes at that and finally turned them back on Dwicky. It took him a few moments to answer, but when he did he gave a tiny smile. "I also said I wasn't interested in anymore relationships, but that didn't seem to stop me either, did it?" His smile fell just as quickly and he looked away again, staying silent once more as he picked at a thread on the blanket.

Dwicky made a sound of acknowledgement. "It's nice to know I wouldn't have been a one time fling." he spoke quietly. He looked away as well. "... that would have been just too heart breaking." he added even more quietly.

Dib swallowed hard as he continued to pull at the one single thread causing a tiny bit of the fabric to finally tear. He didn't worry too much about it. His mind was on too much else to worry about a little hole. "So..." The word was quiet, but his voice got louder as he went on yet still shaky. "You really love him I guess."

That had Dwicky's eyes snapping open wide as he looked at Dib. "L-love?" The shock was easy to hear. "I dunno about 'love'.'Love' is such a strong word." He glanced away, his brows furrowing. "'Love' implies that I want to marry him and birth his hideous Hell love spawn." He moved his hand like a fish in gesture of the love children. "No. It's not like that. It's not like that at all." He crossed his arms over his chest like something of the dead. "Phisty cares more about his poetry of ache, pain, suffering and darkness than anything else. And, well, you can see first hand what I'm caught up in." It was a relationship of convenience, but Dwicky didn't say that aloud.

Dib turned his eyes back on Dwicky at such information. He opened his mouth to speak, but just as quickly he closed it, not really sure what he wanted to say yet. He looked away again while he moved a hand up to run it through his hair, hoping that helped in some way. "Then why bother with any of it? What does any of it matter? It seems like a year of nothing if that's the case..." He trailed off and let his hand fall back down. He was trying to grab for anything and knew he probably wouldn't be successful, but he just didn't want to give up.

Dwicky stared at the ceiling and loosely shrugged. ".. It was better than being lonely I guess."

Dib held his tongue and kept silent. Instead, he gave a sigh and tried his best to bury himself further into the blankets. He gave one last sideways glance to Dwicky, but didn't speak up again. He moved his eyes away and settled them on the wall once again, letting the silence fall over them once more.

Dwicky closed his eyes, feeling the weight of his fatigue. For a moment he debated about actually taking up that sleep he'd went on about to Phisty. But he didn't. "Still going to hole yourself up in your house? Hm. Cuz I still owe you that meal, considering we made it out alive and all. Mm. And we still need to go out for a celebratory drink." He turned his head, looking at Dib. ".. If yer still up for it."

Dib almost visibly flinched at that, but was able to keep himself in check. The situation would be very awkward from now on, at least from his own stand point. He didn't know how to answer that. He wasn't really up for it, but he didn't want to say no, either. "Sure, that's fine." In the end he figured it was just easier to say yes, and in the shortest way possible.

Dwicky pressed his lips together, Dib's lack of enthusiasm was disappointing. With a small grunt he turned onto his other side, back to Dib, pulling the blankets up to his shoulder. ".. I guess I'll just wait until you're in better condition. Alcohol and pain killers, not a good combo. Heh... and I'm sure you want your rest." He curled up, leaving his bandaged leg outstretched. Closing his eyes, it was his turn to fall silent.

Dib kept his eyes on the wall for much longer as he thought over a few things in his head. It was after that time that he spoke up again, hoping that Dwicky was still awake to actually answer him. "You didn't mind it, did you? All of the stupid hero and fan stuff aside. Did you feel anything at all, even if it doesn't matter?" He knew it was a risk to ask such things, but at such a point he didn't care.

There was no answer back. In the silence footsteps of passing nurses and other patients in the hall could be heard. It seemed Dwicky had indeed fallen asleep.

"No..." Dwicky did actually speak up, though almost inaudibly so, "and yes."

Dib let out another long sigh. He suddenly regretted knowing the answer because it hurt worse since nothing could be done. He tried to shrug it off as best he could in the silence of the room, lying back against the pillows on the bed. No more words came from him, deciding to instead close his eyes and try to drop the whole thing.

Dwicky could be heard, assumedly shifting about on the bed to get more comfortable. But then the mattress squeaked and bare feet could be heard on the tiled floor. The teen grunted as he hopped on one foot to Dib's bed. New weight could be felt next to Dib as Dwicky wordlessly crawled onto his bed.

The sudden shift in the bed caused Dib to start for a moment. He looked to the side at the teen that was suddenly invading his bed and couldn't help wrapping his good arm around Dwicky's body, pulling the other closer. It was the only thing he could do while knowing it was probably the only time he would ever get to be so close again.

Dwicky slipped under the covers, easily obeying Dib's arm as he curled against the man's front minding the wound near his side. He rested his head against Dib's chest, keeping his hands tucked against his own.

Dib let his head fall so it lay on top of Dwicky's. His hand moved up and down the teen's arm, trying to sooth the other as best he could, but at the same time the action was more for him. "You sure know how to pick 'em." He tried to lighten the horrible mood they were both in and managed a small smile. The fact he had Dwicky near him, helping a little bit.

"Hmm, yea." Dwicky glanced up at Dib with a slight smirk and gave the man's stomach a gentle poke in gesture. "I do." He nuzzled his cheek back against Dib's chest. "Though if you want my honest and expert opinion..." he quickly glanced about before whispering with a small grin "... you're the better kisser."

Dib flinched back from the poke, but not in any kind of pain. He gave a grin of his own while raising a brow. "And you're worried about my ego. You aren't exactly helping." He moved his free hand up to grab Dwicky's own and held it, linking their fingers. He was going to take advantage of the moment for as long as he could. "I won't complain, though."

Dwicky looked to their hands not expecting such an action, it caused his cheeks to grow warmer and he curled closer to the other. He chuckled some. "I'm sure you've had a lot of practice. So many good looking guys, so many counter tops, so little time, eh Dib? Hmm, what about a desk or table? Does that count as a counter? Or how about the hood of a car?" The teen drew his name with a finger on Dib's chest. "Heh. Or a hospital bed?" He chuckled again. "I guess that's technically a bed." He wrinkled his nose. "Too conventional for The Great Dib."

"Hey, just because I like the tops of things doesn't mean I don't like normal beds either. They're still okay from time to time." He nudged Dwicky in the side as best he could, considering their position. "As for those other little surfaces you mentioned, I might have tried a few of them. The desk and the car. Even a dresser at one point." He looked away, refusing to meet the other's gaze as he went on. "That one almost got knocked over."

Dwicky snickered. "I guess you have one over on me. I can't say I've done it on a dresser. Bumped into the dresser: yes, on the dresser: no. Hmmm. I guess there's no surface left undone by The King of Countertops and Surfaces." He made small noises as he chewed on his lip piercing. "Maybe I'm a little jealous, nothings still left for me." He buried his face against Dib's chest with a 'mph'.

Those words surprised Dib and caused his hand to still for a while. It didn't exactly help the conflict going on in his head and before he knew it, Dib had pulled Dwicky back to press his lips to the teen's own. It was a bad idea and he knew it, but he couldn't stop once he had started. He followed Dwicky's lips with his tongue until he got to the silver ring. He sucked at the piece of jewelry for a few seconds before he finally pulled back, looking at Dwicky for a few seconds before he dropped his gaze.

Dwicky let out a shaky exhale, and he couldn't help drawing his tongue across the bottom of his own lip, licking the piercing there. He spoke up in a breathless tone "Wow. Very much… better… kisser." He snuck a hand up Dib's chest to rest at the man's shoulder, tugging him gently down for another kiss, this one much slower and lingering.

Dib gave into the kiss with no complaint, even though he knew he should have stopped it. He pushed his tongue past lips and teeth, licking at the small piece of metal inside the other's mouth before he tried to curl his tongue around it. His hand slid down to run across Dwicky's side, moving up and down before it tried to slip under the hospital gown.

Dwicky groped around until he found the edge of blankets and then he tugged them over top, hiding them from prying eyes and new visitors; although the empty bed next to them might have been a dead give away. Dwicky tried to muffle the little sounds he made against Dib's mouth, giving a playful bite to the other's tongue and lips. He slipped one arm around Dib's neck, his other hand brushing fingers against his cheek before they buried themselves in Dib's hair.

Dib let out a noise of his own at the small bite Dwicky had given him. It was hard to keep quiet and they weren't really in the safest of surroundings to be doing what they were doing. Dib didn't exactly seem to care, though, as he pulled his lips away so he could move them down to the other's throat. His kissed down skin until he was blocked by the gown, but it didn't stop him from licking what he could.

Dwicky gave a small giggle when Dib licked ticklish skin, their situation was sneaky and kind of funny and it didn't help Dwicky at all. The teen pushed Dib back on the bed as gently as he could with what was most comfortable to the other, and crawled up Dib's body. It felt so good to be this close, to be with Dib like this, and Dwicky opened his mouth to voice this but decided it better to keep it to himself. Instead he pressed his mouth to the side of Dib's neck, kissing pale skin, giving playful bites and licks, drawing the metal on his tongue and lip at every opportunity.

Dib gave a low moan, not able to keep it in. Especially when the few pieces of metal ran across his skin. He couldn't help keeping his hands anywhere he could on the teen and found himself moving both of them under the gown. He ran them up and down Dwicky's chest and let them drop at the teen's hips, pulling him impossibly close while he turned his head to lick at one ear and the piercings that settled there.

Dwicky gave a breathy sound, grinning against damp skin at the sounds he caused Dib to elate. He then drew his tongue piercing along Dib's pale skin, stopping when he found a particularly sensitive spot at the man's neck that gave him the reactions he wanted. Dwicky clamped his mouth over that spot, sucking on it softly as he gave it extra attention with his pierced tongue.

Such attention caused Dib to let out needy whimpers and moans. He tried to stop himself from being too loud, but it wasn't possible. So instead, he moved his mouth around Dwicky's ear, trying to muffle his sounds as he sucked on each piece of metal and the skin they were attached to. As he did that, one of his hands moved back up the teen's chest not stopping until fingers ran over a nub, pinching at the sensitive spot as soon as they did.

Dwicky muffled the loud noise that wasn't to leave him against the crook of Dib's neck. He almost went entirely slack, giving in to every action Dib gave, mewing little moans at the affections on his ear and else where. His fingers tightened in Dib's hair and he couldn't help but whimper the man's name.

The reactions Dib got out of the teen caused him to give a small smirk against the other's ear. He pinched harder at the small nub before he pulled both his hand and his mouth away, bringing his head back. He raised his hand after he brought it out from the gown Dwicky wore and raised the teen's head so he could lean forward and place a kiss on the other's lips.

Dwicky eagerly pressed back into the kiss, clacking his piercing against Dib's teeth as he gave small licks there. He slipped an arm around Dib's middle, running his hand along the bare of back where the hospital gown didn't meet. He grazed his fingers lightly down, trying to mind the bandages over scratches as best he could without sight.

The noise Dib gave because of the touch was muffled against the kiss. His own hand moved behind Dwicky's head to press the teen closer for a few moments before he pulled back, breaking the contact. He didn't meet Dwicky's eyes, keeping his own down much like he had before, but it didn't take him long to raise them as he gave a weak smirk. He let his forehead fall against the other's before he spoke up. "This isn't exactly helping the situation." By the tone of his voice it didn't really seem like he cared.

Dwicky pressed a brief kiss on Dib's lips. "No. It isn't." He continued to run his fingers up and down Dib's back, sometimes drawing little lazy shapes here and there. He pressed another little kiss on Dib's lips. "Or that." He then pressed another. "Or that." He gave Dib's bottom lip a small lick before he pressed a softer kiss in its stead. "..Or even that."

Dib's eyes slipped halfway closed with each little kiss given to him. He let out a soft sigh after it was over and Dwicky finished speaking, keeping his eyes on the other for a bit longer. Finally, he leaned in to press his own kiss to the side of Dwicky's mouth, pulling back only enough to speak. "Neither did that, but now I suddenly don't want to stop." A frown finally came to his face. "But, I know all of this is only putting pressure on you, or, at least it will only end up doing that. Especially if you want to stay with that guy."

"But I like pressure." Dwicky couldn't help the perking grin on his lips. "Pressure is good." He shifted onto his back ignoring the pain of wounds there in favor of pulling Dib with him on top. "I especially like it on me." He gave a quick kiss to Dib's frown.

Dib gave into the sudden switch in positions and quick kiss, licking at Dwicky's lips afterwards. The frown didn't leave, though, and he sat up only a bit over Dwicky. Once more he looked down at the other, letting out another sigh. "You're going to stay with him, aren't you?" It was a stupid question and Dib knew it as soon as it left his mouth. Of course Dwicky was going to stay with that _other_ guy. It would probably seem weird for the other to just up and drop that relationship. Not to mention what they were doing wasn't exactly media friendly like they had talked about.

"What would you do if the media caught wind of this, Dib?" Dwicky quietly spoke up, as if reading Dib's mind. He rubbed Dib's thigh as if that would sooth his worries, but he knew it would bring little comfort or resolve for the situation. "The Great Dib involved with a seventeen year old, a guy no less. It would bring about a public scandal. It would drag your name and reputation through the mud." He smirked softly. "Not to mention disappoint all the fangirls of the world, bringing about mass romantic suicides." The smile disappeared from Dwicky's face as he looked up at Dib's face more serious, though more sincerely. "... I like you Dib. I like you _a lot_. I like you more than I should for someone I've just met. But... I don't want to be the reason for the end of your career. I've looked up to you for a long time." Dwicky's cheeks heated over and he glanced away embarrassed as he continued. "I've written essays about you. And... I wouldn't have gotten all these wonderful opportunities to see and do what I've always wanted if it wasn't for you. You've done such amazing things. I can't take you away from the world, and from those who look up to you as a role model like I have." Dwicky finally looked back up to Dib.

Dib looked away after Dwicky was finished speaking. Some of the words were surprising to hear, but he knew he should have suspected them considering how Dwicky acted around him every now and then. He couldn't help staying silent for a little longer, trying to think of what to say. When he finally did, his voice was low as if anyone besides the teen would hear him. "I'm so used to taking chances that, I guess it's why something like this doesn't really bother me. Especially since I just want it to happen. I wish I didn't have to worry about everyone getting into my business every second, and then maybe it would be easier." He shook his head. "Or, at the most, not as hard as it is right now." He turned his eyes back to Dwicky and leaned down a bit more so his face was inches from the others. "I told you the fame isn't all it's cracked up to be." He gave a weak smile.

Fingers softly brushed Dib's cheek and Dwicky gave the other a small kiss. "I'm touched you'd give someone as insignificant as me a chance." He gave a weak grin. "You're a good person Dib, despite how shameless you can be." He reached up to toy with the jagged lock of hair atop Dib's head, finally having the chance to do so after so long. "We're a good team. I hope we can continue to be one, and work together again." His hand fell away, resting on Dib's shoulder. "... I'd also understand if you never wanted to see my sorry butt again." he added very quietly, the smile falling from his face as he looked away. As sincere and understanding as it was meant to sound, there was dread and fear in it.

A small kiss was planted on Dwicky's cheek and it was there that Dib spoke up against skin. "I'm not going to make you leave me and I'm not going to let you leave." He smirked at that before he pulled back a little. He raised one hand to move Dwicky's head so the other was once again looking at him. "Besides, you owe me breakfast."

Dwicky let out a relieved breath that he'd been holding in, though it turned more into a chuckle. He slipped his arms back around Dib's neck and grinned some. "Breakfast I can do. I'll hobble on over at some ungodly hour and pull you out of bed, all sunshine and smiles. Then you won't like me too much, and want to get rid of me. I'll have to subdue your morning grumpiness with cheese omelets and muffins." Dwicky laughed a little. "Or maybe break out the shots right there. Spike your freshly squeezed orange juice."

Dib couldn't help grinning. "Sounds like a plan to me. Besides, I'm sure I can calm my morning anger for you." He looked a little unsure of himself for a moment before he continued. "Or, I can at least try to." He smiled a bit. "Healing wounds will probably cause me to want to stay in bed for as long as physically possible."

"Hmmm." Dwicky ran a few fingers through Dib's hair. "Then breakfast in bed it is." His grin softened a little.

Dib shut his eyes for a bit because of Dwicky's fingers, finding the action soothing. After a bit he moved off of the teen, laying beside him and pulling the other close. He cuddled Dwicky to his chest and rested his chin on top of the other's head, keeping his eyes closed the entire time. "I like you as well. With all that's happened I'm starting to care about you more than I should, considering the circumstances." The words came later against Dwicky's scalp. "I guess I should have asked before I kissed you." He smiled a little.

Dwicky easily gave in; keeping snuggled out of sight under the blankets. "Considering you were bleeding to death, it's understandable." He slipped an arm back around Dib to lazily run his fingers up and down the others back. "I didn't stand a chance against your Dibbish charms." He chuckled. "... You practically past out anyway on me, when the ambulance came."

"For the best I guess. I'm sure it could have gone much farther if I didn't. Although, loss of blood was the only thing that really stopped me." Dib gave a small smirk before he pressed a small kiss on top of Dwicky's head. After that he let out a sigh, settling down as all of the activity and rush of emotions from earlier started to finally wear him down.

"Call it a weakness... but I wouldn't have stopped you, or minded." Dwicky smirked briefly making a small sound of amusement. He let his eyes fall shut, even if it wasn't the wisest of things to stay as he was; but it was too damn comfortable to do otherwise. "I think it would have traumatized the poor nice ambulance men anyway. So, you're right." He nuzzled his face more comfortably on Dib's chest. "... Never saw i this /i coming. Never ever." his voiced petered tiredly.

"Neither did I." Dib shook his head a little before he tightened his hold on the teen. He let out a small tired noise as he kept Dwicky close to him. It was just like that, that he slowly drifted off, allowing himself a little bit of sleep after so much that happened.

Dwicky slowly opened his eyes; he didn't let himself fall asleep, though it was something he wanted to do more than anything, as he was. But it wouldn't have done them any good. So he stayed, listening to Dib's soft easy unconscious breath, feeling the tight hold on him grow slack. It was then he glanced up to look at Dib's sleeping face. "..Dib?" But of course there was no answer. Knowing the other was deep in sleep, mostly to the thanks of medication; Dwicky slowly pulled himself free of Dib's grasp. Carefully he pushed himself off the bed, cringing at the freezing feel of the floor under his bare foot. He hopped back over to his bed, sitting down and slipping under his own covers. It wasn't as warm, or inviting, but it was safe, this was safe.

Dwicky laid himself back down, pulling the covers over himself and shutting his eyes. He buried his face in his hands, giving a soft groan. Soap operas weren't supposed to be real.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fanboy**

By Kitteh and NeoFox

**Rating** R

**Warnings** Fanboys and girls, violence, gore, swearing and plenty of gay fun

**Disclaimer** Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim. So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM! We just want to borrow Dwicky and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.

**Summary** AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.

**Beta **Heartless7

Chapter 05

It had taken a while, but after a couple of weeks Dib was feeling much better then he had when he actually got stabbed. Everything was nearly healed, but it was even earlier than when the doctors had told him he could go home. It had probably been all the complaining he did while he was there. Of course lying in a hospital bed was not something he enjoyed, so of course he had been cranky. Especially when the other occupant in the room had been released much earlier than him, considering his wounds weren't as severe.

As soon as Dib was free from the hospital and every bit of press around him, that's when he had finally been able to talk to the one person he had wanted to talk to the entire time. Things hadn't exactly been awkward between him and his partner. In fact everything actually seemed normal. It was one phone call that had peaked his interest and after a lot of poking and prodding from the teen, Dib had finally given in.

At the moment his eyes were locked on the two-story home that was across from him. Dib hadn't moved from the driveway since he had gotten out of the car, and that felt like hours ago. When Dwicky invited him to dinner to meet his parents he had been okay with it at first, but suddenly he was a little more nervous. Probably because not too long ago he had been necking with their son. That one thought caused him to give a groan as he finally walked to the door, knocking on it as soon as he could reach it.

Instantly there was a loud commotion inside and a loud yet muffled 'I'll get it! It's for me!' from somewhere inside. Excited footsteps thundered down the stairs, followed by a loud thud from someone too impatient to take the last few steps; the landing sounded less than graceful, complete with an 'ow', reminding the voice's owner of their wounded leg.

The door was then thrown open and a disheveled Dwicky grinned widely up at the other. "Dib!" The teen paused to puff some air up to blow his bangs from his face, but it did little good. "You made it!" His grin turned more wry. "I was almost worried you weren't gunna show." He gave Dib's stomach a light poke. "You look good, healthy, _alive_. Glad the hospital food didn't off you."

"You'd be surprised." The words were mumbled as a response to the last thing Dwicky said. His eyes darted around behind the teen as his nerves still seemed much too on edge. Finally, they landed on Dwicky and he tried to give at least a small smile to the other as he spoke up. "I still can't believe you talked me into this." His eyes moved behind Dwicky once again and with the way he was acting it would never seem like he stared death in the face before. "Can't I just, I don't know, write them a letter or something and take my food to go?"

"You've faced far worse and far more deadly. My parents are a walk in the park in comparison to the doom-filled trials you've faced. Besides, they tolerate Phisty." Dwicky smirked at that. "C'mon." Dwicky grabbed Dib's good arm and dragged the man in, closing the door behind him. "I'm helping cook, so you have to stay." He gave the other a glance as he trailed one finger up the inner side of Dib's arm. "And if you're really good, I'll even show you my room." he added oh-so nonchalantly.

The finger on his arm almost caused Dib to shiver, but it was the words which actually made his brain stop for a moment. He didn't really know what to say for a second, but as soon as he started to nod his head that's when he realized he had to come up with something. "A-Alright." He shook his head. "I mean, I'll try to stop being so nervous. You wanted me to come over here and stay, I'll stay. I can't really say no to a free meal." He grinned.

"That's two from me now." Dwicky clacked his tongue piercing against his teeth in a tsk-ing fashion. "Oh well, time to meet the folks." He grinned devilishly and tugged Dib into the living room. "Mom! Dad! The Great Dib is here! In our house!" He glanced around. "In our living room!" Dwicky couldn't help but bounce eagerly on the balls of his feet. "Want something to drink?" He grinned up to Dib. "Sit. Make yourself comfy."

Dib raised a brow at Dwicky's sudden excitement and moved a hand out to pinch the teen on the arm before he moved to take a seat in one of the chairs. "It's just Dib, remember?" He shook his head at the one question and looked back at the other once he was settled. "And no, I don't need anything. I'd rather you not leave me in here to fend my self anyway." He gave a small smirk.

Dwicky stood there a moment, rubbing his arm. A very slow devious grin spread across his face, brandishing teeth. He tapped his fingertips together devilishly. "I'll go get my parents." Without giving Dib time to argue the teen bolted from his spot to disappear into the kitchen.

The teen could easily be heard from inside the other room. "Dad! Mom! C'mon. Come meet Dib. I'll watch the pot. You- come. He's absolutely everything I said." Dwicky came back, dragging both of his parents in by the arms. "Come, come, come, come, come." He set them to stand in front of Dib. "There! See. Isn't he amazing?" Dwicky gestured towards Dib. "Dib this is mom. Mom this is Dib." He pointed to the dark haired woman on his right. "And Dib this is dad. Dad this is Dib." He turned to the man on his left, speaking to him. "This is the guy who I met at the convention that let me work with him." Dwicky couldn't have grinned more proudly if he tried.

"He's so thin." The woman remarked off-handedly. "To think a man so frail looking could do as much as you've said." She shook her head, disbelieving.

The dark haired man Dwicky had pointed to seemed to study Dib for a while before he clicked his tongue. "Looks pretty normal to me. I hope he's paying you good money to get hurt the way you did."

Dib opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds, not really knowing what to say to all of that. They acted like he wasn't even in the room and that made him feel even more uncomfortable. His eyes moved towards Dwicky for a split second before they fell back on his parents, still speechless.

"No dad, Dib doesn't pay me. The clients who hire us pay us. We split the earnings fifty-fifty." Dwicky nudged his father. "The getting hurt part is our own doing." He tried to smirk a little, joking to lighten the mood. He gestured for Dib to stand up. "Well, you two get acquainted; I'm going to check on dinner." Dwicky backed up and snuck Dib a grinning wink before he disappeared to the kitchen again.

The woman glanced to her husband before looking back to Dib. "Well, it's very nice to meet you again, Dib. I'm glad it's on better circumstances. Are you feeling better?" She narrowed her eyes subtly. "Dwicky won't stop going on about the entire ordeal. Or about you." She looked at Dib as if expecting the man to explode into some great extravaganza from the things she'd heard.

"No kidding." The man looked away and shook his head. "You'd think at some point a person would get sick of telling the same story over and over, but no, not that kid." He looked back to Dib. "No offense, but I'm kind of sick of hearing about you."

Dib had kept his eyes on the place Dwicky disappeared to as soon as he stood up. When both parents spoke up it startled him a bit, but he was able to catch what they were saying, giving a nervous laugh as he shrugged. "I'm feeling much better, thanks. It's understandable that Dwicky is excited about everything. I mean, he saw a lot when we went on the case. I would be a little worried if he wasn't." He conveniently kept away from talking about himself.

"Yes, well. It sounds like you two had quite the adventure, if not a little far fetched." The woman narrowed her eyes more at Dib. "You wouldn't really bring him into such a dangerous situation would you?" She laughed dryly. "Creatures that take your identity, with pointy arms. That's kind of silly, don't you think. It couldn't be as death defying as Dwicky makes it out to be." She waved her hand as if she'd already decided.

"He exaggerates too much." The man frowned a bit as he went on. "One simple story or situation could turn into something it's not meant to be. He really needs to learn to stop that." He snorted as he looked away once again. "Every story is more ridiculous than the last."

Dib quickly held up a hand to try and stop both of them from speaking and also to try and get a word in between them. "Well, wait a minute. It's not really far fetched stuff. I've worked around the paranormal a good portion of my life so far. What he told you is exactly the truth. We were both there; those creatures he told you about are real." He dropped his hand into his coat pocket, feeling very fidgety all of a sudden. "I didn't _want_ to put him in any danger, but things didn't turn out so well for us in the beginning."

The woman went silent, just staring at Dib as if the man was pulling some kind of joke. But Dib looked serious and that didn't sit with her right. "You..." she started out slowly "purposely took our son to a possibly dangerous job, knowing full well that he could be hurt, and _killed_?" She straightened on saying the last word, and looked to her husband with a frown. "Some hero."

"I told you Dwicky was making him out to be something he wasn't." The man looked at Dib once more after speaking with his wife, narrowing his eyes at the other. "For him to go out on whatever silly job you take him on and get seriously injured, well, it's a complete waste." His voice rose a bit as he went on. "He doesn't have to nearly get killed to have a decent job."

Dib could almost feel a headache coming on in spite of the crossfire he was caught up in. It seemed like it was going to be so hard to reason with the two, especially since they hadn't even believed Dwicky to begin with. "I didn't know the job was going to be so dangerous. What I think are easy cases can end up turning out to be very nasty, but I didn't think it would really happen. Even when it did, each time something extreme happened I tried to keep Dwicky out of harm's way as best I could, but he's very eager." Dib darted his eyes away for a second at that, trying not to stumble over his words for a second. "He wanted to do whatever he could to help any chance he got."

Just as Dwicky's parents opened their mouth to give another piece of their mind a blur rushed out from the kitchen, pushing past them to tackle into Dib. Dwicky latched his arms around Dib possessively and gave his parents a pouting scowl each. "Mom, dad, don't interrogate my hero. If you two would stop being so skeptical, you'd see just how great he is." He glanced up at Dib. "Right?"

The sudden weight against him had startled Dib for a second, but when he looked down and saw who it was the situation caused him to become nervous once again. He almost didn't catch Dwicky's question since he had to stop himself from touching the boy anywhere too inappropriate while his parents were in the room. "Uh, yeah." Words pretty much failed him.

The man continued to look skeptical despite Dwicky's words and it seemed as if he were about to open his mouth once more, but another knock on the door stopped him. He seemed to tense up at hearing it and turned his eyes on his wife, rolling them a bit as he just barely mumbled one word under his breath. "Lovely..."

His wife lightly nudged him. "Now, now, dear, be nice." She wagged her finger at him and went to go answer the door.

Dwicky looked around shifty eyed, noticing all eyes weren't on him he nuzzled his cheek against Dib's side with a big stupid smile on his face.

Dib almost jumped at the small bit of nuzzling. He was twitchy enough and having Dwicky do such things wasn't helping at all. He didn't stop the teen, though, moving a hand up instead behind Dwicky out of sight to run it up the back of the other's shirt so he could touch skin. Talking from the other room and the sound of footsteps had him dropping it just as quickly.

It wasn't just Dwicky's mother who came back into the room, but the same teenager from the hospital was the one to accompany her. His attire looked just as drab as it did that one day and those same glasses were perched on his face. He kept a hand on his hip as he looked around the room, landing his eyes on Dwicky immediately and raising a brow at the teen's actions. "I think you need to go back to the hospital. Something's wrong with your head."

Dwicky blanched, his jaw dropping and almost unhinging from his head. "Ph-Ph-Phisty?" He gawked at his mother who came back into the room after the other teen. "Mom! I didn't know Phisty was coming over."

"I thought you would have wanted him to be here while Dib visits." The woman gave a shrug.

Dwicky stuck his pierced tongue at Phisty for the earlier comment, wrapping his arms tighter in his possessiveness around Dib's middle.

Dib didn't even realize how hard he was clenching the hand in his pocket until he could finally feel his nails digging into skin. He let up just as quickly and tried to relax, but it just wasn't happening. All he could do was glare at Phisty much like he had down at the hospital before. Dwicky's sudden tightened hold on him was the only thing that had him finally looking away with a sigh and nothing else.

Phisty only rolled his eyes at what he considered to be immature behavior from Dwicky. It didn't stop him from walking past Dwicky's parents, though, not stopping until he was right next to Dwicky. He moved a hand up as if to try and pull the other away from Dib, but only ran fingers up and down the other's arm. "Don't be like that, hmm?"

There was a cough from Dwicky's father followed by a groan. "Is dinner ready yet?" It was obvious he wanted any reason to leave the room or the entire situation all together.

His wife gave him a look. She sighed and shook her head, grabbing him by the sleeve and pulling him into the kitchen to check on dinner.

"You better not be a jerk either." Dwicky gave his friend a slight glare. "You be nice." He pointed at Phisty. "I read every word of what you write with a smile and encouragement, the least you can do is the same." With a huff his arm went back to protectively clinging to Dib.

Phisty gave a small whine. "I told you my writing is completely different from your para-stuff, Dwicky." He moved both of his arms up to try his best at wrapping them around the other teen's neck, but the most he could do was cling to Dwicky's shirt. "Besides, I thought you liked my writing?" Since he couldn't pull the other away, Phisty did the next best thing and leaned in to try and lick Dwicky's cheek, succeeding at the action and speaking after. "You weren't pretending, were you?"

Dib's eyes scanned around the room for anything sharp and pointy to inflict pain on Phisty in that moment, but sadly there was nothing within his reach. He was slowly regretting his decision to come to Dwicky's house bit by bit. Especially when Phisty wouldn't keep his hands to himself for two seconds.

"No." Dwicky sighed. "They have a few merits. But you could at least be nice and respectful, and not slobber all over me in front of my guest." He rubbed his cheek with the back of his hand. "Maybe smile." He couldn't help the wry grin at that. "C'mon, let's go to my room until dinners done." Dwicky took Dib's good wrist and dragged him towards the stairs. "I have so much to show you, Dib! I've collected tons of samples, photos, and notes." The excitement came back to the teen's voice.

Dib easily followed along as he gave a weak smile. The whole thing had knocked his mood down quite a bit, but he tried his best not to let it show. "I can only imagine. Are you sure you're going to be able to show me most, if even all of it? We might miss dinner." He couldn't help but tease a little bit despite how he felt at the moment.

Phisty had narrowed his eyes at the two. It annoyed him that Dwicky was suddenly giving his attention to this so called 'hero.' What was really so great about the guy anyway? Instead of voicing his thoughts, though, Phisty followed the two upstairs. It didn't stop him from pouting the entire time he walked.

Dwicky threw open his door and pulled aside the multicolored bead curtain to reveal his room. "Ta-da!"

The room was decorated heavily in a space motif, with maps of galaxies along with posters of sci-fi movies and aliens practically wallpapering the walls. But several good posters seemed to be removed, leaving pristine white rectangles on the off coloured walls. There was a planetary mobile hanging from the ceiling, along with several glow in the dark stars stuck randomly about. A desk covered with stacks of papers and files, along with a telescope pointed out the window resided at the far corner. Despite the normal clutter of a teenage room, and the obvious reasoning that Dwicky cleaned it up for company, it seemed rather sparse; never minding the bulging closet.

"Welcome to home." Dwicky let the bead curtain go after everyone and himself step in. "Make yourself comfy." He clasped his hands together hospitably. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

Dib looked around the room with wide eyes. He had been expecting a few paranormal nick knacks, but it actually shocked him to see more than what he thought. Of course considering Dwicky's obsession over it all he shouldn't have been surprised. He gave a low whistle as he walked towards one of the maps, looking it over as he shook his head to Dwicky's question. "I'm good." He felt like he was back at home with all of his own stuff and couldn't help looking at everything, considering his interest.

Phisty only eyed the room, noticing some of the missing posters. He had been inside Dwicky's room plenty of times to know when certain things were gone. He moved beside the other teen and nudged him in the side, letting his hand linger down to stroke Dwicky's arm after he did. "Did you get rid of some of your stuff?"

Dwicky quickly looked to Phisty and put a finger to the other's lips. "Shhh." After he walked over to his bed and flopped on it. "All my current findings and information is on my desk. I have more in the filing cabinet and drawers. I keep most of the samples filed on my book shelf there." He pointed and then flopped on his back. He blinked and his eyes went wide as he noticed the Dib poster he'd missed on the ceiling. As nonchalantly as he could he stood up and jumped up on the bed to try and nab it when Dib wasn't looking. He managed to grab an edge but the poster ripped away from the ceiling causing Dwicky to squeak a whimper. Quickly he hid it behind his back and pointed. "There! That book right there by my camera. That's my ghost album. Check it out." He smiled as innocently as he could.

Dib looked back at Dwicky and raised a brow. For a few moments he kept his eyes on the teen before he shrugged and walked to what Dwicky had pointed to. He picked up the book and let out a noise at how heavy it was, but was able to handle it after shifting it around. Once he had it, Dib opened it up while sitting down; looking through it he became interested a few pages in. "These are actually quite good. You got some pretty decent shots."

Phisty was easily bored with the conversation. He craved attention and wanted it the way he had planned on getting it earlier. He was still upset about being pushed away that one time, though, but figured maybe he would have better luck since Dwicky was so involved with talking to his hero, that he wouldn't mind a little licking here and there. With those thoughts, Phisty walked over to the bed and made himself comfortable, moving up to his knees to wrap his arms around Dwicky's waist while he licked at one of the teen's arms.

Dwicky discarded what was left of the poster and patted Phisty on the head with a sigh. There was no getting rid of the other teen; he'd just have to put up with it for now. With another sigh he sat down, half on the bed and half on the other. He grinned over Dib's way, the compliment brightening his mood. "There's a few shadow men in some shots. No one was in that house either. I was house-sitting for a neighbor. And it isn't my own, because the shadow isn't Dwicky shaped. The light of the room was just over head, so my shadow wasn't even casting that way. That house was spooky. And neat!" He patted the bed beside him, gesturing for Dib to sit there with him. "I want to show you something really freaky."

Phisty seemed satisfied that Dwicky gave in even a little bit. He wrapped his arms tighter around the other teen and moved up to nuzzle his face against Dwicky's neck, biting at it as if trying to leave a mark. The fact someone else was in the room didn't stop him from getting as close as he could to Dwicky. As soon as he had what he wanted he took advantage of the situation.

The sight had caused Dib to narrow his eyes for a second. He wanted to protest against getting anywhere near the two of them, but at the same time, he didn't want to upset Dwicky. The most he could do was avert his eyes back down to the book for a few moments as he tried his best to answer. "I guess I could look at whatever it is." He shrugged lightly as he slowly stood up, taking the book with him to the bed, sitting down next to the two teens, refusing to really look at them.

"Phisty, chill. It's bad enough you man handle me in front of my folks. Not today, alright." Dwicky pushed the other teen's head from his neck, rubbing the bitten spot after. He gave Phisty a slight glare. "Common courtesy, can you not slaughter it today." He shook his head and tried to skooch closer to Dib so he could look at the album as well. He flipped through the pages and finally settled on a page of photographs that looked familiar. They were the inside of Dwicky's house. "These were taken back with the poltergeist I told you about." Excitement had a grin slipping back onto Dwicky's lips as he leaned closer moving to sit on his knees. "My parents were out shopping, and I was sitting in the living room on the couch listening to music on my headset. The air became cold, but so slow and subtly I didn't notice until I could see my breath misting in front of me." He crawled just a little closer to Dib, his voice falling just a little quieter. "But that's not what caught my attention at first; it was the static in my headphones. I could hear a voice, that wasn't the singers, talking." His voice went hushed then, "No, whispering something. It was so hauntingly soft I couldn't make it out beyond the music." Dwicky placed a hand on Dib's thigh so he could move forward and point with his other hand at a photo; white on white, the wall seemed to swallow up the form of the body all but the shadowy silhouette which barely defined it. Its mouth was drawn long and inhumanly stretched in a silent scream of some unknown despair and agony; its eyes were nothing more than pitiful smudges of dark shadow. "When I took this picture, nothing was there. Nothing." Dwicky quietly finished.

The fact Dwicky had pushed Phisty to the side in favor of him caused Dib to feel somewhat better. The bit of closeness and small touch near his thigh helped even more. He drank in every word Dwicky said. Even more interested since he wasn't as sore as he was a few seconds ago. He leaned in just a little, keeping as close as he possibly could to the teen and just making it seem as if he was looking at the picture shown to him. "Sounds and even looks like pretty good evidence for some form of haunting to me." He moved a hand up to run it across the photo, but only to brush a finger across Dwicky's in one quick second. "Have you shown it to your parents?"

Phisty rolled his eyes, having pulled away from Dwicky as soon as the other teen had rejected him once again. "What point is there? Everything you see there is probably some weird trick of the light or some stupid smudge on the camera. Dwicky isn't one of the most organized people. I'm sure he doesn't take very good care of his equipment either." The words came from him as if the other teen wasn't even in the same room. He flopped back on the bed, stretching out as he did. "His parents see no reason to worry about any of it either."

"They almost put me in the loony bin because of that whole ordeal, remember?" Dwicky poked Phisty for his remark with his toe. "I may not be organized but I take very good care of my equipment." Free of the other hanging off of him Dwicky took that opportunity to move even closer to Dib, all in the name of common paranormal interest of course. "And this picture..." Dwicky slipped his hand over Dib's to move the other's pointing finger to settle on another photo "is the kitchen. Not as impressive, but some strange ghostly light there. Those blurs are things that it moved around; vegetables." He gave a small chuckle. "I was cooking. Startled me really good." He moved Dib's hand again, pointing the other's finger at a different photo, though never moving his own after their hands settled. "..That's the basement, the laundry room. I'm trying to convince my parents to let me build a photo-lab down there. But... after the haunting, I'm not so sure." A lazy grin crossed Dwicky's face. "Nothing really happened down there, it was just this horrible doomy feeling going near it. I could only snap a picture from on top of the stairs." His thumb subtly stroked Dib's. "But as you can see, all that came up was black down there. Not even with the flash." Dwicky's grin grew lazier as he looked at Dib, his brows rising with interest. "Not even with the lights on."

Dib's eyes weren't on the photos, but instead stayed on their hands. He almost lost focus on Dwicky's words until the teen actually turned to look at him. That's when he caught the last few things Dwicky said and it caused Dib to give a small grin, before he looked back down. "Maybe it would be better if we both checked it out sometime. It couldn't hurt." He linked two of their fingers together, keeping them that way for as long as Dwicky allowed it.

"You're both just wasting your time." Phisty moved a hand up and waved it from side to side. "If there's nothing there then that should tell you something already." He dropped his hand back down and pushed his hair back. The way he was laying allowed it to finally fall back, but his glasses still covered both eyes. "Just give it up Dwicky." Those words meant more than just one trip to a basement.

Dwicky narrowed his eyes in amusement and gave a small 'heh'. "Where's the fun in that." He turned his attention back to Dib. "Maybe we should check it out today sometime." His lips peeled back to form a toothy grin, tilting his head so most of his dark hair veiled one eye, his gaze falling half lidded. "A washer-dryer is like a counter." he cryptically remarked, his thumb ran up and down the side of Dib's hand.

Dib glanced sideways at Dwicky because of that last remark, but in the end his grin grew a bit. "Sounds good to me." He looked back down at their hands, finding much more interest in them than he did every bit of paranormal memorabilia Dwicky had lying around. He just wanted to keep the other as close as he could before the moment would more than likely be ruined.

Phisty pouted much like he had on the stairs at the fact he would be left alone. It caused him to move his arm up and try his best to run it along Dwicky's back, the only part of the teen he could reach from where he was. "But Dwicky, what about me." The words came out as a whine. "You have more than one guest, you know. You can't just leave me here while you look for some non-existent ghost."

Dwicky arched his back forward from the touch with a ticklish squeak. He let out a half nervous laugh as he turned to face Phisty though in turn he had to slip his hand away from Dib to do so. "C'mon, Phisty. I see you everyday; at skool, at home unannounced." He gave a wry smirk at that comment. "You aren't a guest anymore." He patted the other teen's chest reassuringly with a smirk. "Hmm. Could you go downstairs and get us some cola, check and see if dinner is ready. You're finding all of this terribly boring anyway. Escape while you can." Dwicky leaned down and gave Phisty the briefest of kisses. "Please?" He gave the other a wide hopeful grin.

Phisty let out a small sigh at first, but in the end he gave in and sat up if only because of the kiss he was granted. "Fine, I'll leave you to your boring nonsense. It's not doing me any good right now." He sat up from the bed and moved to stand. He tried once again to flip his hair back, but like every other time it did no good and he gave up. Without even giving the two a last glace, he walked to the beaded curtain that led out the room, and made his way out.

Dib had kept his eyes on the other teen the entire time. That one kiss had caused him to tense up again because it had been Dwicky that allowed it. His hand that had once been held had fallen away from the book and to his side on the bed, no longer as interested in any of the pictures. As soon as Dib was certain Phisty was completely gone and out of sight that's when he turned his eyes to Dwicky, ready to say something, but the words died just as quickly, causing him to look down at the floor below the bed.

Dwicky flopped on his back with a long relieved sigh. "I thought he'd never leave." He draped an arm over his face, and in the end he rubbed his face against it. He then settled, going still. "... He wasn't supposed to be here." he grumbled. "Stupid mom, what was she thinking? Phisty hates any paranormal that doesn't kiss up to his name sake." Dwicky moved his arm so he could glance at Dib. "Did you know Mephisto was some kind of devil who made some guy sell his soul to him? Yea, well Phisty won't let me forget it. I'm surprised he hasn't been going on and on and _on_ about that to you. Or reading one of his wrist-slitting poems. He'll probably do it over dinner, he always does." Dwicky groaned, grabbing his pillow to bury his face under.

Dib closed the book that was still settled on his lap and put it aside. "I've heard of that. I thought of saying something back when I first saw him at the hospital and you introduced us, but I don't think my temper would have allowed for it to come out very pleasant." He finally moved his eyes to Dwicky and kept them on the teen for a few good minutes, before he shook his head. He shifted around until he flopped back beside the teen. "And here I was worried about meeting your parents. Now I'm worried I won't be able to stop myself from punching your boyfriend."

The teen's small laugh was muffled from under the pillow. He pulled it off his face and tucked it behind his head. "Hmmm. Wouldn't that rattle Phisty's self-delusional cage; really give him something to angst about." Dwicky let out a long sigh, rubbing both his eyes before he let his hands flop up near the top of his head. "So," he looked over to Dib with a certain humour "what do you think of my ghosts?"

Dib kept his eyes on the ceiling even as he spoke up, looking over each of the glow in the dark stars. "I think on your own that you did a good job being able to capture what you did. There's obviously something going on around here. Something worth checking out." He shrugged and finally pulled his eyes away to look back to the teen. "Since now you have someone that can actually back you up on everything else you've seen, these ghosts and such, it'll be easier to get back there and check them out more."

"You haven't been listening to my story." Dwicky moved to his side and propped his head up with an arm and smirked. "At least not very carefully. All the stuff I mentioned before, it all left when I threw away that sample." He fiddled with his belly button ring. "I guess it was some kind of physical anchor for the poltergeist to stay at my house." He glanced at the beaded curtains, Phisty didn't shut the door, but he supposed it veiled well enough. His eyes flicked back to Dib just as suddenly. "Like my room?" Dwicky's grin grew slyer.

Dib actually seemed disappointed at the fact everything was gone. He seemed to at least hope there was something left, but shrugged and quickly turned his eyes back to Dwicky when the teen spoke again. He grinned a bit and looked around much like he had when he first came in. "I do. You have very nice taste in decor." He gave a bit of a laugh before he looked at Dwicky again, letting one of his hands move up to touch the teen's that fiddled with the piece of jewelry.

Dwicky tried to hide his smile by biting his pierced lip, it failed but he didn't seem to mind. "I like that." A few of his fingers moved to brush against Dib's. "You're subtle." Unlike Phisty who shoved his tongue wherever he could at any chance he got. Dwicky ran his fingers along Dib's hand tugging it down to rest on his stomach. "... But I guess all older guys are more mature." Dwicky quietly teased.

"I do try my best when I really have to." Dib gave a grin at those words. He let his fingers run up and down Dwicky's stomach for a few seconds before he let them trail around to the teen's hip, trying to bring the other as close as he could. "Here I was hoping to have you all to myself while your parents were busy." He leaned over, and despite the situation, Dib couldn't help planting a kiss on Dwicky's neck. "Such a shame." He pulled back and gave the other a small smirk.

Dwicky placed a hand on Dib's chest, running his palm over it as he gave a quiet chuckle. "It is. It isn't everyday a boy gets his hero in his bed." He drew little lazy designs with his fingers. "But I'm all yours for now." In the center of Dib's chest he traced his own name adding a plus underneath and below that he wrote Dib's name, surrounding it all in a heart. There his finger paused and he tentatively raised his gaze back to Dib.

Instead of saying anything, Dib leaned forward once again to press his lips to Dwicky's own. Right away he deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue past the other's lips to curl around Dwicky's own tongue and the stud that lay there. His one hand that was still on Dwicky's hip, moved lower and around to the teen's rear, squeezing for a split second. All the while he kept alert for any noises at the door.

Dwicky pulled himself closer, slipping a leg around Dib's hips to press intimately closer. He tried to stifle what sounds he could against Dib's mouth, but it was hard when all he wanted to do was whimper and groan needily for more. His hands slipped underneath Dib's shirt, and had the door to his room not been blatantly open, he would have yanked it up and off.

Dib muffled his own noise when Dwicky pressed so close. He moved his hand up only to push it past the waist of jeans if only a bit even if he knew he shouldn't. He gave one last lick to the other's tongue before he began to suck at it, trying to pull the other's tongue out so he could give it playful bites, keeping his attention on the piece of metal most of the time.

The teen's piercing clacked against Dib's teeth and he lapped at the other's tongue for a moment before he finally pulled away. "Y'know," he paused a moment to collect his breath "leaving the door open like this, very dangerous." He lightly clawed the skin underneath Dib's shirt. "Especially at such a convenient location…-like my bed." Dwicky kissed the other more softly this time.

Dib only let out a small sound that he even acknowledged anything Dwicky said. He was too busy moving his lips down to press kisses towards the other's neck. His free hand had moved to Dwicky's hip to move under the teen's shirt and caress skin as he finally spoke up. Not really wanting to think past what he was doing. "So what do you suggest?"

Dwicky's mind blanked out and he tilted his head to give Dib more neck. He smirked some as he let his eyes close. "Nothing I have to suggest is very smart for either of us." With a slight sigh he reached a hand over to toy with the long lock of hair that jutted out. "I'm sorry no one likes you." He couldn't help but laugh. "Not my mom, dad, or even Phisty. Maybe it's refreshing to not have people fawn and swoon all over you. Though you haven't looked too happy." He ran his fingers though Dib's dark hair. "Just flash them a charming smile, I'm sure you'll win them over." Dwicky placed a small kiss on Dib's cheek when he had the chance.

Dib finally pulled back so he could look Dwicky in the eye and gave a small smile. "Well, it's obvious why I'm not happy with your boyfriend here." He shrugged a little and looked away towards the curtain that barely covered the doorway. "As for your parents, I guess it was just because I found them a little scary considering certain circumstances." He looked back to the other while he ran his hand up and down the teen's side. "I'm fine now, though. I'm sure things won't be as bad at dinner." He raised a brow. "Right?"

"Phisty likes to read his new poems before we eat." Dwicky groaned and clunked his head against Dib's chest. "It's hard to be supportive when they suck. I don't think I could take another bought of 'my dark and lonely soul weeps because:'" Though that didn't stop the teen from tilting his head up, slinking a little closer to give Dib's Adam's apple a playful lick. "Mmph. Not to mention trying to grope me at the most inappropriate of times. I'm surprised my folks haven't kicked him out of the house and banned me from seeing him yet." He gave little affectionate bites to Dib's throat.

Dib let out a small moan at the attention. It helped him deal with the words he had just been told. "Well, I guess they're just being supportive, despite having to deal with seeing such a thing. That's my take on it anyway." He wrapped both arms around Dwicky, tugging the teen as close as he could as his grip became possessive. "As for me, I just want you all to myself."

Dwicky rested his cheek against Dib's chest, more than happy to be held. He nodded in agreement to Dib's words. "...Me too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Fanboy**

By Kitteh and NeoFox

**Rating** R

**Warnings** Fanboys and girls, violence, gore, swearing and plenty of gay fun

**Disclaimer** Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim. So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM! We just want to borrow Dwicky and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.

**Summary** AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.

**Beta **Heartless7**  
**

Chapter 06

As soon as dinner was ready everyone was piled into the dining room around the table ready to dig in. Two free places next to Dwicky meant two people sitting next to the teen who wanted his affection. Dib tried to pay more attention to the food on his plate rather than glaring holes in Phisty this time around. He wanted to at least try and behave as best he could. It didn't mean he had to like the guy, though, and despite Dwicky's earlier protest Phisty still refused to stop hanging all over the other teen. It was when everyone was finally settled that Phisty took that as an opportunity to finally stand up, getting everyone's attention at the table, including Dib.

"As _most_ of you know..." Phisty darted his eyes to Dib for only a split second at that comment, before he turned them back on everyone. "I like to read a piece of my writing before a meal. I believe it helps with the atmosphere-- for those that don't know." He placed a hand on a small notebook that rested to the side of his plate on the table. "And since I had so much time to myself today..." He gave a dramatic sigh. "I figured I might as well do a bit of creative writing and let some things out." He looked around at everyone again. "I'm sure you all won't mind." His eyes fell on Dwicky.

There was a groan off to the side from Dwicky's father as the man tried to hide his head in his hands, while Dib tried to stop himself from laughing by bowing his head.

Dwicky turned his head when he felt eyes on him, his mouth stuffed with food. He gave a tentative chew and a small wave at Phisty as he narrowed eyes.

His mother patted her husband's shoulder in mild comfort. She looked back to Phisty. "Of course we don't mind, dear. Go on and read. I'm sure our guest would like to hear." It was obvious she was trying to be supportive, but she had a tired edge to her voice.

At those words, Phisty picked up his notebook and started to turn it to just the right page. With his free hand, he moved his fingers to his glasses and pushed them up before he began to speak, his voice quite dramatic. "My world it's crashing, burning. I can feel my skin peeling as my soul rips in two. I cry tears of blood as I reach for you, but alas, you are so far and my heart breaks in two. Little pieces of broken glass that cut into what's left of me. Don't you hear me crying? Please hear me crying." His voice trailed off and he shut the book with a click.

Dib had literally shoved enough food in his mouth to keep himself quiet. He was afraid that if he didn't he would surely burst out laughing. It was all so ridiculous.

Dwicky's mother stared blankly at Phisty and then at her husband; she couldn't think of anything to really say to all of that.

"I think we have ointment for that in the bathroom." The words just left Dwicky. "Bandages too." He clapped hands over his mouth as he clunked his head on the table but he ended up snorting as he tried to keep the laughter in. His shoulders shook with silent laughter and he tried to remove his hands but had to clamp them back over his mouth to stifle the sounds that started up again. He raised a hand to wave to prove surrender but it fell back down: he couldn't stop laughing.

Phisty turned his eyes to glare at Dwicky and the man beside him. Both of their reactions, especially Dwicky's, caused him to slam his notebook down on the table before he sat down to pick at the food on his plate. He suddenly didn't have much of an appetite, and focused all of his energy on pouting instead of eating.

Dib swallowed what he had in his mouth while he still tried to calm himself. He wasn't very successful, but he managed a little bit. "Well, that was interesting." He glanced sideways at Dwicky as he spoke the small remark then looked back down to his plate.

Dwicky settled his laughter to snickers as he lifted his head enough to look at the pouty teen beside him. "Oh c'mon, take criticism with a grain of salt. You call my interests crap." He poked Phisty's side. "You should shock us and write about something light and fluffy." Dwicky chewed his lip to keep the laughter in. "Like marshmallows and kittens." And Dwicky was back to giggling against the table top.

Phisty narrowed his eyes on Dwicky for a second at the poking as well as the comment. "Yeah? Well, you should shock us and actually be normal one day." With those words he looked back down to his plate and finally chewed at what bit was there.

Dib raised a brow at that. His laughter died and he looked towards Phisty, wanting to reach an arm around Dwicky to smack the morbid teen upside the head. But he didn't. He went against his earlier thoughts and settled for glaring at the other.

Dwicky casually lifted his head from the table to look at the other teen. "Hmm? What's that, Phisty? Oh, you got some _hypocrisy_ stuck between your teeth. We got floss in the bathroom for that too." He smirked.

"You need to grow up." Phisty shook his head and stabbed his fork at his plate, causing it to make a loud annoying noise that didn't really seem to bother him. "At least I'm not hanging off some stupid so-called hero like some leech, believing in anything that may have come out of some stupid sci-fi movie."

Dwicky's father rubbed at his temples, trying to sooth the growing headache because of the bickering back and fourth. Damn lover's spats. He hated when that happened. "Alright children, can we please eat?"

"No, instead you hang off of _me_ like a leech and kiss like a St. Benard!" Dwicky continued. "_I_ need to grow up?" He nudged Phisty's shoulder hard. "You're the one that wrote the overdramatic prose because I wouldn't let you stick your tongue in my ear while I was trying to show my life's work to someone I truly admire." He scoffed. "Not that it matters to you, because you're a egotistical, narcissistic, self-indulgent little cry baby who gets off to being the center of attention!" Dwicky paused and glanced around, noticing people were staring. So he settled back down in his seat, cheeks growing hotter.

His mother blinked wide eyes and settled her gaze on the man beside Dwicky. "So... Dib, are you married?"

Hearing the question directed at him, Dib turned his attention away from the war zone that was Phisty and Dwicky, and looked towards Dwicky's mother. The question wasn't really something he was expecting and had him blinking for a few seconds before he quickly shook his head. "Oh, um, no. No, I'm not." He quickly looked back down to his plate and tried to focus on eating to get the sudden attention away from himself.

"I still don't see what's so great about him." Phisty mumbled the words under his breath after Dib spoke. still very much sore over Dwicky's words. He didn't raise his head after he spoke, though, keeping his eyes down, covered by his hair.

"A girlfriend? You must know plenty of nice girls." The women went on now that the feud between her son and his boyfriend subsided. "Maybe you could introduce Dwicky to some." she suggested subtly. "He doesn't get out of the house much. He could use a girl in his life."

"...Why, when Phisty is feminine enough for the both of us.." Dwicky commented under his breath.

Dib tried not to laugh at Dwicky's comment and focus more on the woman's question instead. "A girlfriend? Uh, no. I don't have one of those." He averted his eyes towards his fork. He suddenly didn't want to keep eye contact with the woman.

Phisty had turned his head sharply to glare at Dwicky, being able to hear the teen since he was right next to him. Instead of answering back, he looked back down. When Dib was finished speaking he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, really special."

There was a long silence soon after.

"Boyfriend?" the woman piped up again, brows rising.

Dwicky tried to slip unnoticeably lower in his chair. Disappearing under the table sounded like a good idea.

"I don't think we really need to know." Dwicky's father spoke up as he turned his attention to his wife. Even though he said it, he knew she would try and pry the information out of their guest anyway, so it was a lost cause.

Dib kept his eyes averted the entire time and gave a nervous laugh. Despite the other man trying to help him, he still felt as though he needed to answer in some way. "No, it's okay. I'd just rather keep some things a bit personal. That's all." He looked at the two, but back down just as quickly.

Dwicky tried not to glance at anyone as he attempted to shovel food into his mouth. Though the nervous edge he was left on stole away most of his appetite.

"So it is a boyfriend." Dwicky's mother concluded. She sighed and gave a shrug; there went her chance of finding a nice girl for her son someday. "Hmm, it's any wonder we haven't heard anything about it from Dwicky. But I guess he isn't interested in that side I suppose." She chuckled to herself.

Dwicky slid lower in his chair.

Dib took a chance and looked up at the two for a moment as he decided to speak up. "So I noticed." The words were meant about the situation with Phisty, but could have been meant for more than that for the only ones who knew. "I'm glad you both agreed to let him work with me. Even with what has happened so far, I've enjoyed having him as my partner." He looked down once again, refusing to say just why he liked it, for obvious reasons.

"He seemed to decide for us." The woman gave her son a look. "Even if we said 'no' he would have done it anyway." She gave Dwicky a more displeased look as she continued, looking from him to Dib. "Despite how dangerous it is. Like it was said before, he's much too 'eager' for his own good."

Dwicky tried to slide lower in his chair but slipped right off having no chair left. He sprung back up and sat back down, settling himself as if nothing had happened. "I think I'll have more!" he spoke oh so casually, adding more food to his plate.

Phisty looked to the side at Dwicky and shook his head. "I wish he was just as eager about us as he was all of this stupid para-nonsense. Then maybe I wouldn't keep getting pushed away half the time we're around each other." He stabbed at his plate once again.

That only caused Dib to hide a smirk as he bowed his head again. He had almost laughed when Dwicky fell out of the chair, but Phisty's words caused him to have to contain that laughter even more at hearing how rejected the other teen was.

"There there, baby." Dwicky spoke with a fork in his mouth, patting Phisty's thigh. "Just look at the bright side-- oh wait, you can't." He snickered as he continued to eat more of his dinner.

"Don't you two start again." Dwicky's father pointed his fork at both Dwicky at Phisty as if ready to stab both of them with the utensil. "I'm getting sick of hearing you both bicker back and forth when half the time you can't keep your damn hands off of each other. Make up your minds." He thought about what he just said. "And if it's the latter then do it far away from us."

That caused the smile to fall away from Dib's lips. His attention moved to Dwicky's parents once again before it fell on his food, finding it much more interesting than the sudden conversation going on.

"...I'll take the first choice." Dwicky added before quieting down, going back to eating his dinner.

"So, how are you liking your dinner, Dib?" Dwicky's mother started in with a change of subject to remove the tension.

Dib looked back up at the woman and smiled weakly, grateful for the change in subject. "It's very good. Dwicky told me he helped cook it. I actually haven't had a really nice home-cooked meal in a while." He looked down a little embarrassed. "Well, I mean, not one that isn't microwaved at least."

"I'm cooking him dinner sometime for celebration of our first successful mission together." Dwicky spoke up, easily in good spirits again. He conveniently left out the drinking part. He tapped the fork against his lip in thought. "Which means I need to go shopping sometime." He nudged Dib lightly. "Hey, you aren't allergic to anything are you?" He smirked.

Dib looked to the side at the small nudge and shook his head while he took his fork out of his mouth. "Nope, fix whatever you'd like. I'll try whatever you cook up for me." He smiled a little before he looked back down at his plate, trying his best to keep any kind of touch between them limited, but it was hard when he was right next to Dwicky.

Dwicky's father shook his head at such a thing. "Don't forget you still have Skool, Dwicky. I don't want this partnership you suddenly have, to cut into your skool work and other such things. You need to get good grades to be able to graduate and get a _real_ job. Running around getting hurt all the time and staying over to fix complete strangers dinner isn't going to help you."

Dwicky gave his father a grin. "Sure it is. Considering that's what I want to do the rest of my life." He pointed his fork. "Minus the feeding strangers bit. But Dib isn't a stranger." He smirked at the man beside him. "Are ya Dib?" Unseen under the table cloth the teen's hand rested on Dib's knee and slowly drew up higher.

Dib almost jumped in his seat at the touch, but was able to hold himself down if just barely. "N-No." The word was almost squeaked and he had to clear his throat. "I mean, no, of course not. I'd say we know each other well enough to not be strangers." He moved a hand up to rub his eyes under his glasses as he looked away from Dwicky's parents.

Phisty snorted at that. "You're just his boss. I doubt that counts enough for anything." He picked at the last little bit of scraps on his plate. "I still say you're nothing special. I'll never understand what the big deal is. Especially over such a waste of time." He ignored the glare Dib sent his way, shrugging his shoulder instead.

"Ignore him, he's just jealous." Dwicky rested his head in his free hand while his other continued to run fingers slowly up and down Dib's leg. Then the teen got bold and drew his fingers down on Dib's inner thigh. "And we're _partners_, Phisty." He glanced the other teen's way. "That's fifty-fifty. Buut-" his entire hand smoothed up Dib's inner thigh and gently squeezed "he could boss me around if he really wanted." Dwicky looked back at Dib trying to keep his grin innocent enough.

Words failed Dib for a moment and he had to remind himself that it would be a very bad idea to let out the moan he wanted so badly to let out. All he could do was nod his head for a few quick seconds as he tried to control himself, gripping his fork much too tightly. "I-I guess, if fifty-fifty is too simple for you."

Phisty only rolled his eyes, angered that he was once again ignored. He stayed quiet about it though and stabbed at his food.

Dwicky continued to stroke along Dib's inner leg, all with an innocent smile. "Of course not. I like it." His hand ran up to more intimate places on Dib. "I like it a lot. Feels good. _Very_ good. Very satisfying." He chewed on his lip piercing slightly.

Dib gave a weak laugh and tried not to make it sound so nervous or shaky, but it was very difficult. Dwicky's hand was causing him to want to forget all about being careful and the people around and just take the teen on the table right there. So, he found it better to keep his mouth shut while almost failing at not making a sound, hiding it as a cough.

"Something wrong Dib?" Dwicky's mother pointed to the man's face. "You're so flushed."

"You're so pale, it's very noticeable." Dwicky raised his free hand to touch Dib's cheek with a finger, hiding it as a poke. He leaned closer pretending to be interested and concerned, but it only made it easier for him to touch just that much more. "Why are you so flushed?" His brows went up feigning curiosity.

Dib shot Dwicky a look, but turned his attention back to the woman just as quickly so it wouldn't be noticed. "No, nothing's wrong. Uh..." He tried to think of a quick excuse, and it didn't take too long. "The doctor said I still might not feel well. That's probably all it is. Nothing to really worry about."

"Oh yes, the hero is so special." Phisty snorted after he spoke the words. "He's no different from anyone else. You act like he's immortal." He rolled his eyes.

Dwicky glanced back to his friend. And for a split second he had the urge to just slam his mouth against Dib's just for spite. But instead he backed off from Dib, taking his hand back from Dib's leg with a few lingering touches. "Phisty, do your sucky life a favour and jump in a wood chipper." he answered back coolly as he picked up his fork again to eat.

A sigh was heard from Dwicky's father as Phisty turned to glare at Dwicky once more. The teen didn't say anything, though, turning his attention back to his plate after he had looked up at Dwicky's parents for a quick second.

Dib shook his head a bit. The bit of fighting back and forth was amusing to him for obvious reasons. Since Dwicky had pulled his hand back he was able to relax once again. Not that he minded it. Not at all. His free hand that had been fiddling around with his coat, moved down under the table so he could run fingers up and down Dwicky's knee, trying to sooth the teen of his sudden anger. It was the best he could do as he kept his eyes on his plate.

Dwicky let out a soft sigh, his anger easily quelled. He was doing nothing more but poking at his food now with his fork. He let his hand slip down to rest on Dib's, linking fingers and just sitting like that for a quiet moment. He poked at his food. "I made pie for dessert." he spoke up randomly to fill in the silence.

Phisty pushed his plate away, resting his chin on an elbow after it was out of his way. "I don't feel like dessert." He shrugged as if it was something obvious.

Dib shook his head at the teen's attitude and turned his attention back on Dwicky. "I'll have some." He squeezed their hands under the table as he gave the other a small smile. He figured it was best to help Dwicky just ignore Phisty for the time being rather than start another fight that would end up annoying his parents again.

Dwicky looked Dib's way but eventually his smile returned. "I know you're the guest but..." unseen under the table he squeezed the man's hand back "Help me serve pie?"

Dib wasn't really surprised at the question and only nodded his head. He rubbed his thumb across the back of Dwicky's hand for a moment. "Sure." That was when he finally let go, dropping his hand back down beside himself.

Dwicky stood from his seat, collecting his plate, Dib's and Phisty's, letting his parents finish eating in a peace he was sure they finally wanted. He carried the dishes into the kitchen and set them in the sink. There was a lemon pie cooling on the counter there. The teen dusted his hands off and he turned to face Dib. "We have ice cream too." He pointed to the fridge with a weak smile. "Plates there." He pointed to cupboard. "Utensils there." He pointed to a drawer. "Pie there." He pointed to it. "Dwicky here." he finished more quietly, pointing to himself.

Dib followed Dwicky's finger each place it pointed, only to land on the teen in the end. His eyes stayed on the other for a bit before they darted towards the door that led out to the dining room. It was a big risk, but Dib decided to take it anyway. In a few steps he was beside the teen, wrapping his arms around the other's waist and keeping his voice quiet as he spoke up near Dwicky's ear. "You alright?"

"To be absolutely cheesy in every way:" Dwicky buried his face in Dib's chest "Mmph. Now I am." He shook his head and groaned quietly, thankfully he was able to muffle it against Dib's shirt. "Phisty just knows how to push my buttons sometimes." He slumped some, resting his forehead on Dib's chest so he could stare at the ground between them. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be down in the presence of pie. For it is pie. And pie is great and masterful."

Dib couldn't help laughing a little, trying to keep it quiet. "I found him to be entertaining for a while. That stuff about broken glass and bleeding hearts, or something like that, was very amusing." He ran a hand up and down Dwicky's back as he went on. "Of course I can understand how everything afterwards sort of went downhill."

Dwicky pulled from Dib's hold to back pedal and peek out the kitchen door; his parents were talking with Phisty. It was safe enough. He walked back over to Dib and pushed the man back until his back was against the far wall of the kitchen. There he leaned back against Dib's front, wrapping his arms around the man's waist. "If anyone asks... just say it's the new Heimlich maneuver." Dwicky sighed, nuzzling his face against Dib's chest. "Cuddling coaxes the foreign object from the esophagus... -yea, yea that's it."

Dib let his hands fall back around Dwicky's waist as he gave a small smile. "Will do." He leaned his head down a moment to press a kiss on the side of Dwicky's head, moving back up just as quickly. He was scared to take such chances, but couldn't exactly help himself. At the same time, Dwicky's earlier words kept moving around in his head and he finally voiced his thoughts as quietly as he could. "Why stay with someone you obviously aren't happy with?"

Dwicky made a soft sound. He stared at nothing from half lidded eyes. "...We went over this." he answered back just as quietly.

Dib gave a sigh. "I know, but look what just happened out there." He shook his head and looked away towards the door. "I still don't see the point if all that happens is what I saw." His hand fisted in the fabric of Dwicky's shirt for a moment. "Not to mention the fact it hurts a bit to know that you want to stay with both of us at the same time." It was a bit childish to bring up, but true.

Dwicky didn't know what to say to that. He had arguments, but most of them had been said, and didn't sound as convincing to even himself a second time. He just tightened his hold on Dib as if the man would push him aside and leave. "..I don't." Was the only answer he could come up with.

Dib stayed silent for a long while after Dwicky spoke. He couldn't stop the thoughts running over in his head and they finally had his hand dropping from Dwicky's shirt. "Then don't keep both of us." It was a horrible thing to say. To make Dwicky choose, but Dib hated dealing with what he had just been watching much earlier. To know that his hands weren't the only ones touching Dwicky.

Dwicky's eyes widened and he looked up at Dib. His brows furrowed angrily and he shook his head in frustration, feeling his cheeks grow hot. "You think I'm doing this because I'm greedy?" he whispered heatedly. "I don't like being in the middle. I don't like hiding. I've never liked hiding who I am or what I believe in, no matter what the ridicule. B-but this.." Dwicky had to clear his throat before it could crack, before it went too loud. "Phisty wasn't my greatest decision. But it's the best I could do considering. I'm not proud of it, but oh well. N-now.." Dwicky stepped back, shaking his head unsure, he rubbed his head ruffling his hair. He slumped, arms falling slack at his sides. "I really like you Dib. I've always liked you, admired you. But... like I said before: _this_ could really hurt your image, your career." Dwicky gave a sad chuckle. "You'd end up in the tabloids." A hand rose to rub his face. "I can't believe I'm saying all of this."

Dib stepped forward and leaned over so he could press his forehead to Dwicky's own. "I don't care." He gave a weak smile as he moved both of his hands up to brush thumbs over Dwicky's cheeks. "I'm willing to take that risk. You should know me well enough to realize that I'm willing to take i any /i risk." He kissed the teen's lips softly for a second, pulling back so he could speak again. "I care about you too, remember? What if all of this liking each other and caring about each other grows into something more?" He averted his eyes at that, looking down at Dwicky's shirt. "It would just be even harder, don't you think?"

Dwicky placed his hands over Dib's, leaning into one, nuzzling his cheek against it for a moment. He closed his eyes, enjoying the touch, though he knew outside the room everyone was probably growing impatient and would trudge in to see what was going on. "... What if it doesn't?" he asked in a quiet shaky tone.

The question had a small frown coming to Dib's face as he kept his attention down. "Then I wouldn't be sure what to do. I told you how well my past relationships went, remember?" He gave a weak smile at that, but it fell just as quickly. "It's hard for me to keep with one when I feel as though I'm getting nothing in return. You don't stay with Phisty out of love, right? Well, I wouldn't want the same thing to happen and we would have nothing between us." His hand tightened a bit under Dwicky's own. "To me it would feel a little empty after a while, don't you think?"

Dwicky pressed his lips into a thin line and his brows furrowed a little. Then he looked away. He pulled Dib's hands off his face so he could hold them, resting them on his shoulders. Finally he raised his head decidedly but before he could say anything he heard foot steps and it had his eyes widening as he clambered away from Dib to stumble, almost fall on the floor dead center of the kitchen.

"What's taking you so long? It only takes a second to cut and serve pie." Dwicky's mother tsked.

"Talking. We were just-- just talking. Caught up in talking, mom." Dwicky quickly fished out a knife from the drawer and started cutting the pie.

Dib had straightened back up as soon as Dwicky moved away from him and looked towards the woman at the door. All he could do was give her an apologetic smile at the fact they were taking so long before he looked away while walking over to the cabinets to pull out a few dishes and take them over to Dwicky. He kept his eyes averted as he handed the dishes over, feeling awkward for the moment.

Dwicky took the plates, putting pie on them for himself, Dib and his parents. He handed his mom the plates for her and her husband and she left the room soon after. He fished out a fork for him and Dib, placing his own on his plate and handing Dib his with adverted eyes. "Taking initiative is different than risk taking." He looked a little amused, but it was gentle amusement. Finally he looked up at Dib. "If you really want something, you'll find any means to go out and get it." The teen picked up his plate and headed back to the other room.

Dib watched the other leave, staying where he was for a few more moments. He thought over what Dwicky said and a small sigh left him. He was trying his damnedest to get what he wanted, but so far it just seemed as if the teen would rather stick with the one he hated over the one he admired so much. He wanted so badly to prove to the other that he really didn't care about tabloids, or any other silly things like that, but so far it was becoming difficult. With a shake of his head, Dib took his plate with him, finally following after Dwicky.

Dwicky sat down beside Phisty again, glad the other teen had taken deep interest into writing again and not pawing him. He picked up his fork and ate some pie. He let the fork linger on his mouth as he stared off, though he just realized something. "... I forgot the ice cream."

Dib had been poking at the piece of pie on his plate for the few minutes he sat back down. When Dwicky spoke up it startled him a bit and caused him to look at the teen. The last words the other said still ran through his head and before he could stop himself, he spoke up. "Need help with that too?"

Dwicky slowly looked to Dib, the fork still in his mouth as he stared blankly at the other. It took him longer to answer. "...Yes." He put the fork down, rising to stand. "I think it's in the big freezer in the garage." He walked from the table.

Dwicky's mother looked from her son, to Dib, to Phisty back to her husband. "The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife and serve it." she commented quietly.

Dwicky's father barely gave any acknowledgement that he even heard what she said. He gave up on everything that had been going on a long time ago and was just trying his best to focus on his food.

Dib followed after Dwicky, feeling more relaxed since they were away from everyone else. It still didn't help with the silence and the entire time he kept his eyes on Dwicky's back as he walked. His hands stayed in his pockets for the time being, not wanting to chance moving them out to touch the teen until they were at least much farther from prying eyes.

Dwicky lead them into the garage, flicking the light on. It was like any other garage: junk, car, more junk, bicycles, boxes, even more junk and a deep freezer in the corner. He took hold of the handle after Dib stepped in and seemed debated on whether or not to close it or leave it open.

Dib decided for the teen, putting his hand over Dwicky's and pulling the door closed. While he was busy with that, he had leaned forward to press his lips to the other's, licking at the metal on Dwicky's lip before he tried to push his tongue past. His hand slowly linked their fingers over the one he still held, stroking a thumb over the other's.

Dwicky leaned heavily against the door, it was the hand on his that made his knees weak. But he placed a hand on Dib's clavicle and pushed him away; it seemed to be to his own displeasure as well as he tried to place what few lingering kisses he could before Dib was too far away. He grinned weakly. "... That's a new way to get ice cream."

Dib gave a grin at that. "And a much better way." Despite being push back, it didn't stop Dib from moving on. His other hand raised to grab the one on him and hold it captive as he moved them away from the door only to push Dwicky back to the wall near them. He held both of the teen's hands up above his head, keeping him pinned as he pressed his lips to Dwicky's chin, sucking at the skin for a few seconds before he barely pulled his lips back and spoke up. "Although, I'm more in the mood for something else." He ran his tongue up before going on. "And this time you can't walk away."

Dwicky stared at Dib giving a rather obedient 'okay'. He wasn't expecting this kind of response from Dib, especially with their confrontation just before in the kitchen; he was confused, but he wasn't going to argue with it. He tried to steady his breath but it already quickened. His fingers curled and stretched as he pressed his back against the wall, Dib had a good grip on him.

That one word from Dwicky was all Dib needed. He moved his head to the side, so he could run his tongue along the rim of an ear. He stopped only when he came across each piercing, sucking on each one for a second before he went back to what he was doing. The entire time he kept his grip on Dwicky's hands, making sure the other couldn't move them. "I care about you, Dwicky." The words were whispered near the teen's ear as soon as Dib pulled back. "Everything now I want to do to you again and again." He pressed closer to the other, slipping a leg between Dwicky's own. He moved his head to the teen's other ear, giving it a few quick licks before he spoke up once more on wet skin. "But I also don't want to share you. I hate knowing someone else is doing to you what I might be doing as well." He moved back, only to press their lips together once again, taking longer to pull back than last time so he could speak against them. "It may be greedy of me to want you all to myself, but is it wrong of me to feel that way?" He bit at the piece of metal between their lips and finally looked Dwicky in the eyes, waiting for the teen to speak.

Dwicky had to stop a moment, caught between a stifled whimper, writhing but not to get away. He had to force himself to speak in coherent words, not little needy mews; he'd barely been able to follow what Dib had spoken, but his actions were quite clear. "N-ngh-no. It isn't. It's perfectly right." He leaned his head forward to try and lap at Dib's bottom lip, kissing what he could reach despite being restrained. He ran the stud across Dib's bottom lip, curling his tongue slowly back in his mouth. "Just ask..." Dwicky murmured in a quiet husky tone "Just ask me to leave him... and I will."

Dib's eyes slid shut at the attention given to him even though the teen was restrained. The tone of voice Dwicky used to speak had him stopping for a moment and trying to get his thoughts in order. He leaned his head down to lick at Dwicky's throat for a few seconds before he was finally able to speak up. His own words almost whispered. "Leave him. Please, will you leave him for me?"

Dwicky's throat danced with a swallow and his eyes sifted half open. He gave an obedient nod and answered in the same tone "I will. For you." He dipped his head to kiss Dib's forehead, moving to tug the jagged lock of hair on the man's head with his mouth.

The words were all Dib needed to hear and feeling the tug on his hair, he lifted his head, pulling it away from Dwicky's mouth. As soon as the teen's lips were free, Dib moved forward to press his own against them. His hands loosened their hold on Dwicky's bit by bit, still keeping a small hold on the teen's wrists so he couldn't get away completely.

Dwicky squirmed as he kissed Dib back as he was unable to slip his arms around the other as he would have liked. So he did the next best thing. He raised a leg up and hooked it around Dib's waist, tugging the man closer as he arched off the wall to press closer still.

Dib didn't protest to being pulled near, only letting out a muffled noise against Dwicky's lips. He didn't know how long they had been in the garage as they were, so far. He hadn't really been paying attention to the time considering his mind was on other things, but he hoped no one would come looking for them like last time. He really didn't want to move away from Dwicky yet. The teen was becoming some kind of addiction for him. When he finally pulled away from lips he couldn't help trailing kisses along Dwicky's cheek, letting the other's wrists go completely as his hands slid down arms to shoulders.

Dwicky let out a relieved sound, stretching his hands once they were free. He used his free foot to push off the wall to tackle into Dib, throwing his arms around the man's neck. It sent them both flying back from the wall. Dib's back hit the car, thankfully it didn't set off the car alarm, but Dwicky took the moment of surprise to slam his lips against Dib's.

Dib's surprised sound had been silenced by Dwicky's mouth which he easily gave into. His arms fell around the teen's body to clutch at the edge of Dwicky's shirt, pulling the fabric up a bit. He couldn't help squirming under the other, but not in any move to get away. Only wanting to pull Dwicky closer against him as he pressed further against the hood of the car at the same time.

Dwicky let his hand slip under Dib's shirt, pawing at skin. He let the kiss linger before he pulled away, needing some air. He rubbed his face, trying to collect his thoughts a quick moment. "So... what's this mean?" he blinked a little more coherently at Dib.

Dib blinked his eyes at the sudden loss. He had to actually think over the question for a second and as soon as he did a quiet laugh came from him. "It means the partnership just got a bit more interesting, that's for sure." He shifted around so he could sit up a bit against the hood, but didn't pull completely away from the other. "But seriously..." He leaned forward to press another quick kiss to Dwicky's lips, speaking afterwards. "it means we have each other without outside interference. We may have to be extremely careful, but, I've been able to keep certain things private before. I'm pretty sure I can keep a relationship private." He smirked.

Dwicky gave the other a rather doubtful look at that. His brows raised. "Aside from 'Zim' what else is there?" His expression grew more wry as he smoothed down his hair from their playful excursions.

"Well..." Dib looked away at that, suddenly a bit nervous. "Don't you find it a bit strange how there's never been a word about my family in any of the magazines or television shows?" He ran a finger over the hood of the car, having dropped a hand back down. "I sort of try my best to keep them out of the spot light." He groaned at that. "Of course it's kind of hard considering who my dad is, but I just try to keep our ties cut as far as names go and keep them out of _my_ spot light at least." He looked back at Dwicky and grinned. "They seem happy with it."

Dwicky pursed his lips. Now that he did give it some thought, not much about Dib's family was ever spoken about. It seemed just as well that Dib 'poofed' into existence; he and everyone else seemed alright with that, no one questioned it. Dwicky cocked a brow and invaded Dib's lap by straddling his legs. "So who's your family?" He paused and seemed to tentatively give a hopeful grin. "Will I meet them?"

Dib averted his eyes for a moment, even if his hands did move up to stroke Dwicky's sides. "My Dad is just some scientist, that's all." He shrugged it off, not really wanting to get into the truth of what his dad really was. "I have a sister too and she helps out some game company." He glanced at the other out the corner of his eyes. "Uh, I'm not really sure. I don't keep in touch with her that often. We never really got along that well. We only kept in touch when we needed to bum money off each other." He thought over Dwicky's last words and bit at his lips a bit before he caved, nodding his head a bit. "I guess I could try and let you meet them. I'm sure they won't mind getting together for one night at least."

Dwicky couldn't help his smirk as he slipped his arms loosely around Dib's neck. "How nice and vague of you." He pressed a quick kiss to Dib's cheek before he rested his head on Dib's shoulder. "I guess you won't be telling them if you don't speak to them. And I won't be telling mine for sanity's sake. And I won't be telling Phisty or anyone I know for rumour's sake." He gave a restless sigh. "Now that I think about it none of your romantic interests make headline." He snerked. "Guess you really are an undercover lover." He had to laugh at those awful words.

Dib rolled his eyes at that as he held Dwicky close. "Well, at least you can be sure that we have nothing to be worried about as far as being careful goes." He looked around for a second before a small smirk passed his lips. "Although, I'm sure some people are missing their ice cream by now."

Dwicky raised a hand to run a few fingers through the strands of Dib's hair, toying with it idly. "I lied. The ice cream is actually in the kitchen's freezer. This one just has a frozen turkey and assorted frozen vegetables. Oh! And popsicles." He grinned to himself. "Let them get their own damn ice cream." He let his eyes shut, quite comfortable as he was.

Dib grinned at that as he ran a hand up Dwicky's side. "Sneaky." He looked towards the door and finally shrugged. "I suppose they won't miss us and if they do then oh well. They'll survive." He laughed a bit. "Phisty can keep them company." He rested his chin on top of Dwicky's head. "I'd much rather just stay here with you for as long as I can. Your parents make me nervous."

"Just tell them what you're doing with their son on their car." Dwicky chuckled lazily. "They'll eventually get over it." He turned in Dib's arms to lean his back against the man, using the other as a chair but in return he let Dib use his head as a head rest. The teen gave an annoyed groan. "Breaking it off with Phisty is going to be 'fun'." He grabbed the lapels of Dib's jacket and pulled the jacket over him too, staying hidden inside he groaned again. "Maybe it'll be cathartic. Just tell him off." He scoffed. "Knowing that guy, he'll slit his wrists in despair and write bad poetry about it in sad wrist blood."

Dib wrinkled his nose a bit. "Wow, that's a bit extreme, but I really don't doubt it." His hands moved up to link their fingers together as he went on. "I'm sure he'll get over it in whatever way he can. It's not your fault if he does something drastic." He rolled his eyes. "I still don't understand how you put up with him for a year. I would have offed him myself if I was you."

"Heh. Well, it wasn't for his shining personality, I'll tell you that." Dwicky groaned more, pulling the coat over his head more so. "...And I have to deal with him at skool after this. His fellow mopey friends are going to be giving me somber glares for months. Soon all of them are going to be writing about our break up and how 'torn' and 'destroyed his soul is' for years." Dwicky peeked up from Dib's jacket. "Ya'know I put happy pills in Phisty's drink once." He cackled quietly. "That was awesome."

Dib raised a brow. "That wasn't right." He couldn't keep a straight face and a grin started to pull at his lips. "Even if it wasn't, though, it is rather funny." He shook his head before letting it rest back down against Dwicky's own. "If you can handle creepy doppelgangers that inflict horrible pain, than I'm sure you can handle depressed teenagers for a little while. Things will cool down and they'll get bored of bugging you at some point." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Ahh, that's right, you were ridiculed growing up too." Dwicky read between the lines. He tilted his head back to grin up at Dib. "Besides, when word gets out about my new job, I won't be getting a moments peace." He kissed at Dib's chin. "Thanks to a certain somebody." He let go of Dib's jacket in favour of raising his arms up and back to drape his arms around Dib's neck. "Fans will be crawling all over me." Dwicky couldn't help but tease, giving little affectionate kisses to the man's jaw. "What will I do if my own Dwicky comes along begging for 'partnership'."

Dib let out a small noise as his eyes slipped closed. It was only seconds after that he finally spoke up, smiling down at the teen through narrowed eyes. "I guess I'll just have to let them know that you're not in need of a new partner." He leaned down a bit to press his lips to Dwicky's own, pulling back just as quickly so he could speak up again. "That you're perfectly fine with what you have." He gave a small lick to the teen's nose before he pulled back a bit. "Wouldn't you agree?"

Dwicky wrinkled his nose at the lick, pausing to give it a rub. He grinned up at Dib, reaching up to flick the zig-zag scythe lock atop. "You're all the man I need, eh?"

"Well, I don't like to brag." Dib couldn't help grinning at that. "You don't seem to be complaining very much, though." One of his hands moved under his coat and slipped beneath Dwicky's shirt to run along the teen's stomach. "I think it's safe to say you're too hooked to want another partner, hmm?"

"Pot to kettle." Dwicky let his hand move down too, resting it on Dib's encouraging it to slip down lower. "I spose your opinion of fans have changed since?" He turned his head to give Dib's jaw lazy attention with his tongue.

"Hmm..." Dib let out a low noise from the back of his throat at the attention. His hand did indeed slide lower, moving past the front of Dwicky's jeans as a few fingers slid past the waist. "Not really, but you are a very big exception to that." He turned his head a bit to lick at a few of the piercings in Dwicky's ear before he continued. "The moment you start acting like my other fans, that's when I'll start to worry. For now, I'm just glad you have some self control." He smirked. "As limited as it is." After that, Dib pressed his lips back against Dwicky's own, deepening it right away.

"I have common sense," Dwicky ran his tongue piercing against Dib's tongue "Everything else..." he slipped Dib's hand lower, and lower still. He gave a small needy sound, continuing on in a low husky tone with a perking smirk "…is just impulse."


	7. Chapter 7

**Fanboy**

By Kitteh and NeoFox

**Rating** R

**Warnings** Fanboys and girls, violence, gore, swearing and plenty of gay fun

**Disclaimer** Smeets will eat our souls if we dare claim Invader Zim. So yeah, Jhonen can keep his smeets of DOOM! We just want to borrow Dwicky and Dib for a fic, so calm yourselves.

**Summary** AU DADR. World renown Paranormal Investigator Dib is bored with the same old same old, but when he meets a spunky young fan, things get a little more stimulating.

**Beta** Heartless7

Chapter 07

Outside the city's Hi-Skool sat the usual buses to take the students home after the final bell rang. A few cars were parked nearby as well that belonged to the parents who had actually taken the time to come and pick their children up. The rest of the students pretty much drove themselves. One car in particular was foreign to the normal crowd of cars and buses that was outside and it had a few lingering staff members turning heads to try and look inside to see whom the sleek black vehicle actually belonged to. A couple of people stared with wide eyes; while others still looked on, confused.

Inside the car Dib stared at the clock on the dashboard as if glaring at it would make it move faster. No such luck. With a groan, he thudded his head back against his seat before looking out the passenger side window. He expected people to look, but it was getting ridiculous. Especially when one teacher had pressed their face extremely close to his window. Dib had almost given a rude gesture, but the guy had thankfully left before he could.

The skool's bell rung loud and shrill but not as loud as the teenagers that came screaming out of the skool so eager to be free of their education. The students came out in herds, sorted by hierarchies of cliques; the alpha male or male leading the rest by their noses, always mindlessly talking about something, their friends response always some kind of equally mindless laugh.

When a certain individual peeked his head out of the door tentatively, all eyes seemed to turn magnetize themselves to his presence. The teen seemed to agree that it was best to reserve himself to staying indoors or to take another exit but when he glanced in his eyes snapped wide. Dwicky sprinted out the door followed by a mass horde of squealing, screaming, excited hyperactive teenagers, mostly females.

"No! I won't! I will not! You can't make me!" Dwicky shouted back at them but that of course didn't stop them from chasing him across the front of the skool. In fact it seemed to encourage their enthusiasm, all of them chanting Dib's name.

Dwicky threw open the other side door to disappear into the skool but a whole new group of teenagers burst forth from it. With a squeak Dwicky turned sharply and ran in a different direction entirely with an even larger group of rambunctious teenagers chasing after him.

Even inside the car, Dib could still hear all of the noise and it was Dwicky's voice that had caught his attention rather than the rest of the noise. He raised a brow as he tried to catch sight of what was going on and gave up halfway through. Even if he knew it was a bad idea, Dib opened the door and made his way out of the car, trying to shut it as quietly as he could without much luck. He flinched at the loud sound as he leaned against the side of the car and looked to the front of the skool.

Dwicky ran into the parking lot, dodging moms and cars alike to hunker down out of sight as he quickly tried to lose the chasing herd of eager fans. He crawled on the pavement between parked cars and turned to dart around a parked bus. With panted breath he rose and pressed his back against the side of it, listening for the group of teenagers to lose interest, with their short attention spans, and leave. Fans, even outside of conventions, were frightening!

There were footsteps walking towards the teen, coming closer with each step they took. In a matter of seconds they stopped right next to Dwicky. A hand reached out to grab the other's wrist and pin it to the bus as lips moved near Dwicky's ear to whisper so only the other could hear. "Liking your fame so far?" Dib grinned.

Dwicky gave a start, nearly jolting from his place. But the voice nailed him on the spot and he practically went limp against the bus. "Scared me, damn." he whispered hoarsely, placing a hand over his pounding heart. "Even the teachers chase me. My counselor called me down five times today, pretending to talk about my 'future' when really he was working me over to get info on how you were _really_ like in person." He grabbed the collar of Dib's coat to pull him down to steal a few lingering kisses. "Mmm. This is dangerous territory for you to be in partner."

Dib licked his lips after Dwicky pulled back to speak and he gave a small smirk at the teen's words, keeping the one wrist pinned against the bus. "Well, even so, it's amusing watching you get chased around. Besides, I had to talk to you about something and I figured what better way then to pick you up after Skool?" He leaned in to steal one more quick kiss before he pulled back again and shrugged. "Not to mention I still want dinner."

Dwicky draped his one free arm around Dib's neck, tugging the other closer. "Mph. I'm starting to think you'd do anything for a free meal. I guess even the rich and famous are cheap." He gave a wry grin. "You wouldn't believe how many girls have asked me to bring them a pair of your underwear autographed. A few people asked for my autograph but not as many. They all love you more. I don't blame them. I like you more too." He stole a small kiss. "Kind of makes me want to make out with you public in a greedy form of exhibition." He ran his tongue across the bottom of Dib's lips before he applied his own to the other's.

Dib gave into the kiss, letting it deepen as he ran his tongue along Dwicky's own. His grip tightened on Dwicky's wrist for a moment before he finally pulled back and grinned. "I'm all for that. Although, I think it would defeat the purpose of being careful." His free hand moved up the teen's shirt so his fingers could smooth across skin. "Not that I'm in the right mind to care right now. Besides, I'm sure they're lost somewhere still searching for you, or possibly me." He leaned in to lick at the teen's neck.

Dwicky clunked his head back against the side of the bus. The sound made him grin stupidly and give a small 'sorry'. "Keeping doing that- and I won't care _what_ we do in public." He ran his fingers through Dib's hair before he gave in and latched onto the back of Dib's coat.

Dib laughed a bit at those words. "This coming from the person that was so worried over what was found out by the media." He sucked at a small spot of skin for a few seconds before he nibbled on it with teeth. As soon as he pulled away he spoke up again against the wet spot. "How easily you give in." He pulled his hand out from Dwicky's shirt to grab at the one latched onto his coat. He pulled it away and brought it up to join the other he had a hold of, keeping both wrists pinned in one hand. Once that was done he brought his free hand back down to pull Dwicky's shirt all the way up as he got to his knees in front of the teen and started to lick at his stomach.

Dwicky took as much of his shirt as he could into his mouth to muffle the throaty moan he wanted to let out. He shut his eyes and furrowed his brows, trying to keep restrained and not squirm too terribly much. He arched from the bus. He let the fabric drop from his mouth to talk, trying to keep his voice hushed. "Maybe I am easy..." Dwicky blinked "Easy to give in-- I mean. Easy to give in, yea... mm-easily detoured." He pouted a frown and bit his lip. "I was only looking out for your well being." He made a small groaned whimper and half-grinned. "And that includes being pinned against a skool bus and thoroughly licked."

Dib glanced up, barely taking his tongue back so he could speak. "Well, if this is how you plan to look out for me, then by all means, please do." He went right back to what he was doing, darting his tongue out to lick a wet trail up Dwicky's stomach and to the teen's chest. His hand fell away from the shirt and down to jeans, slipping low beneath.

"D-Dib." Dwicky leaned heavily on the bus, his arms unconsciously moving and easily remained of their restraint. It was too hard to be quiet, but there were so many students still out and about, parents and even teachers roaming at the other side of the bus. It was dangerous, and even harder not to enjoy it because of it; Dwicky was finding common sense far too easy to discard.

"Shh..." Dib hushed the other as he continued to lick along skin. His tongue teased at a nub before his teeth bit down, tugging gently. His hand moved away from Dwicky's jeans and fell to his own side as Dib finally pulled back after a few seconds and stood back up. When he was level enough with Dwicky again, he leaned in and pressed his lips to the other's while still keeping him restrained.

Dwicky practically slammed his lips back against Dib's now that he had the chance. His piercing clacked against Dib's teeth trying to press past and lash against the other's tongue. He arched from the bus, trying to press as close as he could to Dib, half-fighting the restraining hands to do so.

The force Dwicky used to press back actually surprised Dib for a moment, but he didn't pull away. He gave the teen what he wanted, twisting his tongue around the other's and licking at the stud that settled there. His hand finally slipped away, giving Dwicky his freedom back, and landed around the teen's neck.

Dwicky didn't seem to know what to do with his hands now that he had them. He clung to the front of Dib's shirt as he lapped at the other's tongue, letting his piercing drag against the inside of Dib's mouth. Coordination decided to grace him once more and his hands slipped from Dib's chest, dragging his shirt up but not stopping till they gripped the man's rear pulling him impossibly close against him on the bus.

Dib couldn't help the groan that escaped him. Thankfully the sound was muffled by Dwicky's lips and he deepened the kiss even more to try and silence anymore noise that would come from him. One of his legs moved so he could slip a knee between Dwicky's legs, pressing as close as he could get with the restriction of clothes.

Beyond themselves Dwicky could barely make out something, and he wish he didn't. He gave a low groan but this time it wasn't because of something pleasing Dib did, in fact, it was quite the latter. He drew his hands back from where they wanted to stay, placing them on Dib's shoulders to give the man a good hard shove away.

It was just in time too, for on either side the herd of students earlier had found him. Though he might as well still had his tongue still shoved in Dib's mouth for the way some girls were staring at him with such starry eyes.

Dwicky thudded back against the bus, disheveled, with another low groan. "...Damnit."

Dib turned to look towards the sudden swarm of students while he moved a hand up, running it through his hair. He looked each face over for a few moments then back to Dwicky, not able to keep the small laugh in and having to hide it behind a hand. Of course doing so wasn't really doing any good in keeping the attention off of him and he quickly tried to quiet himself.

There was a quiet hush after Dib laughed and all eyes instantly went to him; the tension could easily be felt.

Dwicky turned his attention to Dib as well. Slowly his eyes widened, he knew exactly what was coming. "Oh.. hell." He threw his hand up to point. "Quick-- on the bus!"

That's when it came, the shrill excited squeal of hundreds of students, a surround sound that could easily rupture ear drums.

"DIB!" everyone screamed at the top of their lungs with such great enthusiasm.

Dib could feel his ears ringing, but tried his best to ignore it all in favour of taking Dwicky's suggestion and hurrying onto the school bus. The students were quick and already trying to reach for him by the time he was grabbing for Dwicky and pulling the teen with him towards the bus doors. He tried to pry them open with his free hand and just as a few fingers grabbed for his coat that's when they finally opened, allowing the both of them inside. Dib wasted no time closing them as soon as they were both safe inside the bus, turning around to watch the students behind the clear doors. "Weirdoes..."

Dwicky stared with wide eyes as his fellow students pawed and groped at the door and windows, smearing finger prints on the already dirty glass. He snuck around and hid behind Dib, clinging to his coat as he peered at the determined onslaught of whining whimpering fans; who knew what disturbing things they'd want to do to them outside.

"They're _your_ fans." Dwicky glanced at Dib. "Stop being so awesome, it gets them riled up." He smirked a little and jumped when students slammed themselves up against the window on the other side of the bus. He shrunk down to crouch, pulling Dib's jacket over his head like a horrible makeshift cloak to hide in.

"I can't help how popular I am. It's a gift." Dib couldn't help but grin at the ridiculous words. The sudden shaking behind him, under his coat caused him to shake his head a bit while he watched the students try and claw their way inside the bus with no real success. "I'm starting to think it would have been a better idea for me to call you." He started to look around for a safe exit as he spoke up again. "Who would have known I'd ever be popular at skool."

"Anything not _in_ skool is always in. It's an unspoken rule. Erm- minus just now." Dwicky huffed. "This is completely unfair. Didn't they know I was quite engaged in some seriously important activity." He paused and blinked. "Oh wait, they don't.. that was the point." The teen narrowed his eyes and grinned cattily as he glanced up at Dib. "Ohh, you're going to hate me for what I have to say, Dib."

Dib paused for a moment, not really finding any safe way out since the students seemed to be blocking every window and the doors. He turned his eyes back to Dwicky and raised a brow. "I'm afraid to ask, but what is it?"

Dwicky gave a nervous bout of laughter. "Ahh... I left my bag in my locker."

Dib narrowed his eyes on the teen for a few moments before he let out a groan. He turned his attention back to the many windows and seeing what awaited them outside, Dib immediately let his head fall to the top of a bus seat and allowed it to rest there as another noise escaped him.

Dwicky slunk from Dib's coat tails to stand, there was a slink in the movement that caused several girls (and one guy) to squeal some. The loud noise startled the teen and he unconsciously clung to Dib's coat which caused the girls to cheer louder. Dwicky gave a wry grin. He stuck out his arm, cocking his hip to the side in pose, they cheered. He stuck his hand up in a new pose, they cheered. He put both hands up in the air in pose, they gave a disappointed 'awww'. Dwicky smirked wryly and placed a hand on Dib's shoulder, they gave a happy noise. He placed it on Dib's side, they made a louder happy noise. He put both arms loosely around Dib's middle, the screaming hollers and hoots of joy were deafening at that one.

Dwicky's brows raised as he glanced up at Dib amused. "Fan service. So unquestionable, gotta love it."

All of the noise had caused Dib to raise his head a bit. The sudden touch Dwicky had given him had startled him, but when all of the students outside had only cheered it caused Dib to relax. Especially when the teen wrapped his arms around him. He stood up a bit more and glanced back at Dwicky as he spoke up. "And you were worried." He smirked at that and shook his head as he looked back at the squealing fans.

"I'm not worried about mindless teenagers. Besides, they don't think with the correct head." Dwicky grinned teeth at that. "A guilty pleasure I will admit to." He rested his head on Dib's shoulder to peer up at him and the ecstatic cheers started up again. "Just be careful, gossip and rumours spread through our kind like a spark near gas soaked rags." He sighed oh so dramatically and let his eyes shut. "I'm going to have one too many friends now. Peachy."

Dib raised a hand and traced it over one of Dwicky's own, ignoring the loud noises that came from outside the bus because of the action. "Well, who's seriously going to believe a bunch of fangirls?" He spotted the one boy in the crowd and raised a brow. "And fanboys? I mean, they constantly spread rumors and make up so many of their own stories." He rolled his eyes at that. "I think it's hard for anyone to really believe what they have to say anymore. They're about as reliable as the tabloids." He turned his head once again to look at Dwicky. "As for friends, hey, at least they aren't Phisty." He grinned.

Dwicky narrowed his eyes in dry amusement at that before rolling his eyes to look away. "Geez, thank God. I can only put up with one of him as is. But I rather not deal with either, thanks. It's hard to concentrate with girls piercing my ear drums about getting them some kind of keep sake from you. Not to mention being groped by random strangers in the halls. It's creepy, people who I have no clue who they are know my name." He looked at Dib again. "Who knew so many people watched the news."

"The news or the radio, whichever works best at the time." Dib shrugged his shoulders. "Either way, you didn't seem to mind the idea of taking my place when we talked about it that one time. Now suddenly you can't handle all of the squealing and groping." A loud shrill caused Dib to tense up for a moment and when it finally died down he lifted a finger to rub at his ear. "Although, I can't really blame you."

"It's not _their_ squealing and groping I don't mind." Dwicky gave Dib's rear a friendly pat, and he tried to ignore the repercussive shrieks of girls he got from it. He tried to hide the grin on his mouth as he walked over to the side of the bus with the thinnest crowd, it made no matter because the students flocked around there anyway. He peered out and waved giving a daft smile.

Dib shook his head at those words and tried his best to control himself, but he soon lost that battle. He walked towards Dwicky while looking out the windows, but once he got to the teen, Dib moved his arms around the other's waist and held him close to his chest. The noise outside reached a new high, but Dib wasn't finished. He moved his head forward and bit at Dwicky's ear, licking at it once it was between his teeth.

Dwicky was too stunned to mew or move. Heat washed over him from head to toe, staining his features a dark shade of bemused embarrassment. He couldn't decide whether he should go slack or tense up at such a bold move. "D-D-Dib?" he murmured unsurely, grasping the man's coat as he shied away some.

Dib's arms tightened when Dwicky moved and he couldn't help grinning against the teen's ear. "What's wrong?" He pulled his lips away just enough to speak while he allowed one of his hands to move much too low. He didn't really give the teen much time to respond before he gave another quick lick to the rim of his ear. "Ya know, I think they like it." It was a bit obvious by the wide eyed stares and small bouts of squealing.

Dwicky let out a breathy exhale. "Two good looking guys like ourselves.. mmf- doing hot things like this in public? Heh. What's not to like?" He let go of Dib's coat and smoothed his hands to rest flat on the man's chest. "But you're going to get in trouble if you go to far. People will ask me just how good you are in bed." He traced little hearts on Dib's chest. "And, well, I'll just be forced to research that little piece of info." As disappointed as that was meant to sound he went against his own warnings and pressed nearer to Dib.

Dib let out a quiet noise at the contact as well as the words. "Maybe at some point you'll be able to find out." A grin came to his face before he went on. "Right now I'd rather you not find out while on a bus in front of a bunch of your classmates. It's a bit awkward." He leaned forward to press a rough kiss on Dwicky's lips, keeping the contact for a good while before he pulled back. "Doesn't mean we can't give them a little something, though before I steal you away."

The teen was too breathless to reply immediately, and everyone outside the bus seemed to have the same problem. Dwicky felt his cheeks grow incredibly hot. Suddenly most of everything he had said before felt completely counter productive. "B-b-ut... that pasty weener over there sits right beside me in biology. He's fogging up the window over there. That'll be awkward tomorrow." Dwicky couldn't help but look away shyly from Dib, but he didn't move away.

Dib glanced toward the window and smirked as he moved his eyes over the rest of the students. Finally, he turned his eyes back on Dwicky and leaned forward to place another kiss on his lips, sucking on the metal ring in his bottom one for a few moments before he pulled back. "Well, at least you won't be bored tomorrow." He grinned and finally pulled away from the other, but let his hands drop to hold Dwicky's own. "That is if you're even here tomorrow." He glanced away at that, trying his best to look innocent.

Dwicky could only stare at the other rather dazed. He pursed his lips into a silent 'oh'. He could only slowly nod, quite happy to agree to the latter statement. He didn't even seem to hear the loud high pitched shouts of the fans outside, his mind was completely somewhere else. "You're such a bad influence." A horribly sly grin crossed his lips. "And frankly, I love it." He glanced outside the windows and then back at Dib, his grin growing just that much more wicked. "You're going to get me suspended." The teen lashed out a hand to grab Dib by the front of the coat, yanking him down to kiss him quite deeply. Lashing his pierced tongue across Dib's lips, without warning, he threw the man from him to push him onto a bus seat. "But.. oh well." Dwicky gave a loose shrug as he crawled onto the seat as well, invading Dib's lap. "Anything for the fans."

It was Dib's turn to be completely dazed by the sudden attention and switch in control. He blinked wide eyes up at Dwicky as the teen crawled on top of him, barely hearing the words said. As soon as he caught them, he shook his head and ran hands up Dwicky's sides before he pulled the teen down for another quick kiss. "While this is all very tempting, it's not the exact reason I came to get you." He ran a hand through the hair on the back of Dwicky's head as he continued to speak. "I actually have something very important to talk to you about. The fans will just have to wait another time."

Dwicky tilted his head to the side. "Fooled me." He grabbed the lapels of Dib's coat and ripped it open, not caring what buckle, button or zipper broke; he was sure Dib could afford to repair or even buy a new one. The action had the crowd outside firmly planting their faces against the glass with a cheer. He drew a finger down Dib's chest now that there was just a shirt keeping him from skin. "Or are you just upset that you're being topped by a teenager?" His hand slid down to the bottom of Dib's shirt to drag it up, much to the squealing glee of the girls outside the bus.

"Oh no." Dib watched Dwicky's finger with much interest as he continued to speak. "I'm not complaining." A smirk tugged at his lips as he glanced back up at the other. "In fact, I rather enjoy it." He sat up a little while moving a hand to grab Dwicky's own, gripping it at the wrist to keep it still. He leaned forward just enough so their faces were inches a part and kept them that way, speaking against the other's lips. "But sadly, it's work before play."

Dwicky bit at Dib's lip, tugging it rather roughly, obvious towards his disappointment. He leaned back and pouted a frown that turned into a childish scowl. "All work and no play-" he huffed, yanking his wrist free as he flopped off Dib beside him on the seat "-makes Dwicky a dull boy." He crossed his arms and glanced out the window to see the equally disappointed fans. He scowled at them, slamming a palm against the window that sent them startling back. "Whatchyu stare'n at!?" He slouched more in his seat, recrossing his arms. "Alright, work me up and now work me out." Dwicky gestured loosely to speak what importance he had to say.

Dib raised a brow to Dwicky's sudden attitude. It had him scooting close to the teen so he could wrap his arms around the other in a loose embrace as he spoke up. "We have another case. Something very important that has to be dealt with as soon as possible." He moved his head a bit to get a better look at Dwicky's face. "I came to pick you up and take you back to my place so I could go over it a bit more since I didn't bring the whole file with me. Besides, I think it's something you should read over anyway before we deal with it." His tone turned a bit serious at that.

Dwicky's attention perked but he wasn't entirely won over by Dib. "Another mission you say?" He tapped his lower lip piercing with his pointer finger's ring. "Well, I suppose I could cook you your special something while I go over this new case." He sighed dramatically. "For the sake of the world." He glanced with a wry smirk at Dib. "I'm guessing that's why I'll be missing skool, and not what I assumed. Hmm, too bad. I think we would have been good together." Dwicky patted Dib's thigh before pulling from his embrace to stand up from the seat. "Humm. Ya'know, for a celebrity, your sense of romance really stinks." Dwicky snickered before he went to an opposite window, trying to figure out how to open it to crawl out.

Dib narrowed his eyes at that. "Hey, cut me some slack. It's been a while since I've had an actual i good /i relationship." He blinked his eyes and looked down at the floor as he thought over those words. "I can't even remember the last time. Damn..." He shrugged as he stood up and followed Dwicky over to the window. He ran his hand over it and found the latch to open it, sliding it away as quietly as he could as he continued to speak. "Speaking of relationships, how'd it go with Phisty?"

"Hm, and you criticize _me_ for my relationsh---iiiit-ums." Dwicky stepped onto the bus seat and peered his head out. "GO HOME!" The crowd shouted back the many obscene things they would rather see the inside occupants do in reply. Dwicky glanced at Dib and back out so quickly it made him dizzy. "I-haven't-talked-to-him-yet." he said the string of words as quickly under his breath as he could before twisting around to attempt slipping the first part of his body out the window before the crowd, or Dib, decided to grab him.

Dib narrowed his eyes at that information. Despite how quickly Dwicky was trying to get away, he still made sure his voice was heard. "You said you would talk to him. What's the point in any of _this_ if you're just going to have him on the side? It's ridiculous. I think I have a right to criticize." Dib seemed to give up just as quickly as he spoke up and shook his head as he made his way out of the window as well. It was a death trap, but it was the only way.

Dwicky's head appeared, upside down as the boy was sitting on the roof. A good few of his looser necklaces hanging off his chin since they slipped off his neck. "I'm _not_ having him on the side." His scowl faded as he looked around unsurely, as if the answer was there among the raging fans. "I'm.. -just.. uhh --procrastinating." He flinched; perhaps honesty was not one of his better qualities. One of the more persistent fans jumped up, trying to grab a fist full of Dwicky's hair. The teen yelped and jerked back, so instead the girl grabbed and got a hold of his necklaces, which easily slipped off at the odd angle. "H-hey! I like those necklaces!" But the girl was already running off with her prize in a giggling fit with her friends.

Dib watched the girl run off and couldn't help but laugh even though his mood wasn't all that great. Once he was out the window he flipped up a little to land on the roof as well. A chorus of 'awws' came from below, but Dib ignored them for the time being. "Savages." It was the only thing Dib mumbled at the teens below. He turned his attention back on Dwicky and let out a sigh. "You should stop procrastinating and just dump him. I don't see what the big deal is."

Dwicky sat on the bus, thin legs splayed out in front of him, looking at best like a forlorn puppy. He gave a small forced laugh, raising a hand to rub at the back of his head. "Heh. You really haven't been a teenager in a long time, have you." He smirked some as he looked up at the other. "If it were that easy, then they wouldn't be making so many evening teen dramas."

Dib frowned and shook his head. "Well, things usually get solved in those dramas." He seemed to think about that for a moment. "Although, there always seems to be even more crap piled on after things get settled, but that's not my point." He moved an arm out to pull Dwicky close, keeping his arm around the teen's shoulders. "My point is that you have to face up to the situation at some time or another. Alright? It's only going to hurt the both of us if you continue to keep him around."

The teen's brows raised and he couldn't help the smirk. "You so belong in a teen drama." He patted Dib's chest, staring at it for a moment. "Phisty isn't... uh ...the most stable of people." He worried on his lip piercing. "I suddenly dump him... he's gunna figure out this." He tapped Dib's chest. "I mean.. look." He gave the other a flat amused smirk. "We're not exactly being _subtle_. And soon- everyone will know." He traced anxious circles on the man's chest.

"MAKE OUT AGAIN!" a girl shouted from the ground, an agreeing cheer soon following, and soon everyone below was shouting it.

Dib flinched and let his head fall down on Dwicky's shoulder, hoping that would drown all of the loud noise out. It didn't, but he could dream. "We should get out of here before some news crew rolls by and decides to record this little event for the entire world to see." He lifted his head to glare down at the teenagers below. "With the way things have been going, it's not too unlikely."

Just then some large vehicles with large satellite dishes on them screeched into the school parking lot.

"Hey look!" One girl below pointed. "It's the news!"

Dwicky shoved Dib away from him, his eyes snapping comically wide. "Quick! TO THE DIB MOBILE!" He thrusted a pointed finger into the air.

Dib gave Dwicky nothing but a blank stare as he held onto the side of the bus after being pushed away. "I should shove you off of this bus for saying that." He raised a hand to grab Dwicky's arm so he could pull the teen with him as he jumped down from the roof, making sure to land on his feet along with Dwicky. Since the hordes of teenagers were occupied watching the news crew, it gave them the opportunity to slip off towards the car.

Dwicky stumbled, trying to keep up. "But without me where would you get your comic relief from? Your socks? Newp!" He slipped into the passenger side of the car, just as several girls slammed into the shut door. It made him jump, he hadn't noticed them tailing them. They pawed and whined and tried to peer past the tinted windows. "Floor it!" He flailed a hand as he clicked his seat belt on.

Dib didn't need to be told twice. As soon as the key was in the ignition, Dib put the car in drive and stepped down on the gas, making his way out of the parking lot as fast as he could. "I never thought picking you up from Skool would be such a chore. Remind me never to do it again unless it's a real emergency." He glanced out the review mirror and shuddered when he saw a few of the kids tailing the car. He stepped a little harder on the gas, forgetting about the speed limit for the time being as he looked ahead once more.

Dwicky turned from looking out the rear view window to give Dib a rather unimpressed. "My, you're such a charmer." He reclined against his seat. "That's why you go incognito." He brushed his dark bangs back so he could look at Dib with both eyes, smirking. "You still have that shirt, aaand my hat, you know."

"They're both in my closet." Dib smirked. "Small little souvenir of our first meeting. It's the way I see it. Unless you really want them back, I plan on keeping them. Just not wearing them." He looked at Dwicky out the corner of his eyes. "I'd give you something of mine, but half of my wardrobe is pretty recognizable, and it's obvious you're starting to need your own disguise as well. Sorry."

"Hmmmm!" Dwicky seemed to perk, a large sly grin creeping over his features. "The great and all powerful Dib is sentimental." He grinned. "Or a pack rat." He shrugged. "I'm a little of both myself." He leaned over to the side just lightly leaning his head on Dib's shoulder, peering up at him. "But I wouldn't mind anything of yours. Be it recognizable or not." He leaned his head enough so he could slip his tongue out to flick Dib's ear piercing.

Dib leaned his head towards Dwicky's tongue while he tried to concentrate on the road at the same time. "Well then, I'll just have to let you dig through my stuff and let you take your pick." He let out an amused sound. "My clothing, I mean, not my really expensive equipment. That stuff stays at my place where you can sit down and toy with it when you come over."

Dwicky snapped his fingers. "Damn!" He slumped against Dib's side. "Dig through your clothes, eh?" He cackled quietly. "What if I steal a pair of your underwear? Something black and slinky; providing you have a pair." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Although, if you gave it to me, ya know taking the time, effort and thought to pick, it'd mean more." He glanced around shifty eyed. "Though I don't know if that'd stop me from still pilfering something scantily clad from your sock drawer." he added quietly, giving an innocent smile after as if he'd said nothing incriminating at all.

"Stick my underwear in with a shrine you have somewhere in your room?" Dib couldn't stop grinning as hard as he tried. "Don't think I didn't see that poster you tried to hide off the ceiling that one night. You may be sneaky, Dwicky, but you aren't _that_ sneaky."

Dwicky's jaw dropped. "Aww- no way!" His hand met his face. "I thought I got them all, I really di--- I mean- nuuu." He cleared his throat. "I'd probably wear them.. if they wouldn't be so big on me." He paused with a blink, nothing _good_ was coming out of his mouth today. "Hmm, I'll just trust your judgment." He patted Dib's thigh and kept his hand there.

"That would probably be your safest bet." Dib dropped a hand to squeeze Dwicky's own for a few quick seconds before he moved it back to the steering wheel. "For now, let's just focus on actually getting back to my place and talking about what I picked you up for. Then when all is said and done I can rummage through my stuff for you."

"Sounds like a plan, chief." Dwicky grinned and patted Dib's leg. "And I'll try to keep my hands to myself, and not pillage your sock drawer." He grinned wider. "No promises though."


	8. READ FIRST

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